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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note
amother
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 Yesterday at 11:02 am
My husband never fasts on small fasts, not even on Tisha Baav. He’s still sleeping now, I know that if I wake him now he’ll end up breaking his fast right away.
Is there a point of him fasting till Chatzos? If there is, I’ll let him sleep and then by the time he gets up it will be after chatzos already. If there isn’t a point, I would wake him now because I could use his help.
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amother
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Yesterday at 11:09 am
You are not your husband’s mashgiach. What your husband does or doesn’t do in his religious life is ideally none of your business. You can focus on your own fast, if you are fasting. Otherwise just go about your day as normal.
(I woke up at 8, my husband is snoozing away, and I’m thinking - Shacharis? Slichos? But then I thought, hey, I’m not going to minyan, what right do I have to interfere with his spirituality and growth? He’s a great guy but so not into tefillah).
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amother
Goldenrod
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Yesterday at 11:12 am
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davening shacharis before chatzos is definitely a thing
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amother
Slateblue
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Yesterday at 11:12 am
OP stay out of this. It’s between him
And Gd
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amother
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Yesterday at 11:13 am
| amother Aster wrote: | You are not your husband’s mashgiach. What your husband does or doesn’t do in his religious life is ideally none of your business. You can focus on your own fast, if you are fasting. Otherwise just go about your day as normal.
(I woke up at 8, my husband is snoozing away, and I’m thinking - Shacharis? Slichos? But then I thought, hey, I’m not going to minyan, what right do I have to interfere with his spirituality and growth? He’s a great guy but so not into tefillah). |
Oh I know I’m not his mashgiach…he does whatever he wants to do. But like I said, if I wake him up he’ll break it, if I don’t, he won’t.
It’s a bit more inconvenient for me not to wake him but if its better if he fasts till chatzos, why not do it…he doesn’t care either way.
If you knew your husband doesn’t care about shabbos and wants the AC on all day, wouldn’t you turn it on before shabbos so that he doesn’t have to do it on shabbos? Even if it’s between him and God.
Obviously it’s not the same thing but the point is the same.
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amother
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Yesterday at 11:14 am
He’s not davening shachris either way…even if he was up from 7.
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amother
Aqua
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Yesterday at 11:15 am
| amother Aster wrote: | You are not your husband’s mashgiach. What your husband does or doesn’t do in his religious life is ideally none of your business. You can focus on your own fast, if you are fasting. Otherwise just go about your day as normal.
(I woke up at 8, my husband is snoozing away, and I’m thinking - Shacharis? Slichos? But then I thought, hey, I’m not going to minyan, what right do I have to interfere with his spirituality and growth? He’s a great guy but so not into tefillah). |
This is flawed thinking. You don’t have an obligation of minyan. And he’s setting a terrible example for the kids and the spirituality in your home. You are a team and run a home together. I can never understand the who am I part, or thinking you are a mashgiach if you care about the type of home you raise your kids in.
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amother
Emerald
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Yesterday at 11:15 am
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To answer your question I do believe chatzos is better than nothing
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amother
Copper
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Yesterday at 11:19 am
| amother Emerald wrote: | | To answer your question I do believe chatzos is better than nothing | Yes for sure
The situation sounds difficult
do you have guidance
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amother
DarkPurple
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Yesterday at 11:24 am
| amother Aster wrote: | You are not your husband’s mashgiach. What your husband does or doesn’t do in his religious life is ideally none of your business. You can focus on your own fast, if you are fasting. Otherwise just go about your day as normal.
(I woke up at 8, my husband is snoozing away, and I’m thinking - Shacharis? Slichos? But then I thought, hey, I’m not going to minyan, what right do I have to interfere with his spirituality and growth? He’s a great guy but so not into tefillah). |
So happy to know my husband isn’t the only one sleeping now ! Like umm it’s the day after Rosh hashana , you’re not going to even try going to a minyan ?? Definitely really bothers me , but I won’t say a word because it won’t do anything ! So I’ll just daven
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amother
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Yesterday at 11:33 am
| amother Emerald wrote: | | To answer your question I do believe chatzos is better than nothing |
Thanks for answering my question🙏
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Ruchel
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Yesterday at 11:35 am
Is he sleeping so he can at least fast this?
Signed someone who vomits, faints
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amother
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Yesterday at 11:35 am
| amother Copper wrote: | Yes for sure
The situation sounds difficult
do you have guidance |
Thank you for caring.
Yes, we’re okay. We have guidance. He has his struggles and I give him the space to figure himself out. I love to daven, have a solid connection to God so I daven for myself and him. Not a big deal! HaShem knows he can’t do much now and I’m grateful that I do have a desire for the connection and that I can have us both in mind.
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amother
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Yesterday at 11:54 am
| Ruchel wrote: | Is he sleeping so he can at least fast this?
Signed someone who vomits, faints |
No he’s sleeping because he enjoys sleeping.
In fact, he just woke up and I laughed and told him I let him sleep so he can fast till chatzos at least, he started laughing too and said okay, in that case I’ll go back to sleep. And he did.
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amother
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Yesterday at 11:56 am
I get what you are saying about the a/c. I get it.
To the amother that asked me if my husband’s lack of davening has an impact on my sons or daughters? So far not. They are all superstar daveners.
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amother
Nemesia
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Yesterday at 12:41 pm
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Sounds like a real question for a rav.
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amother
Lemon
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Yesterday at 12:44 pm
Many people fast till chatzos on minor fast days.
What’s the issue ?
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