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-> Parenting our children
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amother
OP
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 Sun, Oct 20 2024, 8:56 pm
My four year old daughter has become extremely difficult. Nothing scares her. She doesn’t care about anything me or my husband say or do. She’s extremely anti authority at home. Super impulsive. Hits, trips pinches siblings. Learned how to unlock bedroom doors so she walks in on everyone. Bothers siblings non stop. Cries and kvetches about every single thing. It’s becoming unmanageable. My oldest girl is also tough in her own right so they just feed into each other- she plays victim and the little one drives her crazy constantly.
PS I did bring home a baby a few months ago and displace her. So I assume this sparked the change.
Help!
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tf
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Mon, Oct 21 2024, 1:15 am
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PCIT trained therapists should be able to help you with a step by step process. This doesn't take long but hard work on your part. You'll change the way you interact with her, which will change the way she behaved
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amother
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Tue, Oct 22 2024, 4:49 pm
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Was he sick around the time that he changed? I would suspect pandas.
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AlwaysGrateful
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Tue, Oct 22 2024, 5:00 pm
| amother DarkYellow wrote: | | Was he sick around the time that he changed? I would suspect pandas. |
You're kidding, right? There's a new baby in the house. Why look to PANDAS when there's an obvious answer...
OP, it's hard. So, so hard. All you can do is push through, trying to find ways to give her more attention as much as possible and protect the other kids from her. Yes, I know that this is a time in your life when you don't have the time or energy to do any of this. And yet it has to somehow be done, messily, not as often as you want to, but at least somewhat. And keep reminding yourself that she's hurting right now, and she will still feel jealous even though you are trying so hard. But that in the long run, she will get through this, you will all get through this, and you want to do so with your relationship intact.
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giftedmom
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Tue, Oct 22 2024, 5:09 pm
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Give her lots of love and space and hopefully it passes. At the same time protect your other children. You didn’t displace her, you gave her the gift of a sibling. Your attitude matters.
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amother
Peach
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Tue, Oct 22 2024, 5:14 pm
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Just want to say that it’s very very common for a child to act up exactly as you’ve described after a baby. I had this experience with one girl who needed to be suspended from playgroup due to that type of behavior. Those children are usually more needy and sensitive and are just going through a rough time - it’s not permanent. I would work together with a specialist as necessary.
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amother
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Tue, Oct 22 2024, 5:18 pm
| AlwaysGrateful wrote: | You're kidding, right? There's a new baby in the house. Why look to PANDAS when there's an obvious answer...
OP, it's hard. So, so hard. All you can do is push through, trying to find ways to give her more attention as much as possible and protect the other kids from her. Yes, I know that this is a time in your life when you don't have the time or energy to do any of this. And yet it has to somehow be done, messily, not as often as you want to, but at least somewhat. And keep reminding yourself that she's hurting right now, and she will still feel jealous even though you are trying so hard. But that in the long run, she will get through this, you will all get through this, and you want to do so with your relationship intact. | I know too many parents who missed a pandas onset because they blamed it on a new baby. OP said she had a baby a few months ago. That's quite a while.
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