Teenage boys mixed swimming

amother

OP ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 12:51 pm

If you are middle of the road frum ( not yeshivish and not modox ) how do you feel about your sons swimming in a mixed setting ?

Do you make a distinction between the general beach or family friendly resorts?

Interested to hear opinions and common practices.

amother

Black ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 12:58 pm

We do not. First of all its outright halacha men & women not swimming in same pool/section of water/bathtub. Second, visual lack of tznius issue.

We try to do family activities accordingly to what works for everyone.

amother

Honeysuckle

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 1:13 pm

amother OP wrote:

We are a middle of the road family. Our rav told us no more mixed swimming after age 6 for boys. We would not allow our son to swim in a mixed setting and he would feel very uncomfortable. We are middle of the road- our son watches/play sports, reads secular books.. Not ok for a teen boy to see women in bikinis and swim suits.

amother

↑ Black ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 1:27 pm

A link in trying to clarify this-

https://www.localjewishnews.co.....ming/

It has come to our attention that there may be some confusion regarding the permissibility of swimming in a mixed pool. It is prohibited for a female to swim in a pool where males are present, regardless of their swim apparel. Males too may not swim in a pool where female swimmers are present. We are fortunate that our community does afford a few opportunities for separate gender swimming in communal pools, as well as several private pools.

It behooves us all to strive to live up to the Torah’s standards. And only enjoy pool activities that are permitted by the Torah.

amother

Peru

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 1:31 pm

I never heard that it says in the torah that boys and girls can't be in the same body of water (if the girl is tznius) can someone post where it says that?

amother

DarkKhaki

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 1:32 pm

Really interesting all the responses. When I was at the waterpark in American dream this summer, I saw quite a few frum boys and men (with their families).

Goody2shoes ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 1:34 pm

amother Peru wrote:

I never heard that it says in the torah that boys and girls can't be in the same body of water (if the girl is tznius) can someone post where it says that?

Lo Sasuru Acharei Levavchem Vacharei Eyneichem.

↑ Goody2shoes

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 1:36 pm

amother DarkKhaki wrote:

Really interesting all the responses. When I was at the waterpark in American dream this summer, I saw quite a few frum boys and men (with their families).

We're not attempting to pass judgement on those who were there, there are different poskim who hold different things.
All of us who are responding are the ones who weren't there Smile

amother

↑ Black ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 1:40 pm

amother DarkKhaki wrote:

Really interesting all the responses. When I was at the waterpark in American dream this summer, I saw quite a few frum boys and men (with their families).

There are many people (almost everyone) who don't know everything that there is to know. We all know parts. We all are still learning things.

Bnei Berak 10

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 2:04 pm

amother Black wrote:

Thanks for posting this link!

Ruchel ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 2:31 pm

There have been heterim for health, often going with goggles or taking off glasses for the male.

I'd go as parents and children.

Now, a group of people dressed tzniusdik, I'd allow if I trust the "mood". Especially cousins etc.

The beach? No way

amother

Nasturtium ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 4:45 pm

amother DarkKhaki wrote:

Really interesting all the responses. When I was at the waterpark in American dream this summer, I saw quite a few frum boys and men (with their families).

Same here in Kartrite resort this past week.

amother

↑ Nasturtium

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 4:46 pm

Goody2shoes wrote:

We're not attempting to pass judgement on those who were there, there are different poskim who hold different things.
All of us who are responding are the ones who weren't there Smile

There are poskim who say it’s ok but people are claiming it’s outright Halacha? Both cannot be true.

amother

↑ Black ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 5:30 pm

amother Nasturtium wrote:

There are poskim who say it’s ok but people are claiming it’s outright Halacha? Both cannot be true.

Not even MO Rabbanim give permission for mixed swimming.

Just because things are common doesn't mean that its rabbinically approved.

There are medical style heterim, like for a lifeguard to complete certification. Or a male lifeguard at womens swim because no other lifeguard are available. A child to learn to swim if they are still below 12/13 if no one else can teach. The type doctors get for their jobs. Not for leisure.

If I'm wrong let me know which Rabbi said what.

amother

↑ OP

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 6:29 pm

amother Black wrote:

This is an opinion posted by a rav. I don't see a halachah quoted.

amother

↑ Black

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 10:57 pm

amother OP wrote:

This is an opinion posted by a rav. I don't see a halachah quoted.

I didn't see an opinion. I saw a psak. The Rav didn't quote the source of the halacha but he said what it is.

In any case you should probably ask your own Rav. (And if you do please update us).

amother

Hyssop

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 11:01 pm

amother Nasturtium wrote:

Same here in Kartrite resort this past week.

So then what were you doing there if females shouldn't be there even if dressed appropriately?