I just started working and need chizuk

amother

OP ↓

Thu, Sep 05 2024, 2:00 pm

Im exhausted and now I need to make shabbos.
Im only working from 8:30- 3, but I don't know how people do it. I have been a sahm for a few years now and need the parnasah so started working part time.
I really don't know how everyone does it.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Sep 05 2024, 2:03 pm

amother Magenta wrote:

I cook one thing for shabbos every day of the week so it's not all left to Thurs Night. Cool more on Sunday if you have time and freeze.

I am not that organized LOL

I can barely get myself to make dinner every night. I used to work full time when I had a couple kids and I remember how organized I used to be. Now I want to just come home and relax with my kids.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Sep 05 2024, 2:11 pm

amother Navy wrote:

It's very normal to be exhausted when starting to work and you haven't been working. I have this all the time.

I know. This is my 1st hard day in a couple weeks of working so I think I am doing ok.
Thanks for the validation:)

amother

SandyBrown

Thu, Sep 05 2024, 2:16 pm

I didn't just start working and still need chizzuk Smile

Organization? Ehh. I just do things when I realize no one's coming to do it for me.
Some nights I cheat and do takeout, like this whole week, and Shabbos happens sometime between Thursday afternoon and the early Friday AM hours.

Don't be hard on yourself, most of us don't manage either.

amother

↑ Magenta

Thu, Sep 05 2024, 2:18 pm

amother OP wrote:

I am not that organized LOL

I can barely get myself to make dinner every night. I used to work full time when I had a couple kids and I remember how organized I used to be. Now I want to just come home and relax with my kids.

Don't we all...

NotInNJMommy

Thu, Sep 05 2024, 2:47 pm

Cereal is an acceptable dinner once a week lol. That’s what got me through the tough weeks, months, years.

More recently, I don’t make dinner Thursday nights. It’s on dh to make something or get take out. It just kind of evolved into that.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Sep 05 2024, 3:41 pm

Thank you everyone.
I am also really struggling because I see that working and being stressed after a long day is really making me a terrible mother. I am a great mother when I can just focus on my home. I am irritable, on edge, can't get everything done in the house. I also have a high needs child who is struggling in school right now. I have to spend a lot of time communicating with his school and I am drained.

amother

Green

Thu, Sep 05 2024, 3:52 pm

Give yourself time to adjust! It's hard, but I actually find I'm more organized/on top of things when working - I think I just need the schedule. That being said, I'm the queen of easy and quick suppers...

amother

↑ Navy

Thu, Sep 05 2024, 3:55 pm

amother OP wrote:

School just started and maybe this is draining you, the stress of the school issues with this child.

I have a kid like this and it is very physically and emotionally draining. I actually stopped working for a time because of him.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Sep 05 2024, 3:58 pm

amother Navy wrote:

Yes, its just everything combined. I had to spend time speaking to the school today and still have to speak to a teacher tonight. All while trying to make shabbos, do laundry, pack lunches, put everyone to bed, etc.
I just want to sit on the couch and cry.

gamanit

Thu, Sep 05 2024, 4:03 pm

Adjusting to change is always hard and takes time. You'll get used to your new schedule. You may also need to lower your housekeeping standards. You simply don't have enough hours to maintain your home to the same level as when you were home all day. It's ok to cook a "real" supper only once a week (or less) and do simpler stuff (like ziti in a pot, scrambled eggs with salad on the side) other days. Pizza is an option too.

PinkFridge

Thu, Sep 05 2024, 5:43 pm

Do you have a freezer? You can make stuff and freeze it.
But a nice rice mix, mock Yerushalmi kugel, oven baked farfel, sliced potatoes under chicken, other, are all delightful starches for Shabbos too.
You'll find a lot of shortcuts. Just try that whatever they are, they're not recipes you make during the week so they'll be special for Shabbos. And your Shabbos will be just as special, iyH.
Hatzlachah!

amother

Ultramarine

Thu, Sep 05 2024, 6:49 pm

amother OP wrote:

1) 8:30-3 is not part time
2) There is no way to do it
3) I do it and there is no way to do it.
4) I do it, there is no way to do it, and nobody looking at me would know that.
5) It probably will always be too hard. Family has constant needs, if it's not one thing it's the other. Or it's yom tov etc.
6) I will still do it. because I don't have an alternative at this second, but I"m working on one.
7) Anyone who tells you it is not a problem is either a)lying b)gets tons of help and is making alot so is able to afford even more help c) is dysfunctional d)doesn't know how a normal mother is supposed to look like.

amother

↑ OP

Thu, Sep 05 2024, 7:26 pm

amother Ultramarine wrote:

It is part time, but not super part time.
Thank you. Bh I feel good to be able to help bring in income for my family, but I wish I could just be home still. I do think I need to get cleaning help, but I am cringing at paying for it.

Frumwithallergies

Thu, Sep 05 2024, 7:53 pm

OP, know that you are not alone! There are tons of us out there scrambling to feed our families and help with homework while juggling laundry, Shabbos prep and more.

I myself have been trying to make crockpot meals (usually soups), and batch cook. I also love the BCP and kosher.com sheet pan meals and one-pot meals (there are other websites too).

Also, my kids have also learned to help out more; even my husband steps up sometimes.

All this to day, this website is the best place for advice and venting! If there are suggestions to be had, you will find them here.

synthy

Thu, Sep 05 2024, 8:47 pm

It’s hard but you’ll learn shortcuts with time and it will become so much easier.
I was literally just discussing it with my sahm neighbors. We have such different ways of doing things… for example, it takes the, 2-3 hours to cook supper. For me it’s never more than 10-15 minutes prep, 2 hours MAX inactive cooking time but usually no more than a half hour. I’m sure both are delicious and nutritious but it’s a different style of doing things, which takes time to learn. You’ll get there 🙂.