If I had the money I’d give it to SAHM

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 9:41 pm

amother Lavender wrote:

Not to generalize since there are always exceptions.

However, unless the husband is an extremely high earner, most families living on one "normal" income will probably qualify for government and other assistance.

It is generally families in the middle with two working parents who make too much to qualify for existence and have high health insurance and often high food costs (depending on family size and age of course)

Ok but even so they can still be struggling I was there and I went to work but I so wish I was able to sahm when I was raising my kids. So I want to make that available for other people of Hashem blesses me with wealth

amother

Petunia ↓

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 9:47 pm

amother Outerspace wrote:

Op, I agree with you. I wish I could start an organization that supports SAHM financially. It’s a big deal.

What would be the criteria? Just being a SAHM? Would you support ppl that stop working in order to be a SAHM now that you will support them? You will be over you head with requests. lol

Lots of ppl wish they didn't need to.work.

amother

↑ Sage ↓

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 9:53 pm

amother Jasmine wrote:

Op I couldn't agree with you more . Just today on the tuition thread someone suggested sahms should watch everyone else's kids when schools are closed. Banging head

She said it in the context of a way to give back to the working moms who are probably subsidizing her tuition. Not so crazy if you think of it. Mom A stays home and gets reduced tuition. Mom B works full time and pays full tuition which covers some of other students tuition. When school is off and Mom B needs to work, wouldn't it be nice if Mom A would offer to help Mom B out?

amother

↑ Sage

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 9:54 pm

amother OP wrote:

I’ve definitely seen it first hand on multiple threads. Not sure I can dig them up or can remember the names of the threads I will search when I have time

I don't think sahm are lazy I think they have it easier than working moms who do everything a sahm does plus work. And yes it is a luxury not to work in today's day.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 11:03 pm

amother Petunia wrote:

I’m not sure exactly, haven’t really thought it all out quite yet. some sort of vetting that they are struggling financially. Yes absolutely would support moms who stop working! I know I will be in over my head lol. I am hoping I have so much money I don’t know what to do with lol. But seriously the idea needs to be ironed out

notshanarishona

Fri, Oct 11 2024, 1:50 pm

I think most people would be a sahm or work less while their kids are younger if given the choice. Very few people work for fun. Most people are working because it’s a nessesity. No one hates on Sahm but when people complain that finances are tight and they don’t want to work it’s hard to be sympathetic when everyone is in the same boat and manages

Sewsew_mom

Fri, Oct 11 2024, 2:56 pm

I love being a sahm. I wouldn't care if everyone called me lazy. I know I'm not lazy. And I know how hard I work to keep my home a pleasant and positive home.
Money is from hashem. I a thousand percent believe and see it.
And also.. I enjoy my life. Crazy right?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Oct 11 2024, 3:05 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

Exactly so I’d support these moms who feel the pressure like they have to work because of financials

amother

Dimgray

Fri, Oct 11 2024, 3:11 pm

We need systemic change to allow mothers to stay home, not handouts.

I haven't read it myself, but I believe the book "the 2 income trap" might have some ideas

amother

↑ OP

Fri, Oct 11 2024, 3:12 pm

amother Dimgray wrote:

We need systemic change to allow mothers to stay home, not handouts.

I haven't read it myself, but I believe the book "the 2 income trap" might have some ideas

Ok but I don’t have the options to make a systemic change I want to help a little bit one day.
Anyways I’d love to hear what the book says if you want to quote anything

amother

↑ Outerspace

Fri, Oct 11 2024, 4:13 pm

amother Sage wrote:

I don't think sahm are lazy I think they have it easier than working moms who do everything a sahm does plus work. And yes it is a luxury not to work in today's day.

But they don’t do everything a SAHM does as there is lot that goes on in the hours they are working and someone else is taking care of their child. They aren’t doing the same things and all that feeding, cleaning up, diapering and playing and more that goes on during their workday they are outsourcing.

amother

Feverfew

Sat, Oct 12 2024, 2:00 pm

amother OP wrote:

There is so much fighting her about this, calling moms who don’t work lazy and not caring about their family.

IYH one day when I have extra money I’m going to give it to ladies who want to be a SAHM but struggle financially.

I don’t think SAHM are lazy at all, I think they are doing an amazing thing by wanting to stay home.

Thank you.
You just made me feel really good. I always feel insecure about being a sahm.

OddoneOut1

Sat, Oct 12 2024, 2:37 pm

amother Sage wrote:

I don't think sahm are lazy I think they have it easier than working moms who do everything a sahm does plus work. And yes it is a luxury not to work in today's day.

This is a portion of the attitude that I think OP is referring to. Why do people assume working moms are doing the same plus more as SAHM??? If someone is watching their children 24/7- that is constant entertaining, activities, outings, that working moms outsource by leaving their children at daycare or babysitters. And oftentimes the SAHM are outsourcing less -cleaning help, prepared foods
Neither are easy but you can’t say the working mom is doing everything and more- child care all day is EXHAUSTING

amother

Mintcream

Sat, Oct 12 2024, 3:23 pm

Hahaha I dont work because there is no school. We are too close to the Lebanese border and there are missles. Total luxury let me tell you. LOL

Im not exactly rolling in the "dough" either. Just trying to keep my sanity intact.

bzmommy

Sat, Oct 12 2024, 9:39 pm

amother OP wrote:

This is so nice and thoughtful of you .
It’s nice to be a sahm without worrying about the finances . I would stretch every penny, drop date nights bc we couldn’t afford , buy less groceries or things I was craving (especially as I was nursing/ post birth ) and def did not buy anything for myself .
I tried to make it work with wtvr my husband was bringing home then . Unfortunately I have had to go back , even while nursing now . Not easy to have one income . I wish I can stay home with each baby until age of 1 without pressure to go back to work .

CPenzias

Sat, Oct 12 2024, 9:47 pm

amother Seashell wrote:

I’m a SAHM and have never felt any negativity or judgment from anyone on this site, especially about me being “lazy”. Quite the opposite actually..

I'd rather go to work than be a sahm. Just chag is hard! I can't do what you do

amother

↑ Petunia

Sat, Oct 12 2024, 9:50 pm

OddoneOut1 wrote:

How's about I work with a baby? Till it's not possible anymore. (Usually till baby is a year or so, some kids older) Plus for wtvr SAHM does....
I also know plenty of SAHM that give their kids out to a sitter and have lots of cleaning help...

amother

Cream

Sat, Oct 12 2024, 10:06 pm

amother Sage wrote:

Who said this is how it works? When I was able to be a SAHM for 2 years, we still paid full tuition.

amother

Amaranthus

Sat, Oct 12 2024, 10:10 pm

amother Cream wrote:

Who said this is how it works? When I was able to be a SAHM for 2 years, we still paid full tuition.

No ones asking sahm moms to watch other people’s kids they are asking parents who get a tuition break to find other non financial ways to give back to the yeshiva that will either save the yeshiva $$ or make it easier for those paying to continue to do so. Lets not take this out of context