Bad faster and nursing baby- how do you do it?!

amother

OP ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 11:37 am

Trying to help my friend who's a single mother with a four month old baby. She has no one to help her with her baby. She develops migraines and feels weak and sick when fasting. She already spoke to a rav.
Can anyone suggest what helped you or any other tips?

amother

Seafoam

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 11:50 am

I had a terrible fast when my baby was that age.
She should get formula for atleast every second feed or build up a supply of pumped milk.
What completely changed me within a short time from being useless to being able to watch my baby and still function was the caffeine and Tylenol suppositories!!!! It was a life saver, was the first time I used it and now use them every Tisha baav and YK, my pharmacist said it is fine to use when nursing.

learning1

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 11:51 am

Do you want to say whereabout she is located, so I can see if I can network some help with the baby so she can lay (if I know ppl in the place)

Last edited by learning1 on Mon, Oct 07 2024, 11:52 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Periwinkle

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 11:52 am

amother OP wrote:

She should move in to someone for the day, perhaps invite her to come to you. She shouldn't be alone all day with an infant.
She should give formula if that's an option.
She can also try those slow release fast-aids.

amother

Lightpink ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 12:05 pm

I have a terrible time fasting+nursing.

By the end of the fast I'm pretty much half unconscious, and the baby is screaming and starving.

kali tzom doesn't help me for long fasts. I doubt the time release electrolytes would be that helpful either, but can't hurt to try.

If she has someone who can move in, or she can move in to, that would be a nice idea.

amother

Dill ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 12:11 pm

Drink a lot of water starting more than 1 day in advance. Have formula ready just in case. Her body will still produce milk on schedule so skipping feedings may not help much, but if she gets very dehydrated the milk might run low and the baby still needs to eat. Also this way someone else can feed the baby and she can get a break. She should stay resting or lying down in a room with a cool, pleasant temp.

So sorry, needed to edit my post. I didn't read op properly first time and missed that she has no one to help her. I think help is really essential. It could even be dangerous if she is a bad faster and alone with an infant. Is there any way at all she can get help?

Maybe the rebbetzin can find a nice family in the community preferably with kids age 10/11 who love babies and she can stay over with them the whole yk?

synthy

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 12:22 pm

Stay in bed all literally day. Give formula unless baby absolutely refuses. Kali Tzom and time release Tylenol. Get a babysitter or move in to someone so you have help.

I did this and my fast was easier than my non nursing fasts where I didn’t do all of the above

amother

Iris

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 12:34 pm

Amd if the baby won't bottle feed and she runs low, she can likely do shiurim- everyone I know in this situation was told this, and most were told in advance so they could be prepared in advance.

I also would like to know what the rav said. I also agree that she shouldn't be alone the whole time. Best if she can crash by someone, or someone can stay by her the whole time. If not, at least someone to look in on her regularly.

amother

Turquoise

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 12:36 pm

She should plan to bottle feed and have someone else available to give bottles. It will not affect her supply to do this. She will have mill after.

amother

Dimgray ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 12:39 pm

lostmyoldSN wrote:

She should take the kali tzom for nursing mothers. Ive found it makes a huge difference

I took the kali tzom for nursing and was the sickest I have ever been. I couldn’t stop vomiting. I wouldn’t recommend it.

She must must must have support. She should move into someone’s house for Yom Kippur if necessary. But she should not try to get through the fast by herself with a tiny nursing baby.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:12 pm

She didn't tell the rav that she's single. She doesn't live in my community and doesn't have anywhere to be. She has no choice but to be alone for all of Yom Kippur. The rav said that she should fast and stay in bed and have someone help her- but he doesn't know that she doesn't have anyone.

Will giving bottles affect her milk supply? The baby is exclusively breastfeeding.

gootlfriends ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

One day of bottles will not affect her supply. I did it with 2 kids. She might need to cluster feed the next day but then she should be fine. She should focus on hydrating herself. I suggest she hire a teen to help her with the baby. Babies are a lot of work.

amother

Eggshell

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 9:17 pm

Your friend needs to call her Rav back and give more details. If she wants help or a heater she needs to ask the right question and that's providing more information to the Rav.

Either that or she needs to go out of town to be by a friend for help and company.

amother

Daisy ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 10:01 pm

It so important to give all relevant information when asking a sheilah to a Rav! Please tell her to call back!

amother

Rainbow

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 10:31 pm

amother OP wrote:

Where does she live?