Telling coworkers I'm pregnant

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Forum -> Working Women -> Work at Home Mothers

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amother

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 12:35 pm

I am only 5 weeks pregnant and I'm being haunted by the fact that I'll have to tell my coworkers that I'm expecting.

For context, I have 4 children in a remote office where there is only one other frum woman (who had her kids before starting here a few years back, like me) and the idea of having 5 kids is nuts! They think I'm like a superhero for having as many as I do already.

We work on small teams of 5-10 people, fully remote, so it's not like in the past when I worked in person, where I officially told my frum boss by email, friends in person, and everyone else figured it out.

Anyone have similar situation and how did you handle it?

amother

Mulberry

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 1:05 pm

I’ve only had one child so far but have a very similar work situation - corporate nonjewish company, remote job, coworkers have small families. In my case when I was pregnant I told my manager a few months before my due date. Close to my due date, she asked my permission and mentioned it at a team meeting to let everyone know, people said congratulations and we discussed reassigning my workload. I’ve had other coworkers say it themselves at team meetings.

I wouldn’t overthink what they’ll think of you. Just be casual about it and it won’t be a big deal.

amother

Candycane

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 1:14 pm

I would wait a while as it isn't relevant to share at this time. You can share it yourself at a meeting or just send an email out stating the facts. I would share it with your manager before your coworkers.
Their reactions are not your problem. They may look or say a comment once but then they'd move on.

amother

Hibiscus

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 1:18 pm

I'm also in a secular workplace, partially WFH and partially in office.

I tell my boss first, usually after the first trimester. Coworkers can wait until we're doing work plans and we have to figure out coverage.

In general, I try really hard to keep my relationships with coworkers cordial and professional. But at the end of the day, if they don't like or approve of big families, that's not my problem. And if people pester you for details or in a way that makes you uncomfortable, it's ok IMO to deflect questions or (as a last resort) politely ask how this relates to the work your company does and if it's unrelated, you'd prefer not to discuss it.

Edited to add: I agree that most people are wrapped up in their own issues and probably don't care that much outside of it affecting the work they'll do while you're out.

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