Shaitel-snood issues

amother

OP ↓

Sat, Nov 02 2024, 11:31 pm

I’m specifically posting this in the Lakewood forum because there’s a certain accepted way of dress here.

I wear a shaitel whenever I go out. The minute I come home, I switch to a snood. I’m very uncomfortable doing housework/cooking in my shaitel. I’m sensory in a way I guess.

My problem is on shabbos. I hate wearing a shaitel in the house. I’ve noticed that these days my neighbors are wearing their Shaitels all shabbos. My husband mentioned that my snood is not very shabbosdik so now I really don’t feel good wearing it even though I’m so comfortable when I’m in my snood.
It’s not just in the house. It’s also going outside right in front of my house and possibly seeing neighbors who all look put together in a shaitel.

What are my options? Is there a super comfortable wig that you almost don’t feel like you’re wearing anything? Maybe a dressier tichel type?

Open to suggestions so I can look more put together and shabbosdik but still feel comfortable.

amother

Yarrow

Sat, Nov 02 2024, 11:38 pm

Yes get a nice pretied. if you save it for shabbos and you’re fully dressed with nice earrings you’ll feel very shabbosdik and comfortable . And your neighbors might even be jealous lol

amother

Oatmeal ↓

Sat, Nov 02 2024, 11:48 pm

I think a pretied tichel is socially acceptable as everyone is saying above. I also am very bothered by wearing a sheitel so I usually wear a pretied.

I’ve seen a few people wearing a fall with a dressier headband or beanie but that might be a more modern thing? Falls are more comfortable than full sheitels to me.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sat, Nov 02 2024, 11:53 pm

It’s interesting a pre tied is considered dressier…
I have 2 issues with pre tieds-

One is that they always slip off of me and the other is that I’m very short and the long tails look funny on me. Years ago short tailed pre tieds were in style and they looked good on me but now I only see long tails.

amother

Floralwhite

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 12:05 am

amother OP wrote:

Ohhh is this why the tails are always so long on me?? Because I’m short?? I was just trying to figure this out today. I end up having to tie it which it makes it looks weird.

The pre ties with the built in velvet grip tend to work for me though in terms of slippage

amother

Brass ↓

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 12:09 am

The ones with the velvet piece in front stay on well. I’m short and I feel like the long tails make me feel taller.

Either way any type of snood is shabbosdik enough you don’t have to wear a sheitel all shabbos.

amother

Natural

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 12:45 am

I wear a chenille snood with sparkles on it. I even wear it to the park on my corner. There are some ppl in the park in snoods and some on shaitel.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 7:20 am

flowerside wrote:

Wear a mitpachat with a small „bobo“. U can get the bobo at „the little tichel lady“ online. Very comfortable and looks great.

What’s a bobo?

amother

Rose

Yesterday at 7:27 am

I’m also short so I knot the pretied tails. It makes it shorter
Definitely get some with a velvet grip.
Tie ur knot has pretty ones https://thetieurknot.com/

Also if you want to be more comfortable in your wig you can tie it back or wear it in a pony/bun

amother

Lemon ↓

Yesterday at 7:29 am

OP, I live in Lakewood. I know what you mean.
About 80% of neighbors wear wigs all shabbos afternoon, but mine comes off for my nap & stays off until after shabbos.

I buy pretieds at scarf bar & hv one just for shabbos. I'm under 5,2, but I tie in the back once so the tails are a bit shorter.

Sometimes I used to feel uncomfortable, but I also get headaches & never wear a wig all day at home. I've yet to find one really comfortable (plus I wear it for my husband, if noones home, I don't care abt headware, myself). So I stopped caring. It's my block, not a store.

amother

Lightpink ↓

Yesterday at 7:39 am

Op - I live in Lakewood too. Totally relate!

Like the others suggested, I started wearing preties and I actually see a trend of my friends doing the same. You’re not the only one. ❤️ (tell your husband also.)

Also, my friend shared with me a podcast episode that had tips on helping me be comfortable with having a sheitel on and the tips really do help. https://www.franciskakosman.co.....tmann Hope it helps you too.

amother

NeonBlue

Yesterday at 7:41 am

I live in Lakewood

When I’m OOT for Shabbos I wear a fall with a nicer headband but in Lakewood I wear my wig for the seuda and after that it comes off and I wear a tichel that I tie myself. Together with a nice maxi dress and my Shabbos jewelry I look shabbosdig.

The difference is my dh likes that look and never said anything to me about wearing a wig the whole day.

Most of my neighbors do wear wigs outside even in hot 90 degree weather but I do not get it.

amother

Khaki

Yesterday at 7:43 am

Lord. I’m glad I don’t live where you do.
I wear a tichel all week unless I’m on a date with my husband, at work, or at a shabbos seuda with guests. Rarely, I’ll wear on on a family trip if I think there will be pics.

Maybe 5% of people around me wear wigs the whole shabbos. And mostly women above 45 who can’t “rely” on their face for beauty.

amother

Orange

Yesterday at 7:44 am

There are more comfortable wigs..but much more expensive. The higher end wigs with less processed hair are lighter. (Israeli Michal, zissi premium or z line)
Think closer to 4k

Irene just made a new line- called "level" which has a natural wave look that is super lightweight and was $2300 in my length... Few inches past shoulder. Maybe worth it for you to try if you go for that look.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 7:55 am

amother Lemon wrote:

It’s interesting because I remember that years ago it was normal for ladies to be in shabbos robes and snoods. Some ladies put on Shaitels for Friday night but by shabbos morning most were wearing snoods at home.

I guess I will start looking at pretieds. I do wish the short tails would be a thing. I wore them about 15 years ago and felt comfortable.

amother

↑ Brass ↓

Yesterday at 7:57 am

In my area in Lakewood 80% wear a snood/ tichel shabbos afternoon. If I felt as pressured as you to be uncomfortable just because of my neighbors I’d move. My motto in life is none of those people will be there to pick me up when I’m not feeling well after trying to follow their trends, therefore I will put myself and my needs before any trend.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 7:59 am

amother Orange wrote:

Ha! I have a Michal!
Maybe it’s not just the feeling of the wig on my head. I think it’s also the feeling of the hair on my neck.
I used to say that it’s because I was busy with my little kids and it wasn’t practical for me to wear a wig on shabbos but now my kids are older and I realize that it’s mostly sensory.