How to not dread the holidays

amother

OP ↓

Thu, Sep 26 2024, 10:50 am

I miss when used to look forward to RH and YK and Sukkos. But this year it just feels like such a burden and I hate feeling this way. I have a baby and a toddler and my husband works long hours so every day is just cooking and cleaning and trying to survive. Can’t afford cleaning help often. On YT I’ll be at home with my nursing baby and I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to daven. I kind of just feel like running away and spending the next month in a hotel by myself. My emunah is down the drain because I know I have a lot to be thankful for but it’s been several years of financial pressure and exhaustion and marital stresses. Even though I daven every RH for parnassa etc. it feels like nothing changes. How do I not feel this way? Like I’m going through the motions and just cooking tons of food for no reason?

amother

Daylily

Thu, Sep 26 2024, 11:16 am

Wow, that can be rough!

Would you think it would help to listen to a class/podcast that gives some perspective and meaning to the time of year? There are a few classes on why this time of year can cause anxiety and what to do about it or how to reframe it properly as it's not meant to be so.

amother

Lightyellow

Thu, Sep 26 2024, 11:49 am

Hold you baby and snuggle. Sing words of tefilla together. As you snuand say avinu malkinu you'll find the limited tefillos you get to so powerful with the new life in your hands. I think some times we buy a package that the ikur of Yom tov is davening all day and that is the way to connect to hkbh but hkbh has many other way for us to be close to him.you need to reframe and ifind the meaning in your new roll

amother

Lightcoral

Thu, Sep 26 2024, 1:07 pm

Reframe. Your job now is not to daven its to be with your kids. You probably were dreaming of this moment for years. Don't stress about cooking...if your kids are still small make the basics and your dh will be fine. Buy one or two things extra if you feel you need it.

amother

Milk

Thu, Sep 26 2024, 1:13 pm

Find someone feeling similar and sit together. Split meals with a friend/sibling or make dishes for each other. Buy some cheap toys to take out on yomtov for your toddler to be busy. Make YOUR favorite foods or buy ur favorite snacks. Just get through it. Lower your expectations.

amother

↑ OP

Thu, Sep 26 2024, 1:17 pm

amother Milk wrote:

Thanks for all the reponses everyone.
I’m feeling like the bigger issue is a deep sense of dissatisfaction with my life and despair that things aren’t getting better so no motivation to pray.

ShishKabob

Thu, Sep 26 2024, 1:19 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thanks for all the reponses everyone.
I’m feeling like the bigger issue is a deep sense of dissatisfaction with my life and despair that things aren’t getting better so no motivation to pray.

Makes sense to feel like that in your situation. It will change Bezh.
Can you delegate the praying to your dh?

monsey01

Thu, Sep 26 2024, 5:02 pm

A new outfit and some type of self care spa service is a MUST. No excuses about no money because if you had money I would say new jewelery. That's how you survive Yom Tov with resentment.

Cheiny

Thu, Sep 26 2024, 5:04 pm

amother OP wrote:

It’s not for no reason, everything you do for Shabbos and YT is a mitzvah and it’s a chesed for your family. Try to look at Yom Tov as an opportunity to daven for a much better year this year. Hashem sees all your struggles and efforts. They are accomplishing things that we as humans can’t even comprehend.