Road-trips/driving how do people do it!?

amother

OP ↓

Wed, Oct 23 2024, 12:39 am

How does anyone do it!? Driving a 5 hour drive to my in-laws now and have a 15 month old and a 2 month old screaming in the back! Stopping and trying to calm them down doesn’t help and is just adding time to our trip. It’s stressing me out! Last time we drove we went during the day which was a disaster. This time we tried going right at bedtime so they would fall asleep. They fell asleep but then woke up and are super overtired! And now I’m going to be exhausted tomorrow from such a late night because getting in at 1:30 in the morning so not going to bed before 2. I need to get up with the kids and on my own while DH goes to Daven an extra long davening because of hoshana raba…. Just a bit overwhelmed with it all now!

amother

Fuchsia

Wed, Oct 23 2024, 12:44 am

amother OP wrote:

I have memories from almost 10 years ago of singing the same song for at least a half hour straight to keep my child calm, until eventually they fell asleep. (I think it was "open shut them") And of other times sitting with my hand reaching to the back seat to keep a pacifier in a baby's mouth.
It honestly might be worth it to stop, change their diapers, and squish in the back with them til they fall asleep. And then switch to the front and doze til you get there. Hopefully they'll sleep a little later tomorrow.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 23 2024, 12:47 am

amother Fuchsia wrote:

Yeah, we tried the singing and the music… that didn’t work so we are on to feeding cheerios to my toddler one at a time…😅

amother

Daffodil

Wed, Oct 23 2024, 1:06 am

I nurse the baby most of the way... Unsafe I know but driving with a screaming baby and your nerves are fraying is also very unsafe.

The toddler gets bottles on demand, that usually got them quiet enough for long enough to fall back asleep.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 23 2024, 1:32 am

amother Opal wrote:

OP those are awful ages for road too. You have 2 babies. How do people do it? They stay closer to home when they have 2 babies. Or they all cry together. There’s no magic bullet.

I know, I wish we could stay home so badly but we need to split YT between my parents and in-laws… but it’s validating to hear that it’s a universal problem and not just that I’m doing something wrong

amother

Bubblegum ↓

Wed, Oct 23 2024, 1:35 am

amother Daffodil wrote:

Nooooooooooooooooo.

This is soooooooo dangerous.

If your baby won't sit in the car seat, you can't go on the road trip. Confirm this with your pediatrician and rav before you jeopardize his life.

Hashem yishmor tzeischa u'voecha.

amother

↑ Bubblegum

Wed, Oct 23 2024, 1:38 am

amother OP wrote:

Nope, wrong.

You do not NEED to split yom tov and do the road trip.

If being at your parents/ILs is worth the screaming, you do it. If not, you stay home or only at one set and you don't do it.

Whatever you do, please travel safely.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 23 2024, 1:40 am

amother Bubblegum wrote:

Yeah, I agree. I wouldn’t drive without my babies in the car seat.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 23 2024, 1:47 am

amother Bubblegum wrote:

We live in the same city as my parents so see them often. We don’t go to my in-laws often but 2-3 times a year we do need to go visit otherwise we would never see them. They can’t travel to us for various (legitimate) reasons. As much as I hate it, it’s not fair to DH to never see his family and it’s not fair to in-laws to never see their son and grandchildren.

DrMom ↓

Wed, Oct 23 2024, 1:53 am

Can you break up the drive with a stop on a park along the way? That way they'll get some time to use up some energy and sleep a bit in the car.

My kids always slept in the car, so our challenge was to time the driving so it didn't totally mess up their schedules to the point where they were up all night if we took a long drive.

(But I live in a smaller country where long drives are more rare).

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 23 2024, 2:02 am

DrMom wrote:

I think when they are a little older then the park idea would work, but they are too young for that right now. My older baby just learned to walk a couple of months ago and isn’t really ready to “play” at parks. And we tried taking a break or two during this drive but it just made my toddler more upset when we put him back in the car 😔

↑ DrMom

Wed, Oct 23 2024, 2:17 am

amother OP wrote:

Even if he can't use playground equipment, he can toddle around on some grass, no? And maybe you can unroll a playmat for your infant and let him get some tummy time.

Other ideas:

-Do you have music on in the car? Something your kids enjoy?

- Do they have any car-friendly toys to amuse them? There are toys that strap to the back of the seat so your carseat-confined kids can play without the toys falling on the floor.

amother

Cerulean

Wed, Oct 23 2024, 2:22 am

When my kids were that age, I sat in the back with them. Not perfect, but I was there to soothe, give bottles and sippy cups and pacifiers and snacks, read books, etc. And we did often need to stop at least once, but being able to feed them and see them helped so much.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 23 2024, 8:28 am

amother Vermilion wrote:

I nurse the baby on long drives too, but I just lean over the car seat and nurse. I'd never take the baby out while driving. Better have a longer but safer trip.

This sounds so much safer, just uncomfortable 😉
My little one was fine for a large portion of the trip because she anyway sleeps a big chunk during that time without eating. The problem was my 15 month old who was screaming most of the trip. He was NOT interested in anything. Toys, bottle, singing, music… the only thing that helped a bit was cheerios… now about to face the day with a super cranky mommy and toddler😅

amother

Eggshell

Wed, Oct 23 2024, 10:09 am

amother OP wrote:

Instead of splitting each succos and pesach can you do succos by on and pesach by the other?

But yes, road trips with babies are awful. It works better when they get older

smss

Wed, Oct 23 2024, 10:28 am

amother Vermilion wrote:

I nurse the baby on long drives too, but I just lean over the car seat and nurse. I'd never take the baby out while driving. Better have a longer but safer trip.

Not safe this way either. In the event of a crash c"v that's a tremendous amount of force being applied to the baby.
https://thecarseatlady.com/no-.....ving/