Do you buy baby gifts for your sister in laws?

amother

Sapphire

Thu, Nov 14 2024, 12:42 pm

WhatFor wrote:

What do you mean for your sister-in-law? This question is phrased funny for me, what am I missing?

If I buy a baby gift, it's for my niece/nephew. Or if we're saying that a gift is technically for the parents, then it's from me and DH either for my brother and his wife or for DH's sister and her DH. Either way, it's for one of our siblings and their spouse/child.

I find this idea that it's only for the mother to be strange. Unless you specifically mean buying her a massage or a spa treatment, or something for her. And in that case, no. We don't specifically do that although I guess it would be nice.

Are you handing the baby the gift and expecting them to open it and say thank you? It’s a gift for the baby, that is given to its parents. We all understood OP

amother

Magnolia

Thu, Nov 14 2024, 12:45 pm

amother OP wrote:

I was discussing buying baby gifts for my sister-in-laws that are pregnant and people were telling me "wow that's so nice"

I was really shocked by that reaction because I just thought it's a given that you would get your sister-in-laws baby gifts.

But a lot of people told me that no, it's not a given. Am I crazy for thinking that that's sad?

For more reference - I haven't had kids yet and my husband has many siblings but I still feel responsible to buy even just a small cheap gift. I'm not talking anything fancy. $10-$30

Of course
And I buy for my friends.
For my sils I gift larger sums of money too especially if there was a bris

amother

Junglegreen

Thu, Nov 14 2024, 12:59 pm

DH is one of 10 so I only get for the first for everyone and for SIL’s that I’m closer to, I’ll buy for other babies as well. On my side, we’re a small family so I give for every birth

amother

Daphne

Thu, Nov 14 2024, 12:59 pm

Yes we give to siblings, nieces/nephews, cousins… the closer I am to the person the more I would spend but usually buy a nice gift even if not so close. Bh we can afford it.

amother

Snapdragon

Thu, Nov 14 2024, 1:15 pm

Yes. My siblings we give nicely, like $30-40 for the first child, and a bit less for the next, as a group gift.
One of my SIL kind of said that she wants us to stop, which I thought was unfair. You got for your 4 kids, why shouldn't my sister get for her second?

My IL family is way pettier, they have us all chip in for a $50 gift. They ask us to pay for something they got as a gift and are regifting. The good part is that they forget to collect, no matter how many times I ask what my share was.
I sometimes gift them alone as I can't stand it.

imaima ↓

Thu, Nov 14 2024, 2:44 pm

flowerpower wrote:

I give my siblings. Dh siblings only give by the first kid.

Does your dh not care to give his siblings? Or do you have separate budgets?

I wonder how it works

↑ flowerpower

Thu, Nov 14 2024, 2:49 pm

imaima wrote:

Does your dh not care to give his siblings? Or do you have separate budgets?

I wonder how it works

He doesn’t care what happens. He’s not involved in gift giving. He just goes along with what I do. So in dh family they chip in for the first kid and zehu. If I would give each neice and nephew my sils would not appreciate it as they may feel pressure to reciprocate. On my side we celebrate each birth by giving a gift so we chip in every single time.

↑ imaima

Thu, Nov 14 2024, 2:53 pm

flowerpower wrote:

Wow interesting I didn’t realize they wouldn’t want that

amother

Black

Thu, Nov 14 2024, 3:05 pm

amother OP wrote:

My husband has 10 siblings and they kh have a lot of kids but I couldn't imagine not buying even a small gift for each.

Family is so important

In my family we do a group gift sometimes

Otherwise I get something on my own for the baby

↑ WhatFor

Thu, Nov 14 2024, 11:37 pm

amother OP wrote:

Ok ok I hear the logic but I think we all understood what I meant

I'm not nitpicking on logic or words here. I've honestly never heard of this mentality where I'd consider a niece /nephew as "my sister-in-law's kids". If I were describing them to someone beyond just my niece/nephew, I'd actually probably refer to them as my brother's kids because that's how I'm related to them. Or if they're from DH's side, I'd describe them as my DH's sister's kids.

This isn't about just words, I assume it's affects a mentality. Like of course I'd buy my brother a gift for his newborn, he's my brother and just had a kid. If I was thinking about it as my SIL's kid, it might subconsciously impact the way I felt about it, I don't know.