Please help me help my son

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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

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amother

OP ↓

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 8:57 am

Please help me help my son. I just don't know how. My son is a bright boy, loves to talk and play games etc. He cried endlessly that he does not want to go to school. He is 6 years old. This has been happening for almost two years. any excuse he can find. Im sick, my stomach hurts. If we go to grandparents house please lets stay etc etc. He is also an anxious child. It hurts me to hear no one wants to play with him on the bus card games . He has a long bus ride. My heart aches to hear him say " How can I sit alone all year on the long bus ride. Why no one wants to play with me?" It tears my soul out. The same during school. He seems to be alone until it gets to him. I cant bear it. I dress him well so that specifically should not be a reason even though it is pathetically sad that at this young age his peers notice. I guess what I am looking for a 1- ANY advice 2-Someone recommended Floor time therapy with moishy kellerman, in my limited knowledge I thought that floor time is for autistic children which he is baruch hashem not 2- I am DESPERATELY seeking some one skilled and licensed to come observe him from the bus route and in class to evaluate the situation. Some one with that Chush and experience and degree. We are new in the area so any info for monsey area would be appreciated. Thank you

amother

Raspberry

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 10:29 am

I was like this in first grade. My parents took me to a licensed child psychologist, made a big difference. Please please please take your child for help! (I'm not in your area, sorry I don't have anyone to recommend)

Also, have you tried talking to the bus driver? Parents of other kids who ride the bus? The teachers? The principal? School counselor? Other teachers? School nurse? Lunch monitors? Talk to anyone and everyone who may come into contact with your child during the day, or who has kids who might be able to tell their parents what is happening that would be helpful for you.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 4:52 pm

Bumping up for evening crowd I am sure there are some child evaluators here. I am really in need of advice and also dont know any one in our new neighborhood of monsey.

amother

Emerald

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 5:04 pm

The thing with social anxiety is that it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

I doubt kids are noticing his clothes. It sounds like the anxiety is a big piece.

Anxiety can also be a cause of school refusal. He might not be able to articulate it, but it could be separation anxiety.

amother

Green

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 5:05 pm

I think that getting someone skilled to observe and evaluate it a really important and smart first step. I would definitely recommend doing that.

Floortime is not only for autistic children at all.

amother

Mustard ↓

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 5:13 pm

Floortime sounds like a good way to go. (Full disclosure) I am a floortime therapist. Floortime is for everyone. It was actually originally created by Dr greenspan for children from low income families and had nothing to do with special education.
Eta floortime when done well includes the family so that you can practice skills with your child.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 5:55 pm

amother Green wrote:

I think that getting someone skilled to observe and evaluate it a really important and smart first step. I would definitely recommend doing that.

Floortime is not only for autistic children at all.

Do you know any one in the monsey area? I am ready to pay what is needed. Myheart is torn out every single night with him crying out saying literally, " Help me help me." He is so wonderful and smart and out of all my children the one I enjoy being with the most. How does he struggle like this. I just dont understand.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 5:55 pm

amother Mustard wrote:

Thank you for your response. I tried looking on You tube for a sample session of what a floor time therapist would do for him. Would you share your thoughts briefly?

amother

Mintgreen

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 6:02 pm

Ask the school for a referral is there a school psychologist

amother

↑ OP

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 6:52 pm

amother Mintgreen wrote:

Ask the school for a referral is there a school psychologist

The school is still newish. You have to outsource this type of help.

amother

Viola

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 6:59 pm

Did you try to invite classmates to your home to try encourage friendship
And you can observe
Have you asked his teacher?
Does he try initiate
Is he being bullied

amother

Salmon

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 7:03 pm

There are OTs who can really help a child w anxiety, especially those who practice MRNI. I don't know Monsey tho.

amother

↑ Mustard

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 7:08 pm

amother OP wrote:

Moishe mann is an msw trained in floortime. Mendy Klein I think his name is has a clinic.

Coffee beanz

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 7:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thank you for your response. I tried looking on You tube for a sample session of what a floor time therapist would do for him. Would you share your thoughts briefly?

I'm amother mustard. Feel free to pm me. Floortime is about building skills through a strong relationship and your child's strengths. Sessions are for the most part child led where you follow your child's lead to build skills and confidence.
A good floortime therapist will be able to identify core skills that need to be worked on as well as what role your child's sensory needs are playing. Then they should be guiding you on How to help at home by practicing with you relatives, neighbors or playdates etc.

Icdl.com is a good resource. They have a youtube channel but I'm not sure how applicable the videos are without context. There is also an icdl directory where you can find floortime providers in your area.

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