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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
amother
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 Wed, Aug 28 2024, 9:46 am
We’re a young couple, one kid bh, married bout a year and trying to save for a house. Seems like buying before tuition is the way to go and that’s what we Bezh want to do
I see a lot of threads where ppl who are making a lot less than us or the same but have a few kids are saving much more
We have a budget and pretty much stick to it but we also are not going to penny pinch and count every dollar if we don’t have to. For example, instead of trying to find cheapest baby clothes that r not ugly but not so cute, which I’ve done in the past, this time I bought a few that I liked even though it was a little more expensive. At the same time, I buy target pjs and cheaper brand diapers, wipes, undershirts, etc. We have cheap rent for our area and own our (older but nice looking) car. I buy for myself mostly on sale
It seems like penny pinching is the way to go if you want to save hard, but it’s much harder to enjoy life that way! If we can afford to go out to eat every once in a while, why not?
Do you agree? What’s your take on it? What do you do?
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amother
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 9:52 am
Hey OP I’m in the same life stage. It’s truly a way of life and I like penny pinching - it gives me a rise and it’s exciting to get closer to your down payment goal.
We still order take out once a week and go out to dinner for big occasions. But we are happy with a $70 dine-in meal, it doesn’t need to be expensive. It’s all about moderation. Like get your insurance as low as possible, phone bills as low as possible. Spend the absolute least you can on stuff you don’t care about. But spend what you want on stuff that’s important to you.
It’s easy to do meaningless shopping, especially with a new baby. So just be aware of that. Shop at primark for cheap baby clothes
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amother
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 9:55 am
| amother OP wrote: | We’re a young couple, one kid bh, married bout a year and trying to save for a house. Seems like buying before tuition is the way to go and that’s what we Bezh want to do
I see a lot of threads where ppl who are making a lot less than us or the same but have a few kids are saving much more
We have a budget and pretty much stick to it but we also are not going to penny pinch and count every dollar if we don’t have to. For example, instead of trying to find cheapest baby clothes that r not ugly but not so cute, which I’ve done in the past, this time I bought a few that I liked even though it was a little more expensive. At the same time, I buy target pjs and cheaper brand diapers, wipes, undershirts, etc. We have cheap rent for our area and own our (older but nice looking) car. I buy for myself mostly on sale
It seems like penny pinching is the way to go if you want to save hard, but it’s much harder to enjoy life that way! If we can afford to go out to eat every once in a while, why not?
Do you agree? What’s your take on it? What do you do? |
I think the question is also, how much are you saving per month? And do you want to save more?
You don’t need to deprive yourself unless you feel like you really need to. It comes down to the numbers
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amother
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 9:55 am
For me, what works is setting a budget for extras. That could be buying myself new clothes even though my oldmclothes still fit, or going out to eat. You can't do it all if you're trying to save. You can't buy the nicer baby clothes and buy extra clothes for yourself and go out to eat all at once if you're on a budget and want to save. You just won't be saving much that way.
So either set an amount, and don't go over that with your extras, or just balance yourself and say I just bought this and not was a little extra, so maybe we won't go out to eat this month.
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amother
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 10:00 am
| amother Aubergine wrote: | I think the question is also, how much are you saving per month? And do you want to save more?
You don’t need to deprive yourself unless you feel like you really need to. It comes down to the numbers |
Before the baby I was working and we saved between 1500 and 2k a month, depended since we had to prep for baby
Now since the baby I’m not working anymore, it’s been less, this past month we only saved a few hundred. But Bezh starting this month I’m going to be doing something which will bring in some more
We have so far about 30k saved but I feel like it can be much more but ugh it’s so hard
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amother
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 10:04 am
| amother Blushpink wrote: | For me, what works is setting a budget for extras. That could be buying myself new clothes even though my oldmclothes still fit, or going out to eat. You can't do it all if you're trying to save. You can't buy the nicer baby clothes and buy extra clothes for yourself and go out to eat all at once if you're on a budget and want to save. You just won't be saving much that way.
So either set an amount, and don't go over that with your extras, or just balance yourself and say I just bought this and not was a little extra, so maybe we won't go out to eat this month. |
We have a budget for extras, like deoderant, toilet paper, formula, a fun activity for ourselves. We used to have a separate shopping and eating out budget but since baby we merged it all together.
