Creative Solutions to the Expensive Wedding Crisis

↑ shemsheli123

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 5:36 pm

Chayalle wrote:

But what about mechitza?

I was actually at a gorgeous wedding in my neighborhood which was at the end of the COVID period. It was in a beautiful backyard on my block, and they have a tall hedge surrounding the property in the back. The ladies danced inside the hedge, and the men danced on the outside.

(In terms of cost, I heard they did not save much. The cost of bringing refrigerated trucks, china, etc...for the dinner cost more per person than a takanah wedding in a hall.) But the outdoor wedding on a gorgeous day (their mazal!) could not be replicated elsewhere.

Mechitza wasn't an issue. They brought a mechitza. I have to agree with you about the cost though Sad

And this wasn't extra fancy at all. Standard. But yes, bringing everything in is not cheap, and I don't think the family got lucky and saved a lot of money because "covid wedding". I guess if everything would have been served buffet in sternos, and they would have used the beautiful plastic plates and cutlery that is available these days, trader joe flowers or orchid plants, maybe they could have saved. I really don't know. I havent made a wedding yet.

amother

↑ Fern ↓

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 8:17 pm

amother Lightcyan wrote:

Another Ima chiming in : all my weddings I had to invite more people than I would have liked to - because all the 4 halls I’ve used had minimum guest numbers. So I have to pay for that amount of people anyway. Whether or not there are that many guests , whether or not we need that much food/waitstaff . It’s maddening . The halls should lower their minimum guest number. It would help across the board.

I briefly looked into what it would cost to make a smaller wedding in a smaller catering hall, and what I found is that smaller places charge more per person so you don't really save. On the other hand, if you do the meal separate from the chuppah, in a shul hall or a restaurant, you can save a lot! But then you won't have the same setup with a dance floor etc. At least where I live (Israel) the only way to really make a cheaper wedding is to do it in a very out of the box way. Similar to what's being described here for English weddings. But it's too out of the box for people to actually do it that way.

↑ Boca00

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 8:47 pm

So it looks like we have some great solutions coming in so far!

I’m doing this from memory so help me out if I missed something:
1) Have smaller halls with smaller minimums- maybe this could be a non-profit even
2) Have the chuppah (and dancing?) for everyone and a separate smaller meal for family after- UK style
3) Takana weddings in Baltimore or Lakewood
4) Give the couple some basics to get started and they will save up and get the rest later
5) Have the couple pay for the wedding themselves
6) Scale way back on gifts and expectations
7) Have a glamorous outdoor backyard wedding

amother

↑ Fern

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 9:15 pm

Boca00 wrote:

4 and 6 are great ideas for saving money on wedding-related expenses, that don't impact the actual wedding at all. In my circles (Israeli DL) it's standard for young couples to start out with second-hand furniture and less fancy things.

Number 7 I believe people said doesn't really save money.