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Should I tell the mother?



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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Oct 28 2024, 10:32 pm
My son, age 7, has a new boy in his class. His parents recently divorced. He is an only child, and it seems that his mother has sole custody.

My son and this boy have become friendly. His mother has been asking me if her son can come over after school, since she works and is unable to pick him up by dismissal.

Because I know how hard things are for her, I have been happy to help her by having her son come over one or two days a week. She has been very grateful, saying how important it is for him to be a part of a family situation. He is not a bad kid, but he isn't the easiest, and I think that is understandable.

Today, she asked if her son can come over, and I said sure. Later she asked if he can sleep over, since she is in middle of moving apartments and it would be too hard for her to have him underfoot. I agreed.

The kids went to bed at 8 but, 2 hours later they were still horsing around. I had those 2 kids in the room, plus my 4 year old. I finally separated the kids into different rooms.
And that's when my 4 year old told me that the boy pulled down his pants.

I confronted him and asked him if it's true. He said yes, but he said my son also did it. But both my 4 year old and my 7 year old denied it, and said it was only the other kid.

I still rebuked my son very sternly for allowing his friend to do that. I told both kids very sternly that we do not do that in this house and it's very inappropriate.
I put them all to sleep in different rooms.

My question is if I should tell his mother what happened. I feel very sorry for her, as I know her life is very challenging now. I don't know how normal this kind of behavior is.
Thoughts?
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rose613




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 28 2024, 10:33 pm
You should tell her not in a judgey way, just like fyi this happened. It may be normal but if it was your kid wouldn’t you want to know?
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amother
Dimgray


 

Post Mon, Oct 28 2024, 10:36 pm
Absolutely she needs to know
And hopefully wants to know
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amother
Grape


 

Post Mon, Oct 28 2024, 10:37 pm
I'd tell her she should know
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amother
Ginger


 

Post Mon, Oct 28 2024, 10:38 pm
Maybe tell her that the kids played a game if pulling down their pants, and maybe she can talk to her son about appropriate behavior. Don't single out her child. Just because your kids denied that they did it, it doesn't mean that they're telling the truth.
They're young kids, it's still somewhat age appropriate.
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amother
Dustypink


 

Post Mon, Oct 28 2024, 10:39 pm
He's 7 ! It's age appropriate inappropriate behavior. You reprimanded everyone. Your kids know it was wrong you can bring it up to the in future remind them. You can tell mom in pacing "bed time was put of control. Everyone was horsing around. It got crazy. Apparently he pulled his pants down. It was kookoo I had to separate them"
...chances are it was really just out of control 7 yr old boys
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