DOEIHU please read disclaimer

singleagain ↓

Fri, Sep 06 2024, 5:34 am

I did read through the whole thing. And while an interesting read, the fact that there are case by case understandings of what might be considered too friendly, and even when things might be too curt.... I noticed it didn't say anything about office culture which has a big role in any job.

Now no one should ever take a job if they don't like the office culture as that will kill their soul.

But if you're in a certain industry that has large industry wide conferences and things that you must go to in order to succeed or you need to do business with another company that has a different company culture, you better consider the culture when you go there and not be so rigid.

Also, there is something really really frustrating about not being called by the name I want to be called by. So if I ask ppl to call me "single" and you call me "miss again" it will leave a bad taste in my mouth. Or if you come into my office and then very obviously and deliberately don't make eye contact, it will again leave a bad taste in my mouth.

So, I think it's also very important to consider what/how you're behavior and actions will impact the person you are interacting with. Especially in business' where networking and word of mouth is important.

There is also a lot of emphasis in Torah about how to treat ppl decently. You shouldn't be so super strict on bein adam l'makom that you end up being over on being adam l'chavero.

↑ Ruchi ↓

Fri, Sep 06 2024, 5:41 am

Elfrida wrote:

Looking further through the website, I came across this regarding the authorship of the emails.

The content of these emails was written and reviewed by Talmidei Chachomim and renowned Dayanim, and is under the guidance of the renowned Posek Harav Yechiel Mechil Steinmetz Shlit'a, Dayan of Kehillas Skvere BP and author of Shu't Meishiv Nevonim.

I would agree that they aim to reach as wide an audience as possible, but these emails are written from a chassidish perspective, based off chassidish sources as well as more widely used sefarim. (The use of the word Poskim on the header of the emails, changed for Dayanim on the website is very interesting.) Other communities would be advised to consult with their own Rabbanim about practical applications.

If the organisation and non chassidish rabonim and Poskim are involved and so are the bulk of subscribers, then I can hardly believe that the halachos presented, are to be made away or extreme.

Of course, if you have a מורה הוראה you should always discuss the halochas of the workplace with him, so that any potential pitfalls can be avoided. However, it's important to have prior knowledge to be forearmed and actually know what is an issue and what isn't.

↑ Ruchi ↓

Fri, Sep 06 2024, 5:43 am

singleagain wrote:

This was today's email. The entire spectrum gets covered, from yichud to work culture and everything in between.

↑ Elfrida ↓

Fri, Sep 06 2024, 5:47 am

Ruchi wrote:

If the organisation and non chassidish rabonim and Poskim are involved and so are the bulk of subscribers, then I can hardly believe that the halachos presented, are to be made away or extreme.

Please do not misrepresent me. I said that a Rav should be presented about practical applications, not that the halacha is to be made away with.

The only name given in the website is that of a chassidish Rav. There is no evidence presented that other, non-chassidish Rabbanim are involved.

↑ Ruchi ↓

Fri, Sep 06 2024, 5:52 am

Elfrida wrote:

Why don't you contact them to find out who the other Rabonim and Poskim are?

↑ singleagain ↓

Fri, Sep 06 2024, 6:01 am

Ruchi wrote:

This was today's email. The entire spectrum gets covered, from yichud to work culture and everything in between.

What exactly was your point in reposting today's email?

This was posted as a copy paste and no explanation or indication that this was an email from a series and that there are more topics, maybe even more in depth topics.

Even your subject line "Only read if you will not respond derogatory" does not give much indication of what you were hoping to get out of your thread, and indeed your thread title comes off as defensive, as though you know you are posting something which gets under ppl's skin. But you don't explain why you are posting this.

So, I'd like to ask you:
1. What promoted you to post this thread?
2. What were you hoping to accomplish with this thread?
3. Why did you just copy and paste without any more information.

↑ Ruchi ↓

Fri, Sep 06 2024, 6:07 am

singleagain wrote:

If you don't appreciate this type of halacha subject, that's fine , but you don't need to nitpick and interrogate me like this.
Unfortunately on this platform, many times ppl post derogatory comments in connection with such types of things, so I gave the heads-up in advance by putting it in the subject line.

↑ shabbatiscoming ↓

Fri, Sep 06 2024, 6:11 am

Ruchi wrote:

Next time I think it would be k'dai to post this in the chassidish or charedi section.

Then you will be "preaching to the choir".

↑ singleagain ↓

Fri, Sep 06 2024, 6:13 am

Ruchi wrote:

I wasn't aware that asking a 3 questions about your intention on starting a post is considered an interrogation. Nor was I aware that pointing things out about the culture of this website is nitpicking.

Yes, you gave a heads up, but this is a public portion of a private website with no huge restrictions on the type of content beyond the regular site rules.

Often it is easy to understand why someone starts a thread based on their subject line and the content of their first post.

In this case I was unclear so I she'd a few questions which weren't answered, so I'm going to ask again

1. What promoted you to post this thread?
2. What were you hoping to accomplish with this thread?
3. Why did you just copy and paste without any more information.

↑ B'Syata D'Shmya

Fri, Sep 06 2024, 6:37 am

singleagain wrote:

1. does one need to elucidate what prompted them to post something?
2. does one need to explain what they were hoping to accomplish by starting a post on SM?
3. is it against any rule or foil some vast eternal plan to copy and past on a post (without any more information).

If you dont like what she posted, you can move on. Why respond as if she were guilty of some nefarious plan?
I think she meant well. End of story. Nothing to see here beyond the obvious.

↑ singleagain ↓

Fri, Sep 06 2024, 6:37 am

Ruchi wrote:

Read it, don't like it, don't agree with it, have an issue about it, not applicable to you. move on. Next.

I was trying to engage in a conversation and dialogue. You do not have to be so rude and defensive just because someone asks a few questions.

Questions are a staple of our religion.

If this wasn't meant to be a dialogue you could have posted a PSA or at least said somewhere in your first post that this was just for sharing purposes or something.

↑ Ruchi ↓

Fri, Sep 06 2024, 6:43 am

singleagain wrote:

Anything that's posted is for sharing purposes. Isn't that self explanatory?

Don't accuse me of being rude when I am being questioned by an FBI Agent.
Did I commit a crime that my intentions and motives need to be questioned?

This was taking it too far and was not respectful.

↑ singleagain ↓

Fri, Sep 06 2024, 6:46 am

B'Syata D'Shmya wrote:

1. It actually very helpful to explain what you are looking to get out of a post. This is why we often suggest to say "just a vent" or "help me problem solve" when posting about certain matters. Without clear topic sentence it's difficult to invite what you are getting into
2. It can help inform your audience if you explain what prompted the post. For instance, we recently had another thread about work place boundaries. Was that the prompt? Did something happen in real life? A TV show? Especially without a clear topic sentence, an explanation helps ppl understand a little bit more of your prescriptive.
3. To copy/paste links and articles without explanations on why you are doing so, especially when you are posting defensive/something that is a hot button topic does come off as either lazy or trollish.

Especially in a website like this where the whole manner of the website is interactional and dialogue based. This isn't like Facebook or Instagram where ppl subscribe to your profile bc they want to hear what you have to say. This is a place to exchange ideas and have discussions. So shutting down a discussion is the anthesis of the website.

I never said there is anything nefarious, I'm not sure how you even came to that conclusion that my questions were nefarious. I was simply asking for clarity.