Shouldn't I teach my kids proper manners cuz I'm not

amother

Sat, Nov 16 2024, 9:59 pm

A role model?
In general, very poor hygiene myself. But, my kids doing the same disgust me and trigger me like crazy. as if I was the complete opposite!
I know the right way would be to change myself first and then teach my kids. But easier said than done...and my kids are young and don't need to know everything I do when they don't see....so should I not teach them manners cuz don't be a hypocrite or can I yes demand while doing the opposite when they don't see?
Some examples
I like to eat all around the house. On the couch bed wherever besides for table. But if I let My kids eat snack in the room, or let them finish their supper on the couch, my floors toys walls couch are one greasy dirty mess.
I'm embarrassed to admit but I still pick my nose... My kids doing this is a different story....
I'm too embarrassed to list more but you get the picture...

amother

Banana

Sat, Nov 16 2024, 10:02 pm

1. Teach them manners
2. Teach yourself manners too

You can do both simultaneously. I don’t think a parent needs to be perfect in an area in order to instill those values in their kids. But make an effort to try and work on yourself. Eventually they’ll be old enough to realize you don’t do the things you teach them, and you’ll be stuck

amother

Lawngreen

Sat, Nov 16 2024, 10:09 pm

I also pick my nose unfortunately. I can't stand the smell of tissues so I never learned how to do things the socially acceptable way.

I do tell my kids that I'm doing the wrong thing and encourage them to do it right "like DH does."

It doesn't mean they always listen but I can't express how it disgusts me when they do it in front of me because hello hypocrite. I don't criticize them when they do it but whenever I have the opportunity I suggest they get a tissue.

amother

Kiwi ↓

Sat, Nov 16 2024, 10:16 pm

Look I won't sit on my bed eating while telling them not to but if they don't see you then teach them the right way.
I'll admit, I drink out of a bottle when my kids don't see. I don't let my kids do it. Maybe they do it when I don't see lol.
I made a strict rule about only eating in the kitchen. At night when my kids are sleeping and I'm working on the couch I eat chips and whatnot.
And sometimes I say, we're all working on this together. Like taking plates off the table. It's something that should get done but I also forget a lot but I still ask my kids to.

sushilover

Sat, Nov 16 2024, 10:25 pm

In most circumstances, you should work on yourself first. Bonus, it will help you help your kids. You personally will figure out the tricks of how to break bad habits and you'll be able to guide them with personal experience.
And if you are not perfect yet, you can tell your kids, "Let's work on this together."

There are certain circumstances where you know it's different for you. For example, if I leave my plate on the table after a meal, it's not ideal but I'm not being rude because I will be the one to clean the kitchen later. But if my child leaves his plate on the table, that's quite rude. He's literally leaving it for me to clean up after him.

amother

Wandflower

Sat, Nov 16 2024, 10:27 pm

Think about it. Just like when your kids do it it disgusts you, same with other people.

You don't have to master yourself first. You can make it a family project. But don't be hypocrite.

amother

Navyblue

Sat, Nov 16 2024, 10:29 pm

You need to teach them even if you are a bad role model. Because right now they don’t even know there is another option. About food I do tell my kids grown ups are different just like babies sit in high chairs, older kids sit at the table and wash hands and adults can eat wherever. I also tell them I have bad habits but that doesn’t mean they should copy mine and really I wish I was better and now they have a chance to be.

The worst thing you can do is teach your kids nothing and have them be really embarrassed when they realize they could have not done it had they known it’s not acceptable.

amother

Gladiolus

Sat, Nov 16 2024, 10:41 pm

About eating away for the table I think its ok to have different rules for older kids/ adults that can do it without the mess

amother

↑ Kiwi

Sat, Nov 16 2024, 11:35 pm

I think it's much harder to break a habit later then when you learn it right the first time.
It's not hypocritical to at least try to teach them the right way.

hodeez

Sat, Nov 16 2024, 11:48 pm

Don't do it in front of your kids, if u have to pick your nose or adjust a wedgie, go somewhere they can't see you. And you really can't be forcing them to be mannered when you are doing the exact opposite