DS hates school | Imamother

amother

Mon, Sep 09 2024, 7:20 pm

DS 10 has ADHD but with lots of parenting work and patience, he is bH doing very well at home. At school he behaves, but is just plain miserable. He hates going and drags his feet every morning, and comes home almost in tears every day that the day is just soooo long and boring. His teachers are wonderful and do the best they can to make things stimulating and accomodate him with movement breaks, less writing, etc. but he still just hates being caged in a rigid environment for so many hours a day. When he comes home, he drops his backpack and runs outside to play with the neighborhood kids until bedtime. He's always on the go and being stuck in school all day feels like prison to him.

What can I do to help him be less miserable? There's the camp that says too bad, he needs to learn to deal with real life. But on the other hand, it just doesn't feel right for this kid to have to suffer like this for so long.

Meds are tricky because he also has anxiety so we wouldn't be able to do stimulants and I'm really hesitant to go down that rabbit hole, especially because he's doing wonderfully at home, so just to drug him up so he can sit through school?

Any advice?

amother

Offwhite ↓

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 5:15 am

Have you tried meds?
My ds has adhd and anxiety. The meds actually helped his anxiety alot. His adhd symptoms caused him to feel very out of control with the meds he was calmer and in control and this helped him be less anxious.
Also, exercise is really important for kids with adhd. There was a point where we took my son swimming or biking before school and it really helped. Can this be a possibility?

amother

↑ Offwhite

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 5:16 am

amother DarkCyan wrote:

Im so sorry.

We had the same last year with my 10 y o. I could have written your post!

It is so hard. Hugs. I feel for you.

Did things change since last year?
What helped?

amother

Tuberose

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 6:19 am

You can try supplements. They can actually help with anxiety as well as ability to sit and focus. The book Finally Focused is great at explaining how the supplements work and which would be a good choice for your child.

amother

↑ DarkCyan

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 6:59 am

amother Offwhite wrote:

Did things change since last year?
What helped?

My son has ASD so we are not on any meds.

We havent looked into anxiety meds but I wonder if it would ever be an option

Hes just started the new year.
Im super nervous.

naomi2

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 8:13 am

Consider scheduling a mental health day for him every x number of weeks. It may give him the refreshment that he needs. Even if it's a every 2 or three weeks but it has to be scheduled in advance, never in the morning or he may start taking advantage and refuse to go to school regularly. Or if he can't miss a whole day, maybe he can miss just the morning or afternoon

amother

Lightyellow

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 8:37 am

Same issue! My son is active, bright, curious. But the long days, rigid structure and boring routine of cheder make him miserable! If only the system can be changed to add in more physical activities, different subjects like music or art or wood working or hands on learning.... It's not realistic to expect 6, 7, 8 year old boys to sit in a desk and learn from 9-4:30!