How many of you ima’s go to therapy?

amother

Caramel

Thu, Sep 19 2024, 3:36 pm

I never went to therapy, I have a hard time setting myself in a vulnerable place, and I have a hard time listening to others. Sometimes, I wish I had the courage to reach out to someone, especially now that it can interfere with my marriage, and it really makes my life miserable when such a situation arises.
As long as I don't need to deal with my issue, I try to cover it under my cloak... but it flares up when something that touches those roots occurs. I wish to get help, but I'm embarrassed Broken Heart

amother

Taupe ↓

Thu, Sep 19 2024, 3:39 pm

My guess is that the reason is that there is a disproportionate number of people in therapy on this site relative to the rest of the population, is because many of us who have been in therapy have been either advised or triggered to cut off / sabotage relationships. We come here to fill that void.

imanotmommy

Thu, Sep 19 2024, 5:54 pm

I think people underestimated how many of the people they know are/were in therapy, whereas people are more willing to talk about it anonymously online.

amother

Charcoal

Thu, Sep 19 2024, 7:04 pm

Was in therapy many years. It was a great starting point and I gained a lot. But I wouldn’t think of it as something that will heal you exactly. I definitely made strides, don’t get me wrong. But the beginning of healing didn’t come through it. There isn’t a perfect answer as to what will fully heal you, I don’t think. It’s a long and arduous journey. It still feels like I have miles to go, though I hope that isn’t true.

amother

Khaki

Thu, Sep 19 2024, 7:58 pm

OMG! wrote:

Sounds like You need guidance more than therapy. Or a good parenting method. If you speak Yiddish I can recommend someone

im a different amother but would really appreciate a recommendation.

amother

Hosta

Thu, Sep 19 2024, 8:09 pm

I've been to several. They were fine. It didn't help me at all. Im really not doing okay. I don't know why I was born. I just can't do life. At all.

amother

↑ Taupe ↓

Thu, Sep 19 2024, 8:33 pm

amother Hosta wrote:

I've been to several. They were fine. It didn't help me at all. Im really not doing okay. I don't know why I was born. I just can't do life. At all.

So so sorry to hear you feel this way. How about a shiur in a sefer with a partner that will give you a taam ruchni in life. Like Tanya, "Bringing Heaven Down to Earth", R' Zelig Pliskin's books, Books on Nach, etc...
When I was feeling like you at a very desperate and low point in my life, I took a four-pronged approach: physical, mental, spiritual, emotional.
Take yourself of nutritionally - eat well, sleep well, drink enough, exercise, go for reflexology, a massage.
Emotionally - get yourself a good a self-help or inspirational book, and write, if that works for you.
Mentally - learn a new skill, build new brain cells, feel empowered by mastering a skill. (graphics, baking, sewing, etc...)
Spiritually - have a daily shiur.
It works.

amother

↑ Lemonchiffon

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 7:10 am

There's an inherent bias here. People who have never been in therapy are less likely to bother opening the thread or respond to the poll, so you're already preselecting those who have been to therapy.

amother

Kiwi

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 11:01 am

amother Ecru wrote:

Been in therapy for over ten years and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. Can’t imagine life without it.

Same here.

tf ↓

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 11:09 am

amother Charcoal wrote:

I get you. There Are ups and downs.
... and for me personally, I felt like I was in the dark and had miles to go until I found myself at the end. And then it was like "this is what it is? WOW! I can't believe I've reached this amazing place!" Even if it's not absolutely needed anymore it's still easier and feels better in the therapeutic relationship. It also takes much faster.

↑ tf

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 11:13 am

amother Caramel wrote:

The therapist you choose should get that. That's one of her jobs. Whenever you choose to finally start, I applaud you for taking that difficult step.

amother

Burgundy

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 11:18 am

amother Taupe wrote:

Its not specifically cut-offs.

Its that anyone with a void in relationships -- Bad marriage, toxic family of origin, unable to make friends, ect, is in need of support and is more likely to be in therapy and/or on Imamother. That's what I assume the correlation is.

amother

↑ Royalblue ↓

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 2:33 pm

amother Taupe wrote:

If we're all in therapy, why do we still have the void?

Because therapy can't fill what's missing. It gives you tools in how to deal with the pain but it's not giving you something to fill the void with. That you need to do on your own.

Coffee beanz

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 3:12 pm

amother Opal wrote:

Now for an added dimension, those in therapy who are happy with their therapist could you please post leads?
Looking specifically for therapy with parenting assistance. Parenting burnout on account of challenging neurodivergent kids. Direction on parenting my adorable challenging kids etc
Thanks!

This is actually my specialty. Feel free to private message me even if you just want some quick tips and ideas I'm happy to help