Pretty surprised | Imamother

amother

OP ↓

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 4:35 pm

I'm hosting 5/6 meals this Yom tov, lots of families, many that I've eaten at before, some new people and not a single person offered to bring anything. I'm quite surprised. When I've asked some of these same people when they hosted me they take me up on my offer and I bring desserts, sides etc whatever they ask me.
I asked my host for the one meal I'm eating out and she asked me if I could bring dessert. Of course I will and I offered with a full heart but isn't it strange that no one asked me?

daredevil

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 4:37 pm

Maybe they are bringing something when they come. Fruit platter/candy platter/wine

amother

DarkYellow

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 4:44 pm

Maybe people are just burnt out from the cooking they have to do in their own homes. It’s a ton of meals. Maybe they’re hosting. Maybe they’re relieved to not have that one meal.

Im home or hosting all the meals. I was invited out to one. I offered to bring something but did it to be polite. I wish I didn’t have to bring anything. I’m working my butt off and I so wish for a break. (I am bringing two dishes).

amother

Aconite ↓

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 4:57 pm

When I host many times ppl bring a wine or candy platter but not really food.

amother

DarkGreen

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 5:06 pm

I think people are sick and tired of cooking at this point. It’s not polite either way.

amother

Mustard

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 5:07 pm

I dont find it strange. When I go to people I either bring a wine, candy platter, some for of store bought desert. I'd expect my guests to bring the same type of thing if they were to bring anything. And honestly if they don't bring anything that's totally fine too.

chestnut

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 5:17 pm

On a bright side, you get invited!
(Sorry, sorry, I know)
As others said, they might bring something to the meal.

amother

Chartreuse

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 5:40 pm

We typically bring wine that’s it

If I have extra time I’ll offer a side, salad or dessert but usually it’s just an offer no one takes us up on it …

amother

Lightyellow

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 5:43 pm

We usually bring a dessert or fun/fancy drink but I don't usually discuss it with the host. I always bring food to my mother that the kids will eat just in case. I do offer to cook for my mother in law when we go there for yt. I dont know the other people but maybe they will show up with dessert or a bottle of wine?

amother

↑ Aconite

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 5:44 pm

I also think it’s cultural.

Like we have a person who was raised very southern. And he has that southern mentality. Like when is a gues he shows up with a whole food package and wouldn’t think otherwise.

Other ppl would think to contribute hone made.

And Other ppl wouldn’t think to bring anything.

amother

Bellflower

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 7:09 pm

I once hosted guest that showed up with literally half the meal (not pre discussed)
They bought tonz of dips, meat, sides
To be honest I was a bit annoyed because I myself prepared loads of food so we rrly had a bit to much. I wish they had told me before so I would have made less!
Im also known to be the type to prepare alot
They didnt bring because they were nervous there wont be food..

amother

Forestgreen

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 7:41 pm

amother Mustard wrote:

Same.
I don't invite ppl to have help.

↑ tichellady

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 7:50 pm

amother Forestgreen wrote:

Same.
I don't invite ppl to have help.

I don’t invite people to have help but it’s the norm in my community for people to offer to bring something. If someone doesn’t, it’s ok, bur I would be surprised if no one offered to bring anything

flowerpower

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 7:52 pm

It’s cultural. If my guest asked what they can bring for the meal I’d ask them to repeat themselves. Never had guest offer anything and I host a lot. They usually bring chocolate or something. Really special of you to host for so many meals!

amother

↑ OP

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 7:54 pm

tichellady wrote:

This. I was surprised no one asked me if there is anything they can bring. This is the norm around here and there same people have taken me up on my offers in the past. Not tit for tat I'm saying it's common knowledge culture here. Maybe I'll get a bunch of candy platters and wine, I'll keep y'all posted.
Probably people are burned out from cooking.

amother

Bronze

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 8:02 pm

I think it’s rude. You’re being hosted and wined and dined, and you don’t have the manners to ask “is there anything I can bring to help?” Rude. And let’s be real. We all know the price of food is crazy. So be gracious!

amother

Raspberry

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 8:04 pm

In my community everyone brings something when they come to a meal.