Breast buds or just chubby?

amother

OP ↓

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 4:11 pm

I have the sweetest 8 year old dd. She’s always been on the chubby side. How do I know if she’s developing breast buds vs she’s just chubby?

According to Google the tissue feels different, but I don’t think I can just try and touch!

When do I get her a training bra?? Her older sister is completely flat, so it may be difficult for her…I tried getting both girls undershirts, whatever was highly rated on Amazon. They were boxy and pretty much useless… maybe someone has something better to recommend?

I’m freaking out just a bit because we’ve never dealt with this before, and she definitely isn’t mature enough to manage puberty yet. And it will be hard on both my girls if the younger one matures before the older one!

amother

Apricot

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 4:17 pm

I just got these for DD
VeaRin girls tank top cami undershirts
From Amazon.
They are amazing, provide an extra layer of coverage on top.
Read the review cuz my daughter is on the thinner side so idk if it’s cut wide enough

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 4:27 pm

amother Holly wrote:

The pediatrician should be checking at her yearly appointment. These are great and have a built in shelf great for coverage of breast buds. https://www.gap.com/browse/pro.....22012

Her most recent appointment was end of the summer. The pediatrician said she gained more weight than usual, so I asked if it seemed like she was starting puberty. He said it would be more weight than this and she didn’t look like she was developing yet. But he didn’t check her chest specifically, more just what he noticed during her regular vitals and basic checking.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 4:30 pm

amother Apricot wrote:

How did they run length wise? I’m wondering if I get her a large will it be too big! The other type I got from Amazon was size medium and way too wide (they were Hanes or fruit of the loom, idr which). I feel like I would sooner buy from Amazon than gap, because returns are easier.

And thank you to all who are replying! It’s scary to start a new stage, especially because this feels out of order and she is so young and not ready for this!

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 5:02 pm

oneofakind wrote:

First of all, relax.
Things don't happen overnight. She may or may not hit puberty before her sister and either way it's ok and will happen at the right time for her.

I know…this child is just the sweetest but also very incapable from a straight skills perspective - she’s been receiving all the therapies for years. She’s struggled so much with basic hygiene after the bathroom…I just can’t imagine how she will manage a period. I know it’s not imminent, but I hoped she would have until at least 7th/8th grade to get more capable! Now it’s looking likely that she will be on the younger end, like 5th grade.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 5:07 pm

amother Holly wrote:

You can go to an endo it’s still within precocious puberty technically and you can discuss your options, if it is actual puberty.

Really? According to Google it’s usually ages 8-12. She’s on the early end, but not actually early.

Also, idk if it’s actual mature breast tissue vs just fat distribution since she’s a heavier kid. How to differentiate without actually touching her is where I’m lost!

amother

Honeysuckle

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 5:10 pm

It could totally be extra fat.

I was sure my plus size dd was developing breast buds at 9 and freaked out she'd be super early. The pediatrician was able to tell in a second that it was just chub she kind of just ran her hands over it nonchalantly and said totally not buds after dd left the room. She's 13 now and still hasn't gotten a period.

amother

↑ Holly ↓

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 5:11 pm

amother OP wrote:

You can touch your child to see what it is, so can a doctor. Just discuss that you are checking something. I just dealt with precocious puberty they treat it until 9 depending on the situation. Even though it can start then it’s not good for some kids for a long list of reasons so if necessary it’s treated. That’s why I’m saying in your situation you might want to discuss it.

amother

Maple ↓

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 5:16 pm

amother Holly wrote:

Please don't feel your daughter's chest to check. That's really invasive and unnecessary. You don't need to explain all of puberty but you can explain breast buds to her and she can check on her own of she wants to.

amother

↑ Holly ↓

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 5:18 pm

amother Maple wrote:

It absolutely not invasive. Most 8 year olds are fine running around naked. A mother or doctor can and should be involved in their child’s development. A child cannot feel and tell you. Please don’t teach your kids to feel shame and embarrassment about a mother touching them, that’s not smart or safe.

amother

DarkViolet

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 5:31 pm

When my daughter was young and chubby, I was also concerned about breast buds. They grew bigger for a while, and I was really nervous about early puberty. As she got older and naturally slimmed down with puberty, she evened out all over. She got her period at 13.

amother

↑ Maple ↓

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 6:31 pm

amother Holly wrote:

Really, your 8 year old daughter runs around naked still? I would not say that's
normal for most girls that age.

She could be approaching puberty and you want to feel her breasts? Give your daugherer some privacy!

My mother did tell me to expect some changes, and yes you can very much feel on your own body when they are there.

What is not safe about respecting your daughter enough to give her privacy and not making her get naked and be touched unnecessarily? No one said you can never touch your daughter but no, you don't get to feel her breasts just because you're curious if she started puberty. She can get examined by a doctor if she needs to.

amother

↑ Holly

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 6:38 pm

amother Maple wrote:

My kids have zero issues with me touching them. They ask for help in more invasive ways. I’m the safe person in their lives I’m their mother. If they don’t feel comfortable with us touching them then you did something wrong. Everyone needs someone they trust. Of course you can check if they started puberty, an 8 year old feels no shame about breast buds. It’s no different to them than you touching her ankle or elbow. Please stop causing problems for your children, you will give them body issues.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 6:39 pm

amother Maple wrote:

I agree with this. My daughter absolutely doesn’t run around naked, and body privacy and safety is very much a discussion in our home.

I wonder if when discussing puberty I can mention that it will start to feel more firm/hard by her breast and that means she’s starting to develop, and she can let me know when that happens if she feels comfortable. What do you think?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 6:57 pm

amother Holly wrote:

Yes to a point. If her private parts are bothering her, or she needs help in the shower or with her underwear, etc I’m the one she asks. But the difference is this would be me initiating the touch, as opposed to her asking for assistance. If she came and said there’s some weird bump on my breast, you bet I’m touching. This is not the same situation at all in my mind.

amother

↑ Maple

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 6:58 pm

amother OP wrote:

That sounds like a sensible approach. You might tell her it feels like a flat disc so she onows more what to expect.