How do I tell her we can’t

amother

Daylily ↓

Wed, Nov 13 2024, 6:06 pm

10 is super young. Just say no you are too young. Maybe the 12 year old can work one half and you can start saving for her so she can go the other half. Send to a cheaper camp that offers scholarships.

amother

↑ Daylily

Wed, Nov 13 2024, 10:25 pm

amother Teal wrote:

10 is really standard in many places.

It's young. And it doesn't matter. If you can't afford it you say no and that's it. A parent can say no. Especially to a 10 year old.

amother

↑ SandyBrown

Wed, Nov 13 2024, 10:35 pm

amother Daylily wrote:

It's young. And it doesn't matter. If you can't afford it you say no and that's it. A parent can say no. Especially to a 10 year old.

Well, it isn't young in ops circles.
Op knows she can say no, her question is literally HOW to communicate this effectively.

amother

Lemonchiffon

Wed, Nov 13 2024, 10:42 pm

amother Dill wrote:

Where is 10 y.o standard?? I live in Passaic and 0 girls in my daughters class are going this year!

My daughter is still 9 but has lots of friends who went this past summer. Gd willing she’ll go this coming summer at age 10. This will be camp Dena which gets girls from all over the NY area. I myself started (many years back) at 9 and I was not at all the youngest.

amother

Strawberry

Wed, Nov 13 2024, 10:42 pm

We told our oldest camp is too expensive. Even for families that are not struggling it’s barely affordable. It’s not like telling them we can’t afford food for Shabbos. Camp is crazy expensive and we told them we can’t afford it. They understood and that was it.

amother

Lightgreen

Wed, Nov 13 2024, 10:43 pm

My daughter is turning 12 and in 6th grade and a lot of girls are going this year. Last year just a few girls went. My daughter is begging me to go the summer. She only wants to go because somebody in her class is trying to convince her and told her it's a lot of fun. I told her I don't think she's going to go this summer, but I would be open to sending her next summer.

I think starting going into 8th grade is fine. They could still go a few years

amother

Seafoam

Wed, Nov 13 2024, 11:07 pm

It’s so hard . My son wants to go next year and I really hope a miracle happens and we can afford it , because I think he needs it . But really this question is about everything all these kids want that they see everyone else have

amother

Gold

Wed, Nov 13 2024, 11:09 pm

amother Hyssop wrote:

They are way too young for camp.
No need to go before they are 14-15.

Just tell them they are too young and try saving so you can afford it when it's time.

Where I live, 14-15 is too old to be a camper. Maybe some exclusive teen camps. 9-13 is average.

OP, are there good options for what they can do if not going to overnight?

amother

Iris

Wed, Nov 13 2024, 11:22 pm

I’m ready for the rotten tomatoes to be thrown. I went into debt for it and don’t regret it. Unfortunately things that aren’t really needs become needs if it’s standard in your environment especially for pre-teens and teens. Age to start depends on community norms, not on what people would like to afford. Also really depends on what the other choice is of what to do. If most of the child’s friends (and I mean actual friends, not just kids in the neighborhood that your kid has nothing to do with) are either at sleepaway, traveling with their parents, or are in summer homes, you are putting them in a very difficult situation by not sending to camp. Cheaper than therapy. My kids got a lot out of camp. Most of them are adults now and they all feel it was necessary.