Shaitel-snood issues

Chayalle

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 8:52 am

amother OP wrote:

I don’t wear my wig for meals… I wear the same snood I always wear but I do put on makeup so I thought I looked good until recently.

Maybe wearing a wig for meals would make your husband happy....and wear a snood/tichel the rest of the time.
DH would love if I always wore a wig (nothing to do with Lakewood - he happens to like the dressy look) but I'm human Smile

and I can't be in a wig all Shabbos. I do try for meals, though....for sure Shabbos day, or if I leave the house. Friday night, sometimes yes, sometimes no, depends how tired I am.....

amother

Yellow

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 9:02 am

It all changed for me when I got a super lightweight lace top wig, and cut my hair shortish. You can not compare! It’s really really comfortable, I forget I’m wearing it. It’s not too long either which is good. Maybe 3 inches past my shoulders? There’s very little hair on it, I think that’s the trick for being comfortable and looking very natural.
It’s more comfortable than a snood. My hair is always coming out and it’s always slipping back. I’m always self consciously fixing and
Adjusting it.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 9:15 am

I see wearing something for meals seems to be important.
Not sure how I didn’t really pick up on this for so many years… maybe because I don’t have any sisters and my mother never dressed up much for meals only if she was going out.

I do sometimes wear a shaitel if we’re having guests but really depends who the guests are. Majority of the weeks I’m in my snood.

It kind of feels out of place to dress up with wig when I’m serving and cleaning up (yes, my kids are older but that’s a separate issue why they hardly help). So much more comfortable to work in the kitchen when I’m comfortable.

A few weeks ago there was a commotion on my block on Friday night. All the women came outside to check it out and I noticed that everyone was wearing a shaitel. I was uncomfortable joining them in my snood.
And since it seems to bother my husband I see that it’s time for change.

I always thought that since I’m freshly made up on Friday night and wearing something for shabbos, I looked good.
Is there any other type of head covering aside for wig, sparkly snood or pretied that is considered acceptable?

Thanks for all the advice.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 9:16 am

amother Yellow wrote:

Which company wig?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 10:30 am

flowerside wrote:

A bobo is the „pillow“ that you wear under your scarf.
It gives you a nice shape and it looks more put together. It has a velvet band in the front and a little pillow in the back. It’s really comfortable.

Pillow? I’m clueless. Can you show me a picture of this?

amother

↑ Oatmeal

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 10:34 am

flowerside wrote:

Are you Sephardi? I don’t think wearing this is common in the litvish community.

amother

↑ Brass

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 10:35 am

flowerside wrote:

I don’t think this is common in the yeshivish Lakewood community.

amother

↑ Cappuccino

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 10:51 am

amother Rose wrote:

I’m also short so I knot the pretied tails. It makes it shorter
Definitely get some with a velvet grip.
Tie ur knot has pretty ones https://thetieurknot.com/

Also if you want to be more comfortable in your wig you can tie it back or wear it in a pony/bun

Myself Lingerie carries the TUK. That's what I wear as well.

↑ kenz

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 10:58 am

amother Lightpink wrote:

My bad! That was the original episode I got from my friend to help with my son and then they did one with sheitels. This is the one: https://www.franciskakosman.co.....mann. Start at minute 14. (The first half is with Dini wigs). Good luck!

Reposting to be clearer bc I quoted the response:

Can you possibly summarize the tips? I listened (skimming) for them here and I don’t hear anything about wigs, just a lot of sensory talk but nothing wig-specific.

amother

Dandelion

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 11:03 am

amother OP wrote:

I’m specifically posting this in the Lakewood forum because there’s a certain accepted way of dress here.

I wear a shaitel whenever I go out. The minute I come home, I switch to a snood. I’m very uncomfortable doing housework/cooking in my shaitel. I’m sensory in a way I guess.

My problem is on shabbos. I hate wearing a shaitel in the house. I’ve noticed that these days my neighbors are wearing their Shaitels all shabbos. My husband mentioned that my snood is not very shabbosdik so now I really don’t feel good wearing it even though I’m so comfortable when I’m in my snood.
It’s not just in the house. It’s also going outside right in front of my house and possibly seeing neighbors who all look put together in a shaitel.

What are my options? Is there a super comfortable wig that you almost don’t feel like you’re wearing anything? Maybe a dressier tichel type?

Open to suggestions so I can look more put together and shabbosdik but still feel comfortable.

Problem is with your husbands perception of Shabbosdik. Would a new snood in a Shabbosdik colors help (cream and gold, black and silver)? Or try a pretty new pre-tied and keep it only for Shabbos. You can shorten the ends if you want. I also find the pretieds slip off, by the way.
You dont have to wear a Shaitel all Shabbos, if you dont want to.

oohlala

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 11:35 am

I am so glad I dont live in your neighborhood. I get dressed for shul and after lunch I’m in my robe and tichel unless I go for a walk or take a kid to a friend. Friday night it’s robe and tichel all the way, I’m just too tired.

amother

Puce ↓

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 11:39 am

OP I'm in the exact situation, DH has said the same to me. I have a nice scarf Israeli style I use for Shabbos meals with a slip band from AliExpress under.
I used until now a silk pretied which was really nice, now I want to get one that matches my dresses.
In the morning whilst preparing the meal or settling the kids he is fine that I'm in the snood. Just for the meals he likes that I look more put together than what I'm wearing everyday whilst doing housework etc.
I totally understand him.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 12:39 pm

amother Puce wrote:

Can you show me what a slip band looks like?

amother

Apricot ↓

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 12:40 pm

I live in Lakewood, not sefardi, wear tichels at all times.
Yes, to simchas too.
And get plenty of compliments.

Just get good tichels and don’t tie them like a shmatteh. And they should match your clothes.

You’d be surprised how many comments I got over the years from all types of women saying they wished they could wear a tichel but …fill in any weird non-reason or fear you can think of…

I started offering free tichel styling advice recently; with an opportunity to figure out your style, colors etc, match your clothes and then I order the tichels for you.

amother

↑ OP

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 12:41 pm

amother Apricot wrote:

Where do you order from?

amother

↑ Apricot ↓

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 12:54 pm

amother OP wrote:

Where do you order from?

Different places wholesale
I have around 200-250 different pieces at home to choose from; some I keep doubles but most single pieces, so they’re all different types and colors. And a huge selection.