How early do you order tefillin ? Anything else I should kno

amother

OP ↓

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 2:05 pm

My son is 10.5

I know its early but I was thinking the earlier we order, the longer time wel have to pay it off.

How early do you need to look at halls and stuff?
Where do you even get a calender that you can see so far ahead?

Any other tips welcome.

Thanks so much.

amother

DarkViolet

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 3:03 pm

Tefillin one yr.
If specific hall you want can some times be 1 1/2 yrs in advance. I find bar mitzva halls it's the more affordable that book first. So if you need that jump.
After Tefillin and hall photography and music next priority. Nothing else to do until month before

amother

Pewter ↓

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 3:28 pm

amother Mimosa wrote:

Start saving! We are making one in December, nothing fancy, and boy is it adding up!!

We're making our 3rd one in July bh. We ordered them about 1.5 years before.
We've not booked a hall or caterer yet, I need to get on with it! Had so much on, I keep forgetting.

amother

↑ Pewter ↓

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 3:28 pm

amother Mimosa wrote:

Start saving! We are making one in December, nothing fancy, and boy is it adding up!!

Do you think £6.5k will be enough for a small Simcha in Manchester? I really hope so because we might not have much more!

amother

Snowdrop ↓

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 3:33 pm

Depending on who you want to get the tefillin from, you might need to order more than a year in advance.
Your biggest help would be finding someone who is local to you, and a similar financial situation that you can ask what they did. That will give you the most accurate information.
Other things you want to consider is when you want to do the seuda-what day of the week is your son's actual birthday, and which parsha he will be leining. Quite a few of my friends and family have chosen to do a full seuda friday night, and a small occasion on the actual night of the birthday. If you have a lot of family that isn't local, and you will have to host them over shabbos anyway, it's often easier to combine them both.
But really all plans wouldn't be more than a year in advance. You can make a list of all the things you need to do, and you can ask questions, like if you know which is your ideal hall, you can call and ask how far in advance do you book?

amother

↑ Snowdrop

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 3:34 pm

amother Pewter wrote:

Do you think £6.5k will be enough for a small Simcha in Manchester? I really hope so because we might not have much more!

I think it depends on what you are doing. Catering and a hall will add up very fast. Add in bar mitzva lessons, tefillin, and all the other things also add up very fast.

amother

Impatiens ↓

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 3:34 pm

Depends on the sofer! If you are particular with who you want to get the tefillin from, ask what their waiting list is like. Most sofrim will only accept a limited number of orders per month, and if he is popular you might have to order 1 and half years in advance.

For other things, it is really community/hall specific. Some halls near me dont take bookings more than a year in advance, others will take bookings long in advance. (we booked my sons bar mitzva 2 years ago and he is 10! but only because there was a mess up with the booking for my older sons bar mitzva, so we made sure to book in the next one already)

It's worth thinking about what style/standard you want so you can find out now when things need to be booked. Budget will also make a difference - if you are on a very limited budget you will want to book in the cheaper options whilst they are available. If you have a larger budget you will have more options so can wait till nearer the time.

↑ s1

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 3:35 pm

amother Pewter wrote:

Do you think £6.5k will be enough for a small Simcha in Manchester? I really hope so because we might not have much more!

I think so.
The biggest expenses are tefillin (£1000+) and caterer (£30 a head I think)
Self catering is much much cheaper of course.
Also could you use a house for the kiddish instead of a hall?

amother

↑ Pewter ↓

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 3:35 pm

amother Snowdrop wrote:

I think it depends on what you are doing. Catering and a hall will add up very fast. Add in bar mitzva lessons, tefillin, and all the other things also add up very fast.

My Dh gives the lessons for leining etc.
We're planning to have around 90 people at the seuda, or even less.

amother

↑ Pewter ↓

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 3:37 pm

s1 wrote:

I think so.
The biggest expenses are tefillin (£1000+) and caterer (£30 a head I think)
Self catering is much much cheaper of course.
Also could you use a house for the kiddish instead of a hall?

My fil will pay £500 towards the tefillin iyH. Yes we're using our house for women, and our shul for men for the kiddush.

amother

↑ Impatiens ↓

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 3:40 pm

amother Pewter wrote:

Do you think £6.5k will be enough for a small Simcha in Manchester? I really hope so because we might not have much more!

Depends what you have to include for £6.5k, and how many people. Also depends how much you are willing to do yourself vs get it all catered.

It is definitely possible, but a lot will depend on what is 'standard' in your shul/school, and how much you will want to keep to the 'norm'.

amother

↑ Impatiens ↓

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 3:43 pm

amother Pewter wrote:

My fil will pay £500 towards the tefillin iyH. Yes we're using our house for women, and our shul for men for the kiddush.

Then yes, you should be able to do it for £6.5k.

But will that have to include everyones clothes/hair/makeup etc? cos that can add up quite a bit too.

amother

Stone

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 3:44 pm

amother Pewter wrote:

Do you think £6.5k will be enough for a small Simcha in Manchester? I really hope so because we might not have much more!

Just for the seuda or are you including the teffillin, clothes and the shabbos as well? A seuda, catered for around 100 people cost me £3,500.

amother

↑ Pewter ↓

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 3:48 pm

amother Impatiens wrote:

Then yes, you should be able to do it for £6.5k.

But will that have to include everyones clothes/hair/makeup etc? cos that can add up quite a bit too.

Kind of although I bought quite a few things in the summer sale a few months ago so hopefully I'll be able to use some of that as opposed to buying all new. I have one daughter so yes it'll include her hair (she's 8, so no makeup) but she's just the one. I have a few boys but one just got a new suit, he doesn't need another one. So it'll just be shoes etc. but if they have from the beginning of the season and they're in good condition still then they won't need new.

I don't plan to get a new sheitel, I don't really need one. If I manage to save some of my own money for one then I might. Otherwise no.

And I'm not making a separate Friday night for family. Almost everyone lives here and the one family that would come for Shabbos has brothers here and our husbands siblings.

I'll do a Shabbos lunch in my house for my parents, in laws and out of town family after the kiddush. Egg dip, liver cold cuts, kugel, cholent and ice cream.

amother

↑ Impatiens

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 4:02 pm

amother Pewter wrote:

Sounds good, but you will have to plan carefully to keep to budget. The biggest thing with budgeting is to find and book the cheaper caterers and the halls that work with them. (I recommend Mrs Krausz - her food was delicious, the portions were generous and she was so easygoing and great to work with! - if she will do it when you need. She wont take bookings more than a year in advance, so call her the day before your son turns 12!)

amother

↑ Pewter ↓

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 4:05 pm

amother Impatiens wrote:

Thank you, he's already 12! I need to get on with it all. Does she organise tablecloths, set up etc as well? I've not heard of people using her more recently.

I was trying to get hold of wreshner before I book the hall that we want but I couldn't get hold of him, and then it all just slipped my mind because of y't etc.