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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
amother
OP
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Tue, Nov 12 2024, 3:43 am
We are going away for shabbos as a couple, my brother and sil agreed to come stay by us and be with our kids over shabbos. Is it rude or insulting if I lock the master bedroom? we are in israel
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zaq
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Tue, Nov 12 2024, 4:23 am
Who cares? If they don't snoop, they won't know, and if they do snoop, they deserve to be insulted. Go ahead!
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Elfrida
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Tue, Nov 12 2024, 4:25 am
Is there another comfortable bedroom for them to use?
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Molly Weasley
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Tue, Nov 12 2024, 5:16 am
I think it's very normal, I think of it as an Airbnb
you have access to certain rooms, period.
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Ruchel
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Tue, Nov 12 2024, 5:16 am
Mmmm I'm not giving my room. I've learned the hard way people are curious. So yes
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amother
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Tue, Nov 12 2024, 5:22 am
amother OP wrote: | We are going away for shabbos as a couple, my brother and sil agreed to come stay by us and be with our kids over shabbos. Is it rude or insulting if I lock the master bedroom? we are in israel |
I always lock my bedroom when we're away & have sitters or others over.
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nightryder3600
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Tue, Nov 12 2024, 5:41 am
amother OP wrote: | We are going away for shabbos as a couple, my brother and sil agreed to come stay by us and be with our kids over shabbos. Is it rude or insulting if I lock the master bedroom? we are in israel | We always lock the master - had a bad experience once so never again
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Reality
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Tue, Nov 12 2024, 5:45 am
If you have a nice guest bedroom for them, sure lock your bedroom. But it sounds like they are the ones doing you the favor. It doesn't seem so nice of you to act so suspicious of them. Did they volunteer to watch your kids, or you asked them?
Corrected spelling error.
Last edited by Reality on Tue, Nov 12 2024, 5:55 am; edited 1 time in total
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soproud
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Tue, Nov 12 2024, 5:48 am
Reality wrote: | If you have a nice gust bedroom for them, sure lock your bedroom. But it sounds like they are the ones doing you the favor. It doesn't seem so nice of you to act so suspicious of them. Did they volunteer to watch your kids, or you asked them? |
Exactly what I was thinking.
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amother
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Tue, Nov 12 2024, 5:54 am
Reality wrote: | If you have a nice gust bedroom for them, sure lock your bedroom. But it sounds like they are the ones doing you the favor. It doesn't seem so nice of you to act so suspicious of them. Did they volunteer to watch your kids, or you asked them? |
It's a normal thing to lock up the master when having others staying over. There's no reason for them to have access to the master bedroom.
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Reality
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Tue, Nov 12 2024, 5:59 am
amother Mulberry wrote: | It's a normal thing to lock up the master when having others staying over. There's no reason for them to have access to the master bedroom. |
If she has a nice guestroom for them, she can close the door. She trusts them to watch her kids but not to respect her boundaries. I wouldn't leave my kids with someone like that.
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amother
Amethyst
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Tue, Nov 12 2024, 5:59 am
Reminds me of my mil.
Mil: "dont you think its strange that we stayed somewhere for shobbos anf they locked the bedroom door?"
Me: "how do you know they locked the bedroom door?"
[I admit my comment wasnt the most respectful]
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amother
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Tue, Nov 12 2024, 6:01 am
They shouldn’t know it’s locked. If they do you know they tried to snoop.
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amother
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Tue, Nov 12 2024, 6:08 am
Reality wrote: | If she has a nice guestroom for them, she can close the door. She trusts them to watch her kids but not to respect her boundaries. I wouldn't leave my kids with someone like that. |
I think you're taking it out of context.
One has nothing to do with the other.
If the room is unlocked, guests/sitters may take it as permission to go in, thinking that you don't mind.
I also don't want my kids in my room.
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Reality
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Tue, Nov 12 2024, 6:08 am
amother Birch wrote: | They shouldn’t know it’s locked. If they do you know they tried to snoop. |
Not necessarily. Maybe one of the kids tried going into their parents' room and discovered/remembered it was locked. Why are we jumping to the worst conclusions?
Signed the lady who won't open up a cabinet door without permission in someone else's house let alone a door.
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mizle10
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Tue, Nov 12 2024, 6:13 am
zaq wrote: | Who cares? If they don't snoop, they won't know, and if they do snoop, they deserve to be insulted. Go ahead! |
She's leaving her kids at home, it would be normal for one of them to try and go in.
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amother
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Tue, Nov 12 2024, 6:15 am
amother Mulberry wrote: | It's a normal thing to lock up the master when having others staying over. There's no reason for them to have access to the master bedroom. |
Is this true though? Before you’d lock it, think if there’s anything they might possibly need from there for your kids… sometimes we forget about the small things.
Personally if someone was coming to take care of my kids, I wouldn’t lock up the master bedroom. But in general my bedroom and bathroom aren’t so off limits, especially to my kids.
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amother
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Tue, Nov 12 2024, 6:22 am
amother Tulip wrote: | Is this true though? Before you’d lock it, think if there’s anything they might possibly need from there for your kids… sometimes we forget about the small things.
Personally if someone was coming to take care of my kids, I wouldn’t lock up the master bedroom. But in general my bedroom and bathroom isn’t so off limits, especially to my kids. |
I always do this. But I don't really keep stuff in our room that the kids may need. And whatever guests may need, is available for them.
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