Go into debt for IVF with sif-yay or nay

amother

OP ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 2:24 pm

We have the option to do IVF now or never for SIF. My fertile window is closing. But we don't have the money. We can borrow the money but it means going into debt for it. And we've looked into every possible avenue from different insurances to any organizations. Our only option is to borrow the money to pay for it.
My heart says we want to try every avenue to have another child, but my head says we don't have the money and shouldn't we try and save for the children we do have. And do I really want to deal with the whole emotional and physical toll of IVF?
WWYD?

amother

Wandflower

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 2:28 pm

What helps me make decisions is consider what happens if I don't make it.

In 2 or 5 years, if you don't do ivf, how would you feel?

amother

Cappuccino

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 2:31 pm

I did other - I am 29 with one child and SIF for reference

To me it would depend on a bunch of factors:

- What your finances look like - how long will this take you to pay back? What is your day to day financial situation?
- What kind of debt this will be (gemach vs Helloc vs cc debt) and will it sink you financially ( I would not do cc debt but a gmach or family loan would be an option)
- What are the sucess chances?
- How many kids do you have ( 1/2 would lean more towards yes, 3/4 would lean towards no)
- Do you have both genders?

I would go into debt as long at is not crushing debt that would destroy our financial future. But real intense heavy debt when success is not guaranteed, is not something I would do.

amother

Snow ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 2:36 pm

When I decided I wanted it hard enough and was willing to go into debt (opened an interest free credit card) hashem helped and I had the whole funds by the time I finished.

Really it’s specific to your situation. How many kids do you have? How young is your youngest?

The money it costs for ivf is only a fraction of what it costs to raise a kid, you need to look if you can afford the full package.

Also be aware that it’s not guaranteed and you should prepare mentally for that.

amother

Oxfordblue

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 2:42 pm

Depends: are you talking about kid #2 or #5? I did it till I had a second and then decided it was time to focus on the kids I have and not focusing on treatment

amother

Silver

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 2:43 pm

Radical idea - get a part time job at Starbucks. They cover IVF and I know that many people work there just for that reason.

https://www.starbucksbenefits......ment/

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 2:49 pm

Our chance of success is around 30%, which sounds low on paper and yes I know it might not work for us.
We have 3 children already, only one gender and my 'baby' is over 6. We've been ttc for a while and there's always the chance it could work naturally, but I don't know if our chance of naturally is lower than our chances with IVF.
I don't know if I will look back in a few years and regret it if we didn't do it, or I will accept that we made the decision we did.
This is not something I can discuss with family and friends so it's interesting hearing different views on the subject other than mainly talking it over with dh until we feel we're going round in circles. We have people to advise us, which is why we've come to consider it, as from a medical point of view it makes sense. But we also need to consider the financial (and emotional) aspects which is I guess individual.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 2:51 pm

amother Silver wrote:

Radical idea - get a part time job at Starbucks. They cover IVF and I know that many people work there just for that reason.

https://www.starbucksbenefits......ment/

Lol, I'm not sure whether this is more impossible than making aliyah or not. There's no other financial options than taking out a serious loan for this.

amother

Moccasin

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 2:54 pm

Wow. I get you.
I have one Precious son, b"h. We tried 2 cycles in the last few months, now taking a break to replenish emotionally and $$. We're barely getting help from Org at this point. Rav said he'll help....
IF you still have a chance, go for it

davening for you.

amother

Blush

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 3:00 pm

We made the decision not to do IVF. There was alot that went into the decision, and our Rav was very not in favor (of IVF). We had more than one child, and they were the same gender.
We ended up having one more child (without IVF), also of the same gender (which totally blew the doctors we'd been to. Our chances were considered extremely low.) It was a real miracle.

I don't think anyone can make this decision for you OP.

amother

Black

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 3:08 pm

Is your only chance of conceiving with IVF?

could you try clomid, injectables or other fertility treatments that are significantly less expensive?

amother

↑ Clear

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 3:16 pm

On the one hand, will going into debt for doing it negatively affect raising the children you have already?
On the other hand, how will you feel a few years down the road, if you didn't do it?

amother

Starflower ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 3:31 pm

I would not go into debt. I'm in a similar situation with two kids of the same gender. Also, before going into debt, look into the alternative medicine world.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 3:43 pm

amother Black wrote:

Is your only chance of conceiving with IVF?

could you try clomid, injectables or other fertility treatments that are significantly less expensive?

Medically, doing anything other than IVF would be wasting our time and money, unfortunately.

I know no one else can make that decision whether we should or shouldn't, but all the different viewpoints can sometimes help me question my hesitations for and against to help make that decision.

amother

Freesia

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 3:47 pm

amother Starflower wrote:

I would not go into debt. I'm in a similar situation with two kids of the same gender. Also, before going into debt, look into the alternative medicine world.

If one can only conceive with ivf, no amount of alternative medicine will do it.