Siblings waking each other early morning is so triggering !

amother

OP ↓

Yesterday at 4:13 am

I know I should let go and that's what kids do all over and it's age appropriate. But somehow I'm so over protective with my kids sleep I I jump out of bed at the slightest a m sound and quickly and quietly remove the child's that already up to my room so the rest of kids stay sleeping for as long as possible. In my room they can either lay in my husbands bed, look out the window, or look at books quietly but I don't allow going back to their room taking stuff cuz it always results in the other kids waking too. But on days when my big boy now six wakes his younger sibling by yes going back into the room to take something or random making sounds till he goes out, I get triggered to a crazy extent that I start yelling louder than the norm very angry and making him feel bad. And I've been doing this to him since prob age four a half. He's learnt to come out quiet so at this point it rarely happens but when it does it brings out the worst of me! I sometimes wonder what's making me give up on my sleep just to protect the last few min of my kids sleep, and why an I so triggered when one child wakes the other one to a point where I yell like I never do?

amother

DarkOrange

Yesterday at 4:20 am

Cuz you're a mom and understand the repercussions of kids not having sleep

I'm the same way so I really get you. But you may have a bit of perfectionism - they HAVE to have as much sleep as possible. That thought could be making you hit the roof. I'd challenge that thought by asking myself if that is true? If kids miss out on a few minutes of sleep in the morning will the world come to a shattering end? No. So that way I can take the drama out of my response and calmly try to keep the house quiet.

imaima

Yesterday at 4:25 am

amother OP wrote:

Because you see sleep-deprived and want to have some rest before you have to deal with everyone. And if other kids are woken up too early, they can be cranky and whiny and you are the one who has to console them.
So obviously you want everyone to get some sleep. That’s understandable

amother

Camellia

Yesterday at 4:35 am

It’s ok if it happens.

Teach your child A. By speaking calmly B. By stating it’s respectful to stay quiet and let other’s sleep. Then rinse and repeat.

It takes 20 years to raise a child. Don’t expect them to get it the first or second or third…time you tell them. With realistic expectations you will not get triggered.

amother

Lawngreen

Yesterday at 4:39 am

Yes yes I feel you! I need every bit of sleep I can get and it’s so triggering my my older ones wake up my younger ones

Eventually it gets better and they can play on their own without coming into my room but when they do wake me up it’s incredibly hard for me

yiddishmom

Yesterday at 9:34 am

Try to internalize this:

- Yelling is WITHIN my control. Whether child A wakes up Child B, that's NOT in my control. Do I want to give up what's in my control for that which is not within my control?

Also, if you are yelling, that's a sure way to wake up whoever you were hoping would remain asleep.

I'm saying this gently. I used to be very similar.

Another, seemingly counterintuitive, trick I've learnt: greet the child with a warm smile and hug rather than right away reminding him/ her to keep quiet.

Good luck.

Practical tip: what is it that they usually go back to the room for? Perhaps bring it out the night before...

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 11:54 am

yiddishmom wrote:

thanks. I appreciate your post.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 12:01 pm

amother DarkPurple wrote:

Sorry but I find that really extreme to get so hysterical about this. It’s normal to wake up siblings to play with each other in the morning, especially if you want to sleep in.

I know. It's ridiculous how hysterical I get cuz Jack of sleep is less damaging than yelling at child first thing in morning... They could sometimes though wake sibling four thirty - five! And it's never about my sleeping in... Just the opposite if I wouldn't care about them waking each other and having company in their room I could've stayed in my bed sleeping in a little later....

amother

↑ OP

Yesterday at 12:09 pm

amother Lawngreen wrote:

by me it's being over protecting my kids sleep and giving up my own sleep for that...So I'd rather be up and busy early morning with wake child rather than him waking up sibling for company.

amother

Taupe

Yesterday at 1:31 pm

By the time my you gest came along, I had a house full of kids of a broad range of ages and with differing schedules. It was basically impossible to establish a consistent sleeping schedule for him because the house was bouncing from early in the morning until late at night and this kid was part of all the action. What can I tell you? He is my most well adjusted child and a great student. Adequate sleep is important, but being relaxed and going with the flow is as well.

amother

↑ DarkPurple

Yesterday at 1:35 pm

amother OP wrote:

Five is unfortunately normal for some kids but earlier than that is no. Get an ok to wake clock for him so he knows when he can get up and start playing.