Do I just buy the acne products?

amother

OP ↓

Mon, Sep 16 2024, 9:05 pm

My 13 year old daughter has a lot of acne. Not cystic acne but lots of small pimples and black heads. She has asked me to buy her a certain face wash, I did that. Tonight she put 2 other products in the Amazon cart and asked me if I can buy them for her. I did. I'm just wondering if I should buy whatever she is asking for in this category or should I speak to her about her acne?
My mother made such a big deal about my acne, shlepping me from doctor to doctor, I got all kinds soft creams and cleanser and medications and all in all, I eventually grew out of the acne. I don't remember any of it actually helping much. I had so much shame that it was this whole thing.
Because of this I have not brought the issue up and just follow her lead.
Is there something else I should be doing?
Any ideas for how to navigate this in the most compassionate and respectful way?

Chayalle

Mon, Sep 16 2024, 9:11 pm

I had terrible acne as a teen. Interestingly, my girls did not inherit this from me BH. They would maybe get a small pimple once in a blue moon, and you'd think the world just fell apart...

Be that as it may - I do think you should show your teen support by getting her some anti-acne products, but you can put a cap on it so it doesn't get out of control.

Better yet, look up the facts about what is recommended so your teen doesn't make the issue worse by drying out her skin unnecessarily which can lead to worse acne (if the skin is dry, it will try to produce more oil and can result in more acne), or using too much anti-acne products which can lead to skin sensitivity. Instead, guide her to follow good skin care practices, including a good face wash (one with salicylic acid, but should not be overused) and one without, for times when not using the other one), and a good moisturizer to follow up so skin is not dry. Perhaps something with sunscreen for the a.m. and without for the p.m.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Sep 16 2024, 9:16 pm

amother DarkGray wrote:

I personally would take her to a dermotologist and see what they suggest.

This is so triggering to me.
I would if she asked me to to but she hasn't.

amother

↑ DarkGray

Mon, Sep 16 2024, 9:19 pm

amother OP wrote:

This is so triggering to me.
I would if she asked me to to but she hasn't.

Why don't you just ask her of she would want to go?

synthy ↓

Mon, Sep 16 2024, 9:25 pm

She should start by washing her face well, so an acne cleanser is a very logical first step. Most teens have acne, and a lot of it can be controlled by a good, consistent skincare routine (consistent being the keyword).
She should be wary of using too many acne targeting products because they dry out the skin and that in itself can cause more acne.

She should try a routine of religiously washing her face, then a acne treatment like salicylic acid or niacinamide serum, followed by a non-comedogenic moisturizer. Also, make sure to wash her pillowcase every 2-3 days. If all that doesn't help after a month, ask her if she wants to see a dermatologist, no pressure.

amother

Snowdrop

Mon, Sep 16 2024, 9:35 pm

As suggested, take her to a dermatologist and do what they recommend

You should be the one to take the initiative because your daughter might not understand that there are doctor recommended stuff versus stuff that is advertised.

There really are effective treatments for it and your daughter probably lacks the medical knowledge to determine which are the hyped ones and which are the effective ones.

amother

Broom

Mon, Sep 16 2024, 10:19 pm

The world of over the counter acne products is extremely overwhelming and I’d say much of it is gimmick. You can keep buying her what she wants but the likelihood of it working is pretty low. Not all acne is made the same. She needs a dermatologist to really help her.

amother

Opal

Mon, Sep 16 2024, 10:34 pm

Proactive has a great line for acne.
As well as curology.
She needs to try it religiously for a few weeks
If they work for her great
If not take her to a dermatologist

amother

↑ OP

Mon, Sep 16 2024, 11:09 pm

How do you suggest I offer to take her to a dermatologist?
Do the medications from the dermatologist actually work? IME they didn't.
Anyone know of a dermatologist in NY that takes fidelis and is sensitive to young girls?

Moonlight

Mon, Sep 16 2024, 11:12 pm

amother OP wrote:

"A dermatologist is a dr that specializes is skin and can help with your acne. Would you be interested in trying one?."

amother

Pansy

Tue, Sep 17 2024, 1:14 am

amother OP wrote:

Exactly. It’s all baloney.
But following this thread, bec dd10 started with acne. I don’t want to repeat what my mom did to me, but of course if there actually IS a solution I’d love to know. Still dealing it with it myself…

amother

Maroon

Tue, Sep 17 2024, 2:59 am

I definitely bought lots of stuff and took care of my face as a girl, without knowing what I'm doing... Had a friend with terrible acne. Her mother sent her for a facial to someone that has real good skin products and she gave her a very basic skin regimen. I kid you not, it took a short while and her skin was glowy and beautiful with just an occasional pimple here or there which she knew how to tackle, because of the regimen she got from the esthetician. I wish my mother would've recommended that to me instead of letting me buy all sorts of acne products in the pharmacy. In certain areas I just made my skin worse by trying to do it myself. I started going for facials later on and using products recommended for my skin specifically and I've seen a major difference.

amother

Pumpkin

Tue, Sep 17 2024, 3:03 am

I get why this is triggering for you.

But you need to figure out what you'd do if you didn't have that.

Sounds like you need some balance. Your daughter is looking for direction.

Definitely ask if she's interested in seeing a dermatologist or skincare expert. If she is, take her. See how it goes. If she isn't, get her some products for now.

If she goes and it doesn't help, you can see if she's interested in trying again. Keep it her choice, don't recommend, suggest, or force. If she's done, she's done, and she'll probably grow out of it at some point.

imaima ↓

Tue, Sep 17 2024, 3:15 am

amother OP wrote:

Do you understand basic skincare? You shouldn’t buy blindly but it’s usually more than one item

amother

Magnolia

Tue, Sep 17 2024, 3:23 am

I had bad acne as a teen reg not cystic also my dr asked me by a visit why I don’t go to the dermatologist. We went to one the wait was forever and they did nothing and the stuff would dry out my face . One of my dd got my acne first my pediatrician gave us a prescription that worked for a bit and we also have over the counter products that we used with it . It got bad we went to the dermatologist she gave us cream bh her face was great then it got bad very bad we went and she gave us a cream it was not working like before we went back and she ened up giving my dd an antibiotic that targets bacterial Acne and guess what her face is so much better its took a few weeks but really cleared up