But if a place is having a major sale on something I need, I’ll buy it even if it’s a little over the extras budget bec if I buy it in a few months when I’ll be using it I’ll pay 100 instead of 25
The hardest part is that my husband will let me buy stuff if I want it as long as it’s reasonable and we can do it. So it’s on me to really have the self control
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amother
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 10:06 am
| amother Aubergine wrote: | Hey OP I’m in the same life stage. It’s truly a way of life and I like penny pinching - it gives me a rise and it’s exciting to get closer to your down payment goal.
We still order take out once a week and go out to dinner for big occasions. But we are happy with a $70 dine-in meal, it doesn’t need to be expensive. It’s all about moderation. Like get your insurance as low as possible, phone bills as low as possible. Spend the absolute least you can on stuff you don’t care about. But spend what you want on stuff that’s important to you.
It’s easy to do meaningless shopping, especially with a new baby. So just be aware of that. Shop at primark for cheap baby clothes |
The baby shopping is so hard. Have to check out primark, but baby is at the stage where still wearing footies. Will be easier once I’m able to buy sweats and tshirts
We don’t do expensive eating out. We’ll go somewhere midrange and split, not buy drinks just water, etc but if I want a drink my husband will say get it! lol
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amother
Cappuccino
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 10:13 am
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Penny pinching only works up until a certain point. Once you start with tuition like you mentioned all the pinching in the world won’t help. This really is the only stage to save so please keep it up. Your future you will appreciate the 5K more than all the clothing in 5 years. Please make sure you invest your savings so you don’t lose money over time.
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care4u
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 10:41 am
It's up to you.
You can splurge on extras or save more and buy bigger/sooner.
Not complicated.
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amother
Starflower
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 10:51 am
really everything in life that is worth doing takes a certain element of difficulty. You can choose to enjoy now and not later - it's a choice. Or you can choose to save now, sacrifice a little now, and have the investment for later. If saving was just about living your life and storing up money, it would be a doddle. the thing is you have to have self control and work on it, give up on some things. Not everyone can do it.
I worked at evetything that came my way when my kids were tiny including babysitting in the evenings, ironing, office work, typing, translating. It was hard but now I have a big family bah and we have our own home and I don't regret it. Now I haven't got time for the extra hours of work because I'm busy with my kids. But if we'd just enjoyed when we were younger we wouldn't be where we are today.
so you can choose to enjoy today and be pressured later on or to sacrifice now for the future. Your choice.
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lamplighter
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 11:12 am
This is definitely the time to save, tuition and older kids cost more. I know you care about your baby's clothes but the baby doesn't. When you have older kids you can get away with a lot less.
The best thing to do is to save first, then budget what's left. Let's say you put away $1000 a month or whatever number you can manage. Each paycheck move the savings into a separate account first, then use the money that's left for your expenses. I found this method much easier than questioning each extra. It also helped me with discipline around spending.
In terms of what to spend on, I would follow the advice above of going cheap cheap on things that matter less to you and a little more on things that matter to you. Priorities and values. Don't ask your DH, he just wants to make you happy and say yes (which is so sweet!) make these cheshbonis yourself. Some people like to decide when they are spending what they are going to go cheap on.
We were very frugal when saving for our house, due to the market and our finances we still compromised big time when we bought. I remember feeling very resentful. If I had to do it over, I would set aside some of the house money for a house splurge as a little gift to myself for my sacrifices over the years. Maybe if I had been less frugal in those years saving, I would not have felt that way. I'm just sharing my honest feelings about balance. Ultimately we did what we needed to. We weren't high earners and had no help so we had to make it work dollar by dollar.
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amother
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 11:54 am
| amother OP wrote: | Before the baby I was working and we saved between 1500 and 2k a month, depended since we had to prep for baby
Now since the baby I’m not working anymore, it’s been less, this past month we only saved a few hundred. But Bezh starting this month I’m going to be doing something which will bring in some more
We have so far about 30k saved but I feel like it can be much more but ugh it’s so hard |
30k is an excellent nest egg.
If you’re saving on average $1750/mo
That’s $21,000/yr
So by next year this time you will have $51,000
And the year following $72,000
Life changes obv and HaShem is in charge. If you want this to increase, the income needs to change or eat rice&beans. If it is enough, then that’s amazing.
My friends have told me that once tuition starts, you can forget having saving expectations. Now is the time!
