When do I tell her? And what do I say? So young!

amother

Fern

Tue, Oct 22 2024, 4:34 pm

amother OP wrote:

Should I speak to my pediatrician or skip that and go straight to an endocrinologist?

Endocrinologist

I talked to my ob/gyn and they said breast buds at 8.5 are „fine“.

I didn’t deal with it till my dd was probably 12 and I took her to an endo to check what’s happening with her height and weight.

Turned out her bone age was older and she matured too quickly to grow much than she was at 12. Endo said it could have been prevented/corrected before period but it’s not an issue per se as her height is within her expected range.
But if you want to influence height, you need to act before they get period.

shabbatiscoming ↓

Tue, Oct 22 2024, 4:38 pm

amother OP wrote:

All these posts about development and periods and when/if to say something have got me thinking. My daughter is 8.5, and she does have little buds. Shes very much NOT mature, and I can’t even fathom her getting her period when she’s 10 right now. Is try at what I’m looking at? Will I have to tell her when she’s 9 and change, and possibly still not mature enough to really understand? How do I know? My other girls I discussed with when older and also more mature. What do I say to a child who might not be mature enough to understand? When do I tell her?

OP, first off, it is 100% normal for girls to start developing already by 8. Anywhere from 8 - 12ish to start. Nothing off about that.
Also, I would already talk to her. You say she is immature, but think of what would happen if she gets her period and you havent talked to her yet about what is happening in her body. Thats even more scary. You can have a discussion now and then each year if she still has not gotten her period, you can talk to her again, in a more mature way than the year before.
I do know that some schools, at a crtain point, have a whole course of devrlopment and part of that is talking to the girls about their periods.

fashion mom ↓

Wed, Oct 23 2024, 1:16 am

I just read through this thread, and as a bra fitter in a local lingerie ship I agree that there are loads of fully developed 4th graders (ages 8/9). PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT IF YOU SEE ANY SIGN OF DEVELOPING MATURITY ON YOUR DD, you are doing her the biggest favor by sharing all info with her , no matter how old she is. My own daugther is 9, and she seems to have been informed about the period by some educated friends. I was planning on having "this conversation" with her on the day she turns 10, since I am not expecting her to get it anytime soon. She is of slight built, not at all developed. I am upset that she heard it from friends before I had a chance to discuss with her, but she is dropping me lots of excited hints, and waiting to actually hear it from me. I just told her that we will IYH have a very mature, womanly conversation one day, but I also explained that some topics are not meant to be discussed with friends. Anything relating to our bodies are private and sensitive.

↑ fashion mom

Wed, Oct 23 2024, 1:18 am

btw, I will never forget the trauma my friend had in seventh grade, when she got her period for the first time in school and she had NO IDEA why is is suddenly bleeding! She was terrified, and all of us had to calm her down and explain that we know its normal. Her mother had not prepared her or mentioned anything altough she was 12 going on 13!!!!

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 23 2024, 1:25 am

Update: I spoke to her a little bit about it tonight. She mentioned something about arm pit hair when she was taking a bath, so I took the opportunity. Obviously I didn’t give her any intense info, just basics. She was totally not ready, but at least the idea is planted.

amother

Chambray

Wed, Oct 23 2024, 9:44 am

amother OP wrote:

If she has 2 signs already please measure her height as if she’s an adult and see if she’s a normal height for that. If not you may still have a very short time to help her

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 23 2024, 9:54 am

amother Chambray wrote:

If she has 2 signs already please measure her height as if she’s an adult and see if she’s a normal height for that. If not you may still have a very short time to help her

I don’t understand. Two signs? Measure her as an adult?

amother

Apple

Wed, Oct 23 2024, 9:57 am

With all the stories about early puberty, and those who were shocked to get their period.
By both my girls at quite a young age I casually mentioned that there comes a time when you can see blood down there, it’s not a problem at all, it happens when you get older, and if it does they should come tell me.

I later at age 11 shared more details about periods, and that it happens monthly etc. but first I didn’t want them to get frightened of they’re pinkt the ones that get it super early.

amother

Daisy

Wed, Oct 23 2024, 10:03 am

Lot's of great advice here.

OP I hope your daughter gets the time to develop maturity and age before getting her period.

This thread has me wondering, how do girls change their pads in school? Back when I was in school I never changed it in school, only when I got home. That means using the same pad for 8 hrs straight. Confused

My 13 year old (ninth grader) does the same. She refuses to take pads along to school because "it's embarrassing". Even walking to the bathroom with a bathroom bag is embarrassing, because it might be obvious that you're carrying the bag because you're on your period.

↑ shabbatiscoming

Wed, Oct 23 2024, 10:17 am

amother Daisy wrote:

First off many girls use tampons. But for those that dont, they either hide in their sleeve or some other place or they just dont care if their classmates see tht they habe their period.
And 8 bours is a LING time not to change your pad.

amother

Molasses

Wed, Oct 23 2024, 10:24 am

amother Daisy wrote:

I’ll be forever grateful to my daughter’s school for having a stock of pads in the older girls bathroom! This way no one has to bring a pad or hide it or be embarrassed. Just take one and no one has to know

amother

Razzmatazz

Wed, Oct 23 2024, 12:33 pm

amother Daisy wrote:

Then she can always carry it, because nobody will think she's on it 24/7.

amother

↑ OP

Wed, Oct 23 2024, 1:47 pm

amother Daisy wrote:

It’s been a while since I’ve been in school, but when I was in HS, I used to keep them in my knapsack. When I needed to change, I would bend down and tuck one into my skirt or put it in my sweatshirt pocket.