Can I Request No shoes?

amother

OP ↓

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 10:16 pm

Bh we are privileged to host guests often for Shabbos or just quick visits. The guests are mostly family. I have an infant who enjoys being on the floor a lot. He is not crawling age yet but he rolls over and scoots off his floor mat and blanket. Pretty soon he will start crawling iyh. The thought of him crawling on the floor that everyone's shoes from outside walked on is TMI

Is it very unreasonable to ask guest to remove their shoes in this situation? I would obviously not demand, just ask. Or if not, do I just keep baby off the floor until I can wash it?

amother

Daylily

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 10:27 pm

As someone with hyperhidrosis, going to someone’s house and being asked to take off my shoes is my worst nightmare. Even without pressure, being asked is extremely uncomfortable and embarrassing for me

As for babies, it’s normal and helps build their immune system. Especially if one day they’ll be in playgroup

my mama

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 10:38 pm

I don't have a baby and still request that people take their shoes off before coming into the house. We have some house slippers for people that are uncomfortable being totally barefoot so that might be an option for you too

amother

Chicory

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 10:39 pm

Wow this must be cultural or regional or something. In our community, most homes are shoe-free. It would be odd to walk into someone else’s home without offering to take your shoes off first.

csfm

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 11:05 pm

I would stick to enforcing your preference despite any nay-sayers.
In the neighbourhoods where I'm from (in Montreal & Toronto), taking your shoes off indoors is perfectly normal and expected; especially where there are crawling babies at home. I don't see why anyone should welcome extra schmutz for their child to play with in their own home when it's simply not necessary.
In my home, I have inexpensive slippers set aside in the foyer closet for any visitors who want to wear them.
When I visit someone, I prefer not to walk around in nylon stockings or barefoot, so I bring a pair of indoor-only flats that can easily fit into my purse, or a pair of thick socks to slip on.

lamplighter

Tue, Aug 27 2024, 8:47 am

csfm wrote:

This is probably because of the snow and people wearing snow boots outside.
If it is part of your culture than you don't need to say anything it's a given, if it's not part of the culture, I can promise you, you are making people uncomfortable.

amother

Geranium

Tue, Aug 27 2024, 8:52 am

amother Chicory wrote:

Wow this must be cultural or regional or something. In our community, most homes are shoe-free. It would be odd to walk into someone else’s home without offering to take your shoes off first.

It’s very cultural. OP just make sure you have slippers for your guests to wear. Totally fine.

shabbatiscoming

Tue, Aug 27 2024, 9:00 am

amother Chicory wrote:

Wow this must be cultural or regional or something. In our community, most homes are shoe-free. It would be odd to walk into someone else’s home without offering to take your shoes off first.

Can I ask what community you live in or where you live that it is cultural to remove your shoes? Ive really only even heard of this on line, never in real life. And Ive been in different continents and never seen this as anything really done.

amother

Forestgreen

Tue, Aug 27 2024, 9:04 am

We are shoe free. I make kids take off shoes not adults. But most see the piles of shoes at the door and see we all are shoe free and automatically just take theirs off. Obviously people who have feet or other physical issues don’t.

If it was family I was close to I’d say if it’s possible can you take your shoes off since the baby goes on the floor. Say it in a way that if they have a reason to not want to they can say no with no pressure.

We do all wear socks or tights in my community so no one is totally barefoot which might make it less of a big deal.

amother

Brown ↓

Tue, Aug 27 2024, 9:13 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

I have lots of family in different areas of Canada (Toronto, Montreal, Edmonton) and they all have show free homes. It's the norm to take your shoes off when entering someone's home, most people carry little socks in their pocket all the time

asmileaday ↓

Tue, Aug 27 2024, 9:14 am

You can buy disposable shoe covers if you're really concerned.
https://a.co/d/g1hMM3Y

I don't think it's ok to ask people to remove their shoes.

I know people that have their bedrooms 1 floor up and ask not wear shoes upstairs, ok that I can hear. Most guest don't go there so it's just their own children.
But on the main floor it's really not ok.

I understand why you feel ick but your baby will be just fine.

↑ asmileaday

Tue, Aug 27 2024, 9:15 am

amother Brown wrote:

So interesting. This is the first I'm hearing of it (I have some family in Canada). I would never think to carry extra socks with me.

amother

↑ Brown

Tue, Aug 27 2024, 9:34 am

asmileaday wrote:

So interesting. This is the first I'm hearing of it (I have some family in Canada). I would never think to carry extra socks with me.

As a New Yorker I always find it funny to be sitting at a women's shiur with a bunch of women in stocking feet but that's how they do things

theoneandonly

Tue, Aug 27 2024, 9:41 am

These threads pop up every so often and people with shoe-free homes cannot fathom how uncomfortable and annoying it is for guests to walk around in just their stocking feet in someone else's house. I don't even walk around barefoot or just with tights in my own house.

If it's the culture in your community and everyone does it, then fine. But if you are the exception, then please don't do this to your guests.