What to give a friend that's

amother

OP ↓

Mon, Oct 28 2024, 7:13 pm

Going through a divorce? Something nice and meaningful

amother

Bone ↓

Mon, Oct 28 2024, 7:16 pm

siddur

amother

Azalea

Mon, Oct 28 2024, 7:22 pm

amother Bone wrote:

siddur

Oh please don’t unless you know for sure that she’s a very spiritual person
I would send maybe breakfast or lunch at home
Or offer to take her out for coffee if she’s the type to open up to you she might need to talk to someone
Or you can do a care package like a wearable blanket fuzzy slippers spa day

ImmaBubby

Mon, Oct 28 2024, 7:31 pm

Fuzzy blanket
Cozy slippers

amother

Garnet

Mon, Oct 28 2024, 7:32 pm

Breakfast or lunch is nice
Support and day to day help is best

amother

Hunter

Mon, Oct 28 2024, 7:36 pm

I got my friend a beautiful wrap please no siddur

amother

↑ Bone

Mon, Oct 28 2024, 7:37 pm

a room diffuser

singleagain ↓

Mon, Oct 28 2024, 7:44 pm

Please tell me there is more to your friend than the fact that she is getting a divorce. When I was getting divorced the friend who sat on my bed and watched me play Angry Birds is the friend that I appreciated the most.

So please think about your friend. Think about your relationship with her. Come up with something that will be meaningful to her.

amother

Burgundy

Mon, Oct 28 2024, 7:48 pm

Pajama set and fuzzy slippers. Starbucks gift card. Nail salon gift card

amother

Aconite

Mon, Oct 28 2024, 7:54 pm

A gift certificate to a spa
A nice brunch
A gift certificate to a store she likes to shop in

It all depends on what your friend likes, the point is to get something that she will appreciate and feel cared for.

amother

Slateblue ↓

Mon, Oct 28 2024, 8:45 pm

As a divorcee I think all the ideas mentioned (with the exception of the siddur) would be so appreciated. Good for you for sending something!

amother

Dandelion

Mon, Oct 28 2024, 8:50 pm

singleagain wrote:

I’m sorry for your experience, but OP obviously cares about her friend. She wants to get her something to show she cares because she’s going through a hard time. That’s a normal response to a friend’s hardship.
Personally, gifts are my love language and I would appreciate anything someone gave me

amother

Hawthorn

Mon, Oct 28 2024, 8:50 pm

Take her out for a nice dinner.
Gift certificate for a massage
Something personal like Uggs slippers or perfume.
A nice throw blanket.

↑ singleagain ↓

Mon, Oct 28 2024, 9:11 pm

amother Dandelion wrote:

First of all, I've been divorced over 10 years. Secondly, I'm not sure why you think I'm disagreeing with anything. I'm just saying be very careful to consider something that the friend will appreciate. Gifts are my love language too but if you gave me a random gift with no thought into what kind of person I am. I wouldn't appreciate it at all.

Last year a friend wanted to get me a gift and asked what I would like and I totally joked with her that she should get me a one of if two specific Lego sets. She got me both. And I was so touched.

But I don't see anyone on this list saying to get her friend a Lego, but that was the best gift anyone could have ever gotten me

All I say and I say this all the time on all sorts of gift threads is that there is a lot more to the person than whatever description you give. Her friend is more than someone who is getting divorced. She knows her friend best. I am simply telling her to think about that relationship to think about that friend and think of something that that friend will appreciate.

Also, sometimes gifts don't have to be tangible. The fact that my friend spent that time with me even though I was not really engaging with her but instead playing my stupid game and explaining it to her. And this was 10 years ago when it was in beta version so there really wasn't a lot of excitement to the game again. That gift of the time that she spent with me was incredibly meaningful.

Gifts are one of my passions and biggest pet peeves on this website because of how people suggest such generic things.

amother

Nutmeg ↓

Mon, Oct 28 2024, 11:32 pm

OP, you are so thoughtful! And Singleagain: you got me thinking...

So, how about a book of vouchers for things tailored to her, and the gift of your time eg "This voucher is valid for a phonecall between 10pm and 7am", " This voucher is valid for coffee and cake anywhere you choose" "This voucher is valid for a home-cooked meal"?

It doesn't have to cost much, but it shows that you're there for her at difficult moments...

emee2

Mon, Oct 28 2024, 11:58 pm

I love soup and a friend of mine got me a giftcard for a takeout place near me that has my favorite soup. It was one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten!

amother

↑ Nutmeg ↓

Tue, Oct 29 2024, 12:11 am

amother Bone wrote:

siddur

What's beautiful is that this would be meaningful for you! Which just goes to show that we all like different things x

amother

Canary

Tue, Oct 29 2024, 12:30 am

amother OP wrote:

Going through a divorce? Something nice and meaningful

nothing. Trust me a woman going through devorce doesn't need gifts. Needs friends. Perhaps Shabbos invitations (some yes, some would be mortified, so make sure u know ur friend)
Gifts for what? Mazel tov on ur devorce?!
It's not a chasene
it's not a baby
it's something sad, that needed to be done.

If you are a close friend make sure she knows u are available for any help.
Most needed are babysiting, and suppers (make sure ur offer doesn't come of as "oy nebach divorced, let me do some chessed)
U can give a phone call (not whatsup or text) and tell her u are there if anything needed.

DON'T EVER ASK FOR DETAILS OR TRY TO FIX THEIR MARRIAGE IT IS CALLED MEDDELING!

amother

↑ Nutmeg

Tue, Oct 29 2024, 12:38 am

amother Canary wrote:

I'm sorry for your pain 🫂

Gifts aren't always a celebration. Sometimes they're a comfort. Lo aleinu, when someone is sick, or bereaved. We give food and other things to show we love, support and care x

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Oct 29 2024, 7:07 am

I don't live near her so unfortunately I can't go out with her, cook for her etc. She knows I'm always available by phone. I would still like to send something from afar.