Sharing your file (and people copying you in general)

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 10:43 am

Queen Of Hearts wrote:

I understand you OP. It doesn't feel good to share and get no credit for your work.
Just know the harder something is to do the more schar you get for it.
But if it's causing real resentment maybe don't share your stuff till you feel you're really ready for it along with all the negative feelings.

And another point, there's a saying imitation is the best form of flattery (or something like that) so the fact that people are always copying you is a huge compliment.

How do I know when I’m feeling ready? It’s been over a decade……

Your last point is a good one. And I keep trying to tell myself there’s a reason why people want to copy….. but it still doesn’t feel good…
I have an artsy way of dressing my kids and it bothers me when people copy. It feels like it takes away from my uniqueness.
I also have a very strong style of teaching and very unique sheets. And I feel like when these things go places it takes away from my uniqueness.
But, on the other hand my conscience tells me that I only benefit from sharing because so many more people benefit from things that originate from me so it’s all my credit…….but ughhhh it feels horrible and I can’t shake off the feeling. How oh how do I get to a place of feeling good and proud to share??

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 11:04 am

amother Olive wrote:

Maybe it would help to try thinking that Hashem has gifted you with this and its on loan, it's not you, it's Him and all of life is a test, using what Hashem gave you to bring light into the world

Wow this is a very nice outlook. I’m going to try to program my brain to have this outlook.

amother

Navy

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 11:12 am

I'm a teacher and I totally get it. I share everything with my colleagues in my school. But I will ask for example not to teach something of mine in 10th grade that I teach in 11th because then I can't use my own stuff!

But yes, I've had situations where I see someone using a worksheet of mine and they forgot they got it from me and I do feel annoyed. Like I just like when they acknowledge that I made it.

But also in my schools it really is reciprocal. I also take materials from colleagues that they give generously. But I try very hard to give them credit, like even in front of students I'll say "I got this from Mrs. Greenberg. She is so creative". Because I see it as an opportunity to model collaboration and hakaras hatov.

mha3484

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 11:15 am

As parent my boys come home with plenty of sheets made by other rebbeim and they have email addresses, names, phone numbers of the creator on the bottom. To pass it off as your own is not nice. I like that when my boys look at the sheets they see that their rebbe gave credit to the person who made them.

amother

Maroon ↓

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 12:30 pm

amother OP wrote:

I don’t want to sell it. I don’t want to share at all. If I do share then I want the zechus. I don’t want the money. It’s not the point.

I felt the same as you for a long time. I felt bad not sharing but when I did I really felt bad afterwards. I tried selling my curriculum but it felt even worse and has some bad experiences with some dishonest people.
What I have found as a good balance is that I am happy to give away my time, not my resources. I often spend hours consulting with new teachers or those teaching a similar class and give them ideas of things I've done or how to cover certain material. For some reason, this feels less violating (they still have to do a lot of the hard part themselves and there's no danger of anyone passing off my materials as their own...). This way I feel good that I can help people but it feels less like I'm being taken advantage of.
Not sure if that makes sense but it works for me.

amother

↑ OP

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 12:45 pm

amother Maroon wrote:

Yes tips I share all the time…..
so you just flat-out say “No I don’t share my resources”?

amother

↑ Maroon

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 1:06 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yes tips I share all the time…..
so you just flat-out say “No I don’t share my resources”?

I usually just say something like "I find it's best for students when their teachers create their resources as they can tailor the worksheets/questions etc to what's being taught in their specific classroom" or "I'd love to give you my actual resources but they are so specific to my class/style etc that they probably won't help you. But I'd be glad to give you some ideas that you can use...". Most people don't press me after that (they get the hint) but it's much nicer than flat out "no".
When I have been pushed I have just said "unfortunately I've had some bad experiences when I've shared my actual material so I had to stop doing it. I hope you understand. Please tell me how else I can help you"

amother

Anemone

Sat, Sep 21 2024, 10:27 pm

amother OP wrote:

My question is why is it so hard for me? And when I do push myself to do it and people benefit I should be feeling good. But instead I feel horrible and in a bad mood.
Since I’m young I always had people copy me and I always hated it. And it’s so dumb really to hate it. How do I get past it?

Maybe you’re expecting something back from them and you’re not getting it? Like recognition or praise?