Job situation | Imamother

amother

OP ↓

Tue, Aug 27 2024, 1:30 pm

I've always been told things like, don't be married to your job and everyone is replaceable etc.
I was working at a start up company for a long time. I put my all into my job. worked overtime without extra pay, at nights, during vacation times etc. really helped build the company.

recently, I was just getting things thrown on me left and right without any thought. more like the boss wanted to just hand over the reins to me completely and he can just let the money pour in. It was never a discussion, just an expectation...
I started putting my foot down to make it clear that I'm not a shmatta and we can have discussions about my responsibilities and things like that. but all for naught. the few times we did have these discussions it turned into you are getting paid so you gotta do all this.

So I slowly started cutting back on the advise of many people. Life was so much more peaceful. I was able to be a better mother when not putting in extra hours at night and having less stress during the day. but, in the last week everything has been flipped on me. my boss hired an outside guy to take over my position (that mind you was never a real position until now.)

I guess I should've expected this to happen because someone needs to do all this but I'm so sad that my boss couldn't' communicate this to me and have a normal conversation. I guess I have no choice but to leave but I heard its a bad time to be looking for a job now. I'm so hurt and upset after all I've done.

Thanks for the vent...

gdgirl

Tue, Aug 27 2024, 1:54 pm

sounds like a difficult situation. But are you sure you need to leave if they arent asking you to? maybe they just got more reasonable and realized you are doing work intended for more than one person and so they hired someone to cover the overflow? or a m I not understanding?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Aug 27 2024, 2:23 pm

gdgirl wrote:

maybe they dont' want me to leave. I honestly have no idea. I don't' really want to. I enjoy the job immensely.
but, when I asked them to have a discussion about this change I was ignored. I was just sent an email last week letting me know that this guy is the new office manager. (over 3 other employees, but whatever...)
I have been in constant contact with the boss daily via text, calls, emails and suddenly as of last week without warning it all stopped. no explanation. then I get this email a few days later.
they are pushing me out...

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Aug 27 2024, 2:29 pm

amother Mustard wrote:

Wait for them to fire you so you can get benefits. You should not voluntarily leave your job and all this.

I would love that! but, I've been very involved in the company for long enough and even though its small, there were a 2 employees who've come and gone and I've had many discussions with my boss back then. he won't fire for no money. just make you miserable until you leave. I've heard that most bosses these days do this. they don't' want anyone to file for unemployment so they make it miserable enough that you just leave on your own.

its pretty hard the last 2 days coming to work and doing the job properly knowing that they completely don't value me at all anymore. like they are just using me for my expertise. I'm feeling used right now.

amother

Bluebell ↓

Tue, Aug 27 2024, 2:29 pm

It's true that we should be setting up boundaries, but if it's very clear that your workplace doesn't respect that, it's time to look for a new job.

If you haven't been fired, has the newly hired manager spoken to you at all about new job duties? Whay are you doing at work now?

I would not quit and I would wait for them to tell you if you have lost your job. In the meantime, look for a new job asap and try to get clarification from the new hore about new job duties. At least the new hire won't have any animosity towards you.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Aug 27 2024, 2:31 pm

amother Mintgreen wrote:

It does sound like they're pushing you out. I'm sorry Sad

.
It sucks when you work so hard and invest so much without being fully appreciated.

obviously there is no going back and I'm happy I did what I did, that I put my foot down. its not like I was getting compensated property for working so hard. but, is that the way it is, either you are at a good job where you work your head off or you just get pushed around and are not valued? I want to know for next time:)

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Aug 27 2024, 2:35 pm

amother Bluebell wrote:

I have an official job in the company which I've been doing all along. the part I put my foot down on was all the extra things getting thrown at me that were never part of my job. even things like ordering more paper. obviously that's a silly thing but this new hire is now in charge of doing all the things I was not happily doing. I still have my regular workload to do. that part isn't changing. but I have basically been demoted. I'm not privy to anything going on anymore aside for just my basic workload. when, until now I've been involved in literally everything, been asked advice and input in anything that needed. now I'm being ignored.

its only been a week. but I imagine it will just get worse. because there are so many things I have been automatically involved in being that I was the one to practically set up this office and keep it running until now.

amother

↑ Bluebell ↓

Tue, Aug 27 2024, 2:41 pm

amother OP wrote:

Isn't that what you wanted? To just do your job and nothing more? It sounds like they just finally realized you are serious and are respecting wishes. You can't expect to be involved in everything if you're refusing to do the work associated with it.

amother

↑ Mustard

Tue, Aug 27 2024, 2:43 pm

We’ll either one of two things will happen: you’ll enjoy doing the part of the job you always liked with no extra stress, or they’ll realize they need more from you and will approach you about taking on more responsibilities in a more organized fashion. Don’t go and offer all of your expertise and experience to the new hire for nothing, just continue doing your job and see what happens. Also don’t keep reaching out to the boss because you’ll seem desperate.

amother

↑ Bluebell ↓

Tue, Aug 27 2024, 2:44 pm

amother OP wrote:

There are places where there's an in between, but I think if a place doesn't respect boundaries there's not going to be any happy medium there.

amother

↑ OP

Tue, Aug 27 2024, 2:45 pm

amother Bluebell wrote:

this is what I wanted, but not to be pushed out. Such things should be respectfully discussed in a meeting or communicated over phone or email. not just ignore me and send me a one line email after the fact.

I don't think it makes sense to continue working for someone that treats an employee that invested so much like this.

amother

↑ Bluebell

Tue, Aug 27 2024, 2:48 pm

amother OP wrote:

If you can comfortably afford to quit and be unemployed while you look for new work, then you can do it.

I'm missing the part where you're being pushed around. Clearer communication would definitely have been the best way to handle this, but how are you being pushed around?

amother

Aubergine

Tue, Aug 27 2024, 4:09 pm

Absolutely do not leave. Let them fire you. Take the unemployment benefit and make him pay. It is a ROUGH market here right now. Sounds like maybe you work in tech and I’m telling you, HaShem runs the world, but it is not an easy market by any means. People are sitting for 10 months without an offer. The market is saturated

amother

Peru

Tue, Aug 27 2024, 4:17 pm

amother Aubergine wrote:

I second this. The job market right now is a flaming dumpster fire. Don’t leave. Stay until you have another job.

ora_43 ↓

Tue, Aug 27 2024, 4:24 pm

I'm confused. It sounds like this new job is nothing like your original job (he's doing specifically the 'extras'). Why the fear that he's replacing you? Is he trained to do what you do?

Also: constant contact with the boss is a lot. Very unnecessary in most industries. Is it common in your industry? What part of it are you missing? I can see scenarios where the boss suddenly going radio silent is a bad thing but OTOH for most jobs I think it would be a mistake to conflate daily calls, texts, emails, with valuing you as an employee.

↑ ora_43

Tue, Aug 27 2024, 4:29 pm

Honestly, this doesn't sound like the worst scenario.

Obviously the best scenario would have been your boss communicating from the beginning, and specifically, saying how much he values you and wants you to stay, and appreciates that he hasn't been considerate re: work-life balance.

But realistically, it sounds like this guy has never been a great boss (he makes people miserable until they quit; he has you frantically guessing what he might be thinking instead of just communicating). And he was never going to be a great boss. So now you're in a situation where (1) you don't have to work too hard, (2) he's not going to fire you. That's still pretty good, no? You have the work-life balance you want, and you have freedom to look for a new job while still having a steady paycheck.