Playgroup dilemma | Imamother

amother

OP ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 11:16 pm

Hey all! I could really use advice!
I registered my 2.3 year old daughter to playgroup a few months ago. I heard nice regards about the place, teacher sounded nice etc…She told me there would be 14-15 kids in the class.

Now she called me to tell me the start date and orientation, and asked me if my daughter is potty trained. She got upset when I told her she wasn’t, and said it was a requirement she somehow forgot to tell me. I actually tried to train her in the beginning of the summer and it was a miserable fail - and I decided I’d try around Chanuka. I didn’t think it was a problem since most playgroups don’t require it.
She said I should try to train her beginning next week (playgroup starts thur). If I absolutely can’t I could wait till after sukkos.

She also casually mentioned the class had 19 girls. I’m not sure but I think it’s one teacher and 2 assistants.

So my question is, do I quickly try to train her? I really don’t see it working. She’ll feel silly being one of the only ones not trained.

Really do t know what to do.
All advice appreciated

amother

Peach ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 11:18 pm

2.3 is way too young to train. Even if you try it probably wont work and will just create negative feelings regarding potty training

It's on the teacher for not being very clear about it from the beginning

teachkids ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 11:38 pm

Who runs a 2 year old playgroup and expects the kids to be trained?!
3 year old class makes a bit of sense, even if I disagree, but most 2 year olds arent potty trained.

Are there other 2 year old groups in town that you could get into? Do you think she has too many and she's trying to kick kids out?

notshanarishona

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 12:50 am

2 is very young to be toilet trained. Unless this is a 3’s class I would fight that. It’s an unreasonable expectation that most kids probably aren’t ready for. If you can find another playgroup that might be your best option. It doesn’t sound like this person is the best at communicating and you haven’t even started

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 11:15 am

tichellady wrote:

Someone working with kids should not expect all 2 year olds to be potty trained in my opinion. This is a red flag to me

The oldest kids are turning 3 in January. She claims that she tries to run it like a pre-nursery more than a playgroup so that’s why she wants the kids toilet trained… it’s a week before school starts so really difficult to find another group now, but I’m really not liking her vibe.

ewwpeas20

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 12:07 pm

I'm a morah. I would not expect a kid that young to be toilet trained. They're more ready when they are closer to 3. That morah's behavior doesn't sound very good. And besides from toilet training part she needs to improvise communicating with the parents.

Last edited by ewwpeas20 on Thu, Aug 29 2024, 12:09 pm; edited 1 time in total

ShishKabob

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 12:09 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

This, the last sentence for sure.

balance

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 12:37 pm

I would be worried about her pushing your daughter too hard to act like a 3 yr old. Not only about toilet training but it will come up with other things as well.
Try and find a different group.

Editing to add, I don't believe for a minute that she has 19 kids where the oldest is 2 and 9 mths and they are all toilet trained.

amother

Maroon

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 12:43 pm

Wow this sends so many red flags. I would pull her out of the playgroup.
She sounds like a manipulator and a liar. Unfortunately I had a similar experience with a playgroup morah. She told me it was a group of 12 kids. There were over 20 parents picking up on the first day. When I confronted her she started yelling at me. There was a lot more and I ended up pulling out. And this woman had so many good references when I did research before signing up 🙄

amother

Pink

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 11:10 pm

amother OP wrote:

I worked in a professional preschool
Prenursery was not expected to be potty trained.
We did require it in the nursery class( where they were turning 4 starting January)

I would be wary since she really doesn’t seem to know age appropriate vibes…

imasinger

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 11:15 pm

Think of it this way.

It hurts to lose that much money, but in the long run, it may hurt less than DD being in a setting that makes the family unhappy.

Start looking for an alternative that you like better. Work hard, and don't lose focus. If you can't find something better, you're no worse off than you are right now, and if you do find something, it's worth the loss.

amother

Crimson

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 11:18 pm

I would pull out. I don't believe in training kids when they're not ready. It doesn't make any sense that all the kids are potty trained. My daughter is 3 and 1/2 now. This past year she was in a class where the kids were just about her age. She was one of the last children's trained since I only trained her this summer but I believe 13/15 were in diapers in the begining of the year. She sounds not nice honestly.

Since I don't believe in training a child just because the school requires that they are, it's usually a question I ask when signing up. I'm pretty upfront about it. I tell them straight out that my child is not to other trained and until they're ready I'm not even going to try. I've never had a playgroup give me an issue.

amother

↑ Peach ↓

Fri, Aug 30 2024, 8:47 am

amother Navy wrote:

Pear presser, if you send her in a pull up and everyone goes to the bathroom it might motivate her to be trained.

I think it's so wrong to put that kind of pressure on her. It's not developmentally appropriate and she does not need "motivation." Very unfair to put her in an environment where she will feel pressure and anxiety and embarrassment to do something she should not be doing at this stage!

amother

↑ Peach

Fri, Aug 30 2024, 8:48 am

amother OP wrote:

For starters I already gave a deposit (half a month)…and it’s so difficult to find something now. Ugh I really don’t know what to do.

I've lost deposits before. I struggle financially and its not easy. But when I sign up months in advance it's with the knowledge that things could possibly change and I may lose the deposit