Babysitter showing my baby TV!!!!

amother

↑ Electricblue ↓

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 10:45 pm

amother Burntblack wrote:

A baby nurse is a woman from a different country that is here on a 6 month visa. Please don’t be jealous. I would never trust my kid alone with one of them.

My nurse was a woman who enjoyed doing this for over 20 years. I had another who was a part time real nurse a few hours a week with special needs kids and then was a baby nurse on the side bc she loves babies and helping families. They aren't all what you describe.

amother

↑ Electricblue

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 10:48 pm

amother Leaf wrote:

Yep. The toddler is buckled in the stroller while the nanny sits on her phone. Occasionally she looked up and offered another bite. Then yelled NO when kid refused it. Poor little kid just wanted to be unbuckled and run around.

Yeah I don't get it..why don't they let the kids run around?

amother

Green

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 11:08 pm

Sorry. Unpopular opinion. She put a phone in front of your baby to finish the laundry that she needs to do…BIG DEAL. she’s kind? She’s loving? She’s not doing anything harmful or dangerous. Tell her you don’t like that. But to go saying you feel like a bad mother for missing that?! Seriously?! What about moms who dump babies at daycares with frum Morah’s and 50 kids under 2 in a cramped room with no ventilation and sleeping babies in car seats?!?

amother

↑ Copper

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 11:14 pm

amother Burntblack wrote:

I live next door to a popular park. You have no idea what the sitters and the “nurses” that care for twins do there with the kids. It pains me immensely to see.

Are we neighbors?? Cool

amother

Daphne

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 11:24 pm

amother Green wrote:

This.
It's not a big deal.
Definitely get cameras. No good reason not to have them. You can think of a smart way to tell her about them.
As far as the screen time goes, if you're expecting her to clean as well as watch your baby, you have to be reasonable. If she has chores in addition to watching the baby, sometimes still neglect the baby for the chores. That's her job.

Teacher_EW

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 11:39 pm

I would discuss it with her, but more from a developmental perspective and not a hashkafic one. I would tell her that research shows that cognitive development is harmed by exposure to screens before 2 years old. And it isn't healthy in general for any kids...I would calmly but firmly explain that this is why your family has a screen free policy.

amother

↑ Bottlebrush

Thu, Oct 31 2024, 12:40 am

amother OP wrote:

Thank you everyone!! I’m going to look into cameras. Regarding kashrus, she doesn’t touch anything in the kitchen. Can anyone recommend cameras to get??

Also just want to clarify I wasn’t saying that I feel like a bad mother that my child saw a screen… I don’t think you’re a bad parent if you show your kids screens. Just feel like a bad mother that I left my child with someone like this 😞

You can't know if she's in the kitchen if you're not there. And even if she's not in the kitchen, it doesn't change anything halacha wise. Leaving a non jew in the house unsupervised or without cameras, may automatically render your kitchen treif. It's very important that you discuss this with a Rav.

amother

↑ Linen

Thu, Oct 31 2024, 12:53 am

Teacher_EW wrote:

Which perspective shouldn't matter. Caregivers should respect how you want things done regardless of your reasoning.

amother

Apple

Thu, Oct 31 2024, 1:07 am

A lot of people have non Jewish nannies, I’ve never heard of a Jewish woman working in someone’s home like that. I would emphasize to her that you prefer no screens it’s more important than getting cleaning and laundry done, as long as that’s true.

LovesHashem

Thu, Oct 31 2024, 1:09 am

amother Green wrote:

I disagree. She explicitly did something you she knew OP wouldn't be happy about.

What else is she doing? How can you trust someone like that?

readreread

Thu, Oct 31 2024, 3:28 pm

I would be upset, for sure. Not enough to fire her if she is otherwise good with my child and takes good care of them, but definitely would have a conversation with her about expectations.