Why do people think it’s okay to post their children?

Great ma

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 10:01 pm

Balance and not extremism is the key word. Let's not exaggerate here. Posting a picture a couple times a year is not the same as blogging daily or weekly and sharing personal stuff. To share personal stuff about your child's daily life is violating their privacy and disrespectful for sure. But to share a random picture with just one cute line like 'graduating can't believe it so proud' or 'happy birthday best son' or picture in park or zoo with a heart or kiss is absolutely nothing special I'm sure. No pedo is going to stalk after one picture amongst the billions of images.

Having said that I wouldn't ever post my children's picture online, but then I wouldn't post a picture of my meal or my own holiday either! Because it's personal, private and belongs to me! Why on earth would I show the random world things about myself and my life?
I'd definitely send cute pics to family and some friends but not random posting to the random public.
It's a feeling thing, an appreciation of self value and self respect and of enjoying my pleasures for myself. And valuing and respecting others like your children.

*please note a couple of bloggers (vloggers) who blogged their entire children's lives were found out to be abusers and were jailed! Because a parent who does like that is abusive and off

amother

Buttercup

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 10:39 pm

amother OP wrote:

There are so many creeps out there (enough said but this is IRKING me).
Anyone who *publicly* posts their children is subjecting them to the creeps.
People posting their kids dancing, doing try ons, eating etc.
have they never learned internet safety?

I don't really do much social media, but I am curious. What is the great danger of posting pics of kids? I mean, I can see if there are names used and they are wearing an identifying school uniform shirt how this can be risky. But otherwise? What danger would children face simply by their parents posting a pic or video of them? Is the worry that some sicko will sit by the computer screen and gratify himself while looking at the child? Or are the kids somehow in actual danger?

sequoia

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 11:47 pm

There’s a series of satirical videos — I forget the name of the creator — from the point of view of kids growing up with a mommy vlogger and it’s so sad. They are exposed, exploited, and have no choice but to participate in the videos. They don’t get privacy and have their most personal issues, including medical issues, revealed to the world.

Mommy vloggers, whether frum or not, are doing something immoral. Your kids can’t consent to this. They’re not getting paid. They’re not in a position to say no. They can’t quit.

No one needs to film for the whole world to see the moment they meet their baby sister for the first time.

Find a way to make $ without exploiting your kids.

amother

Bluebonnet

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 8:54 am

I don't post pictures of my children publicly but I do send pics to family over WhatsApp. I think there's a big difference between sharing photos with a closed set of close family or even friends and broadcasting pictures for whoever stumbles across a public page.

Also, posed family photos are one thing, but putting anything that could potentially embarrass a child online is a terrible thing to do them in this day and age.

watergirl ↓

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 12:30 pm

My personal policy is I won't follow anyone who uses their kids as content.

There is one IGer who does this, so no problem, I don't follow her. Then she made a huge deal out of her learning the issues with using her kids as content and she said she was stopping. Great! I followed her. She started off by not posting them in any way. Then you heard their voices. Then she'd post their faces but with an emoji on it. Now they are back in most of her stories and posts. Unfollow.

She once posted about a vacation they were going on, and how one of them was misbehaving so the collective punishment was no vacation. But of course she'd paid for the hotel room already, so she went on her own and made content from the hotel room, etc. BUT anyone who follows her knows her kids names, ages, school, and what they look like. So now they know a)mom is out of town, b)dad works long hours c)kid is upset. All ripe for exploitation.

I don't think people realize this is as problematic as it is.

↑ watergirl ↓

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 12:32 pm

amother Hibiscus wrote:

I have identical twins
I took them to a mall
A few months later I saw posters of my twins at the mall with out my permission

In the beginning of facebook being open to all, not just college students (ie before we all knew the issues of posting, etc), a friend of mine posted a pic of his good looking family. Blond hair, blue eyes, the works. A year later, someone was in Japan and saw his family posted on the side of all the public transport busses for a dental ad.

Re: photos at the mall - read the fine print when you enter the mall or go on their website, you might have inadvertently agreed to being in promotional photos just by walking in.

amother

↑ Indigo

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 12:55 pm

amother Hibiscus wrote:

I have identical twins
I took them to a mall
A few months later I saw posters of my twins at the mall with out my permission

I’m not sure what happened here but if you want to talk about it I suggest starting a new thread..

Cheiny ↓

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 1:42 pm

amother Currant wrote:

Because it's dangerous & kids are too young to consent.
I don't understand how any parent is okay with posting their children on social media. Who gave them right to post their children sleeping??? Or their children's bedrooms?? That's such a breech of boundaries & I think should be illegal.
Perverts also use pictures of children on social media to do their thing.

I am very not in favor of people blasting their lives on sm, in general. Posting about their children is not a good idea. All of it invites an ayin hara at the very least. Rabbi Frand specifically said last year Tisha b’av I believe it was, that people should think twice about it, for various reasons. It’s just a bad idea on many levels. If you need to show off your adorable kids, send it to family members only. The whole world doesn’t need to see them, and most times, they aren’t interested or in any way as impressed as you imagine they’ll be.

↑ Cheiny ↓

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 1:43 pm

amother Pistachio wrote:

And what about kids who are models, movie stars, or on TV shows? How is it any different? I think you need to educate yourself about real life and not just the little bubble you live in. You don't have to agree with everything everyone does but it doesn't make it abuse or illegal.

Those who are models, movie starts, etc are getting paid for it. What exactly is the parent who isn’t getting paid for it getting out of posting their kids on sm?

↑ watergirl ↓

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 1:48 pm

amother Pistachio wrote:

Children on TV and in movies are protected legally and by many laws and the Coogan Law, the FCC rules, the The Screen Actors Guild, and more. There are very strict laws regarding their privacy, education, hours on screen, you can google it.

Laws in the US can't keep up with social media. But there is a lot of movement for vloggers and IGers who make money off of children in regards to protective laws. It will take time but in the next number of years, they will be there.

mizle10

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 1:51 pm

amother Indigo wrote:

Omg how is it legal to take your kid to the park, to a restaurant or outside at all? There are creeps outside that are looking at your children, how could you possibly subject them to such abuse?!

These scenarios all benefit the child. The pros out weigh the chance of creeps. But still, any mother who would see something off happening in regard to their kid when they’re physically there would remove the child from the situation.

There is literally zero for the child to gain by being posted on social media. It is 100% for the mothers pleasure. And she has no control and is not able to witness who or what is using/looking at those pictures.

amother

Coral

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 2:08 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

Pictures of kids are everywhere, on school’s websites, at any big events they go to, any events with videographers, any weddings, no way to keep pictures private. I don’t think posting a cute picture of my kid playing or designing something on my Facebook page is such a huge risk.

I filled out a form that the school can't use my kids pictures on their websites. supposedly we are the only family who did. I've said things at library events with photographers... we don't want our kids posted online and I have yet to hear of a picture of them online.