Kicking someone out of your seat

amother

↑ Goldenrod

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 7:51 am

amother Daffodil wrote:

It's your seat. You paid for it. You obviously aren't moichel and honestly you shouldn't be. If I choose not to pay then I choose to risk not having a seat. If the seat belongs to someone and she's not there then why shouldn't I sit there? But if she comes then I am counting on her to tell me that she's there.

If you don't tell then the lady is oiver on gezel.

(I don't go to shul anymore lol. But I definitely used to and while it was always annoying to stand up when the well-dressed perfumy lady comes and says, "Can you please get out of my seat?" well yeah it was her seat.)

I don't care if she's in her 40s and 50s and you're in your 20s or 30s, it's your seat. Say, "Can you please get out of my seat? I paid for it." And if she doesn't get up then ask a bit louder and use the word gezel. She will get up because it's a very uncomfortable thing to be told on RH/YK that you are doing gezel.

Alternatively, ask someone you know and like and who goes early(but didn't pay) to sit in your spot for you and give it up when you come. She gets a great spot for most of the tefilla, free, and you get your great spot when you come. Win-win.

Please ask first by saying something like, "Excuse me, according to the chart this is my seat." Lead with an assumption that she has made a mistake vs deliberately taking it. Making a mistake is very common, and leaves her with a polite "out" even if she sat in it on purpose. Only if she refuses would I go to "I paid for it", etc.