 |
|
 |
 |
|
|
Forum
-> Inquiries & Offers
-> Lakewood, Toms River & Jackson related Inquiries
|
amother
OP
|
 Yesterday at 10:43 am
|
What birthday months do ppl hold kids back for??! Thinking to hold mine back but don’t want him to be the oldest on his class
| |
|
| Back to top |
 0
 0
|
|
amother
Kiwi
|
Yesterday at 10:46 am
Depends on kid even kids with November birthdays are sometimes held back esp boys
But yes he might be the oldest.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
amother
|
Yesterday at 10:47 am
I hear even September/ October kids hold back
Definitely November and December
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
amother
|
Yesterday at 10:47 am
Holding back will make your kid the oldest
But leaving them will make them the youngest
It’s either or
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
3
|
amother
|
Yesterday at 10:54 am
November is the iffy month, especially for boys. If your child is October and struggling,it is ok to hold back too. Boys schools don't like to take December, some girls schools too. Most classes have over a full year age span between the students.
For boys age only becomes apparent during bar mitzva season. As lost as the first bar mitzva is in 7th grade, it's embarrassing to be the early one. The whole class is at minyan anyway, just don't need the white shirt and tefillin.
For girls, bas mitzva is not as big deal as bar mitzva, especially because there is no physical marker and you can't invite your friends anyway. Puberty doesn't necessarily go by age, so the older ones are not always going to be first.
I have deadline kids and I made the decision based on social readiness.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
amother
|
Yesterday at 11:05 am
My sons school they separate the classes (4 parallel ) by birthday. He has a January birthday and is in the oldest of the four classes. However he is one of the youngest in his class - there are even September birthdays.
If he’s truly borderline I would base it on the child’s maturity, and as silly as it sounds, physical size. If he’s tiny I wouldn’t push him up and have him be way smaller than all the other boys.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
2
|
|
amother
Taupe
|
Yesterday at 11:30 am
My daughter was born November 30. They wouldn't even interview her without me holding her back a year.
There are 2 or 3 girls older than her in her class.
| |
|
| Back to top |
1
0
|
amother
|
Yesterday at 11:31 am
| amother Taupe wrote: | My daughter was born November 30. They wouldn't even interview her without me holding her back a year.
There are 2 or 3 girls older than her in her class. |
Yes my daughter is late September. We pushed her up (didn’t even realize there was the choice ) and there are girls more than a year older than her in the class
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
IndianRed
|
Yesterday at 11:39 am
I have 2 kids that are late November. They have always been the youngest in their grade both in elementary and highschool.
I’m so happy I didn’t hold back. They are social, intellectual, smart. No teacher was ever able to tell.
And in playgroup their teacher wasn’t sure
I always suggest applying to school on time. And waiting for the summer.
Most schools are happy to push your slot a year if you decide if there are ppl waiting for it.
But if you decide at application time to hold back and in the summer realize it’s a mistake there is really nothing to do.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Glitter
|
Yesterday at 12:53 pm
Nothing wrong with being the oldest.
We held one kid back. He was the 2nd or 3rd to oldest, just because the others who held back were a couple weeks older.
My daughter just missed the deadline. She's the oldest of the non-held back kids. If nobody held back, she would have been the oldest.
I think being the oldest in a class is better than a youngest.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
amother
|
Yesterday at 12:55 pm
|
Just saying oldest kids do amazing. Being the youngest they often struggle to keep up in the younger grades.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Scarlet
|
Yesterday at 12:59 pm
My son is a november birthday and he is the oldest
My girls are october birthdays and they are the youngest
Very happy with it and never regretted it
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
keym
|
Yesterday at 12:59 pm
Boys, many schools won't take November, and September and October get evaluated by individual situation.
Girls, November is more up in the air.
A big piece is the difference of expectations between boys and girls. Boys have a Rebbi, a desk, and are expected to catch on to kriah right away. Siddur by Pesach and Chumash by year end. Boys do have play time and coloring time, but it's a lot more forward learning and structured.
Girls, it's more relaxed. Tables. A Morah and assistant. The siddur at the end of the year and the Chumash only in the middle of 1st grade.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Copper
|
Yesterday at 1:22 pm
| amother DarkOrange wrote: | November is the iffy month, especially for boys. If your child is October and struggling,it is ok to hold back too. Boys schools don't like to take December, some girls schools too. Most classes have over a full year age span between the students.
For boys age only becomes apparent during bar mitzva season. As lost as the first bar mitzva is in 7th grade, it's embarrassing to be the early one. The whole class is at minyan anyway, just don't need the white shirt and tefillin.
For girls, bas mitzva is not as big deal as bar mitzva, especially because there is no physical marker and you can't invite your friends anyway. Puberty doesn't necessarily go by age, so the older ones are not always going to be first.
I have deadline kids and I made the decision based on social readiness. |
Embarrassing to be the first bar mitzva? Didn’t see that at all in my son’s class. Happens to be the first bar Mitzva was the nicest and most fun party of all of them, so they all had nice memories of that. And there are schools where the girls invite friends to bas mitzva, but again, no one thought the first was embarrassing at all. The girls were so excited to have a fun party to go to; in fact the first was prob the most exciting!
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
2
|
familyfirst
|
Yesterday at 1:29 pm
According to students, older students are more successful adults (Google it.)
They are always one step ahead of the average kid in their class and by the time everyone catches up they have developed a certain leadership and confidence.
Just something to think about
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
amother
|
Yesterday at 1:38 pm
| amother Copper wrote: | | Embarrassing to be the first bar mitzva? Didn’t see that at all in my son’s class. Happens to be the first bar Mitzva was the nicest and most fun party of all of them, so they all had nice memories of that. And there are schools where the girls invite friends to bas mitzva, but again, no one thought the first was embarrassing at all. The girls were so excited to have a fun party to go to; in fact the first was prob the most exciting! |
You are right. I meant to write it's not embarrassing in 7th grade. 6th grade is more embarrassing because it means they were held back, as apposed to deadline.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Electricblue
|
Yesterday at 1:47 pm
|
You have to know your own kids. Some people say being oldest is best that is only true if your child is not bright , if he or she is by far the oldest and smartest then they can be bored, act out or for a girl have nothing in common with more immature peers.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
amother
|
Yesterday at 1:53 pm
| amother Electricblue wrote: | | You have to know your own kids. Some people say being oldest is best that is only true if your child is not bright , if he or she is by far the oldest and smartest then they can be bored, act out or for a girl have nothing in common with more immature peers. |
My kids are all super bright and the oldest. And it has not been an issue ever. There are plenty of kids who have birthdays the same time as them.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Lightblue
|
Yesterday at 2:10 pm
|
More and more in Lakewood the schools are pushing to hold the November December kids back. An October kid I would do on a case by case basis. In my son’s class the November kids are the oldest. There’s no youngest November kids. In my daughters class mostly same, except for 1 November kid that is the youngest.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Dimgray
|
Yesterday at 2:53 pm
Westchester. They held back but I did not
My son was youngest and always shortest
Hard time in kindergarten
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
Imamother may earn commission when you use our links to make a purchase.
© 2024 Imamother.com - All rights reserved
|  |
 |
|
 |
|
|