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amother
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 12:09 pm
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Honestly I was raised to live below my means and I always have despite BH being in my 40s . That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy life though! It just means I’m smart about spending and I spend in a way that brings us joy. BH I have all the ‘things’ I want and we prefer experiences and travel to more things. But even travel: we use points and save up and are smart. You categorize deodorant and toilet paper as extras: they are most certainly NOT extras. They’re necessities. I don’t get the desire to spend more on a babies clothing but you do. It’s ok to spend differently than I do. A perfectly trendily dressed baby may bring you the joy that a weekend away brings me. But my bottom line is, and I heard Dave Ramsey say this and it’s true for me. People like to day, oh I work too hard to ‘penny pinch’, but truth is, I work too hard NOT to! BH I work full time and I know how many hours/days/weeks I have to work on order to afford that xyz. So being careful with spending is natural to me. The desire to spend more if I can spend less is completing foreign. It’s a balance but worth figuring out if you want to reach your goal of buying a house in a few years
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amother
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 12:15 pm
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I think the way to go is to put money in savings automatically and only use the extra money for fun stuff like more expensive clothing and going out to eat
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amother
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 12:21 pm
| amother Oak wrote: | | Honestly I was raised to live below my means and I always have despite BH being in my 40s . That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy life though! It just means I’m smart about spending and I spend in a way that brings us joy. BH I have all the ‘things’ I want and we prefer experiences and travel to more things. But even travel: we use points and save up and are smart. You categorize deodorant and toilet paper as extras: they are most certainly NOT extras. They’re necessities. I don’t get the desire to spend more on a babies clothing but you do. It’s ok to spend differently than I do. A perfectly trendily dressed baby may bring you the joy that a weekend away brings me. But my bottom line is, and I heard Dave Ramsey say this and it’s true for me. People like to day, oh I work too hard to ‘penny pinch’, but truth is, I work too hard NOT to! BH I work full time and I know how many hours/days/weeks I have to work on order to afford that xyz. So being careful with spending is natural to me. The desire to spend more if I can spend less is completing foreign. It’s a balance but worth figuring out if you want to reach your goal of buying a house in a few years |
Right deoderant and toilet paper aren’t extras. I meant misc- the random stuff that r not monthly expenses that pop up every few months will go in that category.
I don’t know how else to plan for it
I don’t buy my baby everything expensive but it is important to me that I have a couple of nicer things so target Amazon old navy and then a couple of lil legs (it’s not even that fancy lol)
For vacations we also save points and 2 of our account get $30 a month just for being open so we save that as well.
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amother
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 12:26 pm
Thanks everyone for your replies
I realized I’m not as big a spender as I thought but def have some room to excercise some self control!
We’ll follow the advice of setting aside savings first and using what’s left
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amother
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 12:35 pm
I don’t get the line about tuition. I work full time and pay $700 a month for babysitting for my baby. Tuition is around the same amount where I live (Lakewood). I started paying tuition as soon as my maternity leave ended, it’s just to a babysitter instead of the school for now.
Why would I be more able to save now than when I switch to paying $7-800 to a school?
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amother
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 12:36 pm
| amother Iris wrote: | I don’t get the line about tuition. I work full time and pay $700 a month for babysitting for my baby. Tuition is around the same amount where I live (Lakewood). I started paying tuition as soon as my maternity leave ended, it’s just to a babysitter instead of the school for now.
Why would I be more able to save now than when I switch to paying $7-800 to a school? |
Same for me but it Sounds like OP stays home with her baby so daycare isn’t an expense of hers
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amother
Lightcoral
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 12:38 pm
| amother OP wrote: | The baby shopping is so hard. Have to check out primark, but baby is at the stage where still wearing footies. Will be easier once I’m able to buy sweats and tshirts
We don’t do expensive eating out. We’ll go somewhere midrange and split, not buy drinks just water, etc but if I want a drink my husband will say get it! lol |
Really it’s very hard to find bad baby clothes as long as the fit is fine.
I have primark and co stuff from multiple kids that just doesn’t die and then, a Jewish store items that shrink and tears after two washes.
If you find cute stuff in cheap stores, go for it! Noone will know. I have a friend whose kids always look cute and her stuff is primark.
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amother
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 12:41 pm
| amother Lightcoral wrote: | Really it’s very hard to find bad baby clothes as long as the fit is fine.
I have primark and co stuff from multiple kids that just doesn’t die and then, a Jewish store items that shrink and tears after two washes.
If you find cute stuff in cheap stores, go for it! Noone will know. I have a friend whose kids always look cute and her stuff is primark. |
Love primark! But I can’t find cute footies that don’t look like pjs
Also need stretchier fabrics cuz baby grows like crazy bh. Need it to last longer than just few weeks
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