Yes, I'm aware I have a small family. No need to comment

amother

Whitewash ↓

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 6:53 pm

Someone asked me if I've still got 2 kids, she hadn't seen me for a while. Told her 'hang on, I'll check, speak to you later!' She skedadled out of there so fast...

amother

↑ OP

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 6:55 pm

hodeez wrote:

Who is so stupid to say anything about your family size?

You'd be surprised.

↑ hodeez

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 6:56 pm

I have people ask me why I have so many kids. I think regardless of your family size these comments will come through, unfortunately.

amother

Phlox

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 7:02 pm

The judgy/ finally Type of faces and looks I got today because my youngest is over 5 and I'm heavily pregnant.... not fun. Only 3 people actually made a comment I guess that isn't as bad as last chol hamoed when I wasn't showing yet?

amother

↑ Whitewash

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 7:04 pm

amother Phlox wrote:

The worst critics, the relentless judges are ourselves...

amother

Antiquewhite

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 7:17 pm

I don't know. I like my small family!
This chol hamoed we went to an amusement park my sister went to the day before. her kids got to go on only three rides each. Meanwhile my two went on pretty much as many rides as they wanted. We both ended up paying the same amount but mine were tired and dizzy and happy at the end of the day. while hers were more which ride should I go on. And left feeling like I wish I could go on that ride. So kvetchy and cranky and their memories are less happy.

TwinsMommy

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 8:08 pm

Most people have left us alone as our twins (only children) got older and so did we. The twins are about to be 18 and we're both 50. And a great Rav told us we fulfilled peru urvu with one boy and one girl and we did our best hishtadlus. But we went through many years of infertility treatments so we remember that pain and there's one person in our community who MANY times has said to my husband "you STILL only have 2?"

I want to say to him...... "you're STILL a jerk?"

(ps--- he has plenty of kids but only one gender..... but I would NEVER make a nasty comment about that to him or his wife!)

amother

Banana

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 8:12 pm

Yes Chol hamoed is rough. I feel you op. Bumping into people didn’t see in years and they pregnant with child # 4,5 and they looking at my belly like why you still have only one kid?

amother

Currant

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 8:18 pm

amother Banana wrote:

Yes Chol hamoed is rough. I feel you op. Bumping into people didn’t see in years and they pregnant with child # 4,5 and they looking at my belly like why you still have only one kid? It’s hard being frum.

It’s hard traveling in frum circles.

I erased my cynical comments. No need to feed the darkness.

amother

Hydrangea ↓

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 8:23 pm

amother Whitewash wrote:

Someone asked me if I've still got 2 kids, she hadn't seen me for a while. Told her 'hang on, I'll check, speak to you later!' She skedadled out of there so fast...

Good answer!!

mirelcakes

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 8:29 pm

People say the craziest things. Someone who didn't see my family in a while saw my oldest daughter. She told me, "I see your daughter slimmed down, she was chubby when she was younger". I had no idea what to respond at that moment. Funny thing though, my daughter was always good weight and that person must have mixed up my daughter with someone else. OP, the only thing I say when people don't use their brains is to hope I never hurt someone like that. It doesn't take away your pain and annoyance when people make comments but I always hope that I have the clarity to be careful.

amother

↑ Hydrangea

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 8:31 pm

We have 4 kids while most our family members have double digit size families. Our neighbors have large families too so we are considered a small family. While we are thankful for what we have, personally I feel an ache since there won’t be any more.
My daughter bumped into an old neighbor recently who asked- did your mother ever have another baby? What? No? So you still only have 4 kids?

amother

Navyblue

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 8:33 pm

I also love having a small family! I have three gorgeous, well-behaved boys. I'm at an age where I'm not longer interested in pregnancy/birth, just want to focus on living life. One of my boys asks for more babies all the time (we even currently have 1 under 1!) and I do think he wants a larger family, but it's not right for me, and my husband also feels run down.

amother

Cobalt

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 8:46 pm

amother Whitewash wrote:

The worst critics, the relentless judges are ourselves...

This is 1000% the truth . In my years I’ve been to all sides of the fertility spectrum . BH married almost 18 years . Through it all if we are honest truth is we are our worst critics .

Debbie ↓

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 8:52 pm

OP, I am all to aware of the rude comments
My husband and I have just two children, two wonderful daughters BH.
They are now adults, but the comments/questions I got when they were small ranged from 'Still only the two children?'
To 'Are you going to try again for a boy?' We didn't actually try for girls!
To 'Think of all those neshamos in shamayim waiting to come down ' My husband said that was emotional blackmail.
I was not at all prepared for people to be so personal, I had not realised that our family size was any of their business.

essie14 ↓

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 11:44 pm

amother Hydrangea wrote:

We have 4 kids while most our family members have double digit size families. Our neighbors have large families too so we are considered a small family. While we are thankful for what we have personally I feel an ache since there won’t be any more
My daughter bumped into an old neighbor recently who asked- did your mother ever have another baby? What? No? So you still only have 4 kids?

Every time a thread like this is started I am horrified all over again.
Who asks a child that??????

↑ essie14 ↓

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 11:45 pm

Debbie wrote:

It's absolutely emotional blackmail and a disgusting thing to say to someone.
What is wrong with people?!?!?!

ProudMommie

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 11:52 pm

It took us many years to conceive and have our son BH..when he was maybe 1.5 or 2 years old ..this lady I knew looked into the stroller and said.." wait, is that still the same one I saw last time?" Here is a bracha to all..that we should never be so callous and stupid. Keeping quiet is a great virtue...

Last edited by ProudMommie on Tue, Oct 22 2024, 12:05 am; edited 2 times in total