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Forum -> Relationships -> Simcha Section

Enjoy or burden

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View latest: 24h 48h 72h

Do you enjoy going to simchas

Yes

43%

[ 44 ]

56%

[ 57 ]

Total Votes : 101

amother

OP ↓

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 10:42 pm

Do you enjoy going to simchas?

amother

Slategray

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 10:44 pm

Some

if I have people there to talk to.

amother

Candycane

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 10:57 pm

I hate getting dressed after a long day. Wish I could go as I am like dh does lol.

amother

NeonPink

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 11:01 pm

Usually yes unless I’m pregnant and sick and therefore can’t enjoy… for the most part yes though

amother

Bronze

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 11:13 pm

I like going to close family like siblings, cousins, but friends and aquaintences.. na. I actually had 4 weddings tonight that I skipped...

erm

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 11:19 pm

Really depends on who's making it and who will be there and how far the drive is.

amother

Ultramarine

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 11:37 pm

Most introverts will say not really
Most extroverts will be happy to get out and socialize

amother

Lightgreen

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 11:41 pm

amother Ultramarine wrote:

Most introverts will say not really
Most extroverts will be happy to get out and socialize

I’m an extrovert and find it really hard to get out. After a regular workday, plus tutoring on some nights, I really don’t have the patience or energy. Ironically, once I’m there I enjoy it and don’t want to go home so fast.

amother

Butterscotch

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 11:55 pm

amother Ultramarine wrote:

Most introverts will say not really
Most extroverts will be happy to get out and socialize

Introvert here.

I HATE going. I wish I could send a card and a check and that's it.

I hate getting dressed, putting on makeup, finding someone to sit next to (Halevi it will be someone who will talk to me or a friendly face). It feels so unnecessary and artificial as at most simchas, you say mazel tov to the baalas simcha at the beginning and then you don't see them the rest of the night... what is the point?!?!

I HATE dancing in the middle of a circle. I don't love dancing in general.

So... yes, I hate going to simchos... I'd rather watch it on zoom.

HonesttoGod

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 11:58 pm

Totally depends on who. Where. When.

Most times I don’t mind it’s nice to get out and socialize. But after a long day at work and kids etc I’m usually beyond exhausted and have little if any energy to get dressed and go out.

I also don’t enjoy going to simchas where I know like 2 people and will have to stand there alone.

amother

Latte

Mon, Sep 16 2024, 12:03 am

Only if it’s someone I’m close to

amother

Bellflower

Mon, Sep 16 2024, 12:09 am

A few years ago, I disliked going to all these simchos and dreaded seeing yet another invitation in the mail. Then I heard the story behind the “man from vilna” song on journeys, where a holocaust survivor heard people complaining about weddings and said, there was a time when we thought there wouldn’t be any more Jewish weddings. It completely changed my perspective and I go to simchas with a much different attitude. Even when it’s inconvenient and all I want to do is curl up in bed in my pajamas. In fact I just drove many hours to a wedding that I stayed at for less than an hour, and I’m so happy I did. It was the right thing to do and BH for Jewish weddings!

Molly Weasley

Mon, Sep 16 2024, 12:58 am

amother Bellflower wrote:

That's exactly my attitude
I obviously can't go to all them, but I try to attend as much as possible, even if just to be there for a few minutes.

ChalieB

Mon, Sep 16 2024, 5:47 am

I love simchas! Food, friends, a chance to dress up... so fun Smile

amother

Vermilion

Mon, Sep 16 2024, 5:54 am

Similar to post above - a Holocaust survivor once told me “never say “it’s hard “ about a simcha “. That was powerful

essie14 ↓

Mon, Sep 16 2024, 6:34 am

It's not a yes or no question.
I am an extrovert but after a long day I have no interest in socializing no matter what the occasion is. If it's someone I love and care about, of course I am happy to share in their simcha. If it's someone I barely know, no.

amother

DarkGreen

Mon, Sep 16 2024, 6:40 am

Not really. When I was younger, my own friends were getting married, and I had a group of friends to go with, it was fun and novel. But only weddings not bar mitzvahs--yawn. But now? Not at all. The getting farpootzed, the shlepping--nobody has simchas in my neighborhood, there are no halls of any size and zero parking, so we always have to trek somewhere--the NOISE --entirely the band's fault, do they really need to be heard in the next state over?--the loneliness when there's no one I know to talk to-- the pretending to have a good time, and the sheer unmitigated boredom...Somewhat better if I have a few friends at the table but that's very rare. Mostly only if it's a simcha in my own family.

amother

Hosta

Mon, Sep 16 2024, 6:45 am

amother Ultramarine wrote:

Most introverts will say not really
Most extroverts will be happy to get out and socialize

I am an extrovert and I love socializing, but simchas is not where I wanna be. it’s hard to get out after a long day at work and I much rather go out with friends then get all dressed up. Spend a long time preparing getting there and waiting around.

Tao

Mon, Sep 16 2024, 6:53 am

In theory, I'm never in the mood to go. But once I'm actually there, I'm not sure I remember a time I didn't enjoy it lol. I usually find someone to shmooze with. And if not, theres always food lol.
My husbands friend is getting married very soon and I don't know the kallah from Adam. He wants me to go because it's a really good friend of his. I'm not looking forward thinking about it, but truthfully I know at least one of my good friends is going and anyway, I enjoy meeting new people and seeing people I haven't seen in a while, so I know I'll end up having a good time in the end.
It's just the thought of getting all dressed up, pumping, getting the kids ready for the babysitter, spending a whole evening with people, is a bit much for my brain

amother

Springgreen

Mon, Sep 16 2024, 10:37 am

This makes me sad.
I guess as a BT we don’t get as many invitations as other people with big families, etc.
I hope that the people I think of as friends, would be happy to come to my family’s simchas and not think of it as burden.
It’s an honor to celebrate people’s simchas with them.
I’m busy too, but I do make every effort to attend, even for a short time.

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