Excessive birthday gift from friend

amother

OP ↓

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 7:29 pm

How much is a normal amount to spend on a friends birthday party for kids? This is elementary school age.

My son just got $20 cash from a friend and I think it’s too much and he should return half of it but he is devastated by the idea. What would you do?

amother

Crimson ↓

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 7:42 pm

Delete, I misunderstood OP

amother

Dill

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 7:49 pm

Don't think he should return a gift. It's insulting to his friend.

amother

↑ Crimson

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 7:50 pm

amother Dill wrote:

Don't think he should return a gift. It's insulting to his friend.

That's what I thought, but they're in elementary school. If it's the friend's own money and he's only 8 years old say, it might be appropriate intervene.

gr82no

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 8:29 pm

Speak to the kids mother, he might be bribing so that they're friends

amother

Zinnia

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 9:55 pm

Returning is embarrassing for the kids. I would speak to the mother and see if it’s the child’s own money or his parents’ money if its the child’s I would probably Venmo the mom and leave it between you two and not involve the kids. She can give it back to him in a more discreet way.

amother

Melon

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 10:19 pm

$20 doesn’t sound that excessive if they’re invited to a birthday party. I am in Israel so I spent less but I would think America’s possible to spend $20 quite easily on a birthday gift. I personally don’t think you should have your son return it.

amother

↑ OP

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 10:28 pm

amother Zinnia wrote:

This is a good idea thank you!

amother

Azure

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 3:19 am

$20 isn’t that excessive I thought you’d say like $50

amother

Milk

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 5:12 am

Gifts are expensive, I don’t think $20 is a lot even if it came from his own money

If you really feel it’s too much I’d suggest your son buying two of the same toys and giving one to the friend

amother

Amaranthus ↓

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 5:15 am

I don’t think $20 is excessive. If you want to make sure the parents are ok with it ask them.

amother

↑ Amaranthus

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 5:15 am

amother Zinnia wrote:

That would end up getting back to her kid and embarrassing him. This is not necessary.

amother

Feverfew

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 5:16 am

I don't think the amount is excessive as that could easily be the amount spent for a "present"

I think the issue is an 8 year old giving "cash" to another child as it seems like a very strange gift from a young child to a friend

Cash is generally from relatives

amother

Slateblue

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 5:20 am

$20 isn’t excessive but a kid giving another kid cash is a little off.