Camp took boys to a pool and there were girls

amother

OP ↓

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 6:52 pm

Would this bother you? DS is in a camp for boys ages 13-20 with HFA. Today they had a trip to a pool and DS called to tell me that there were girls and women in the pool so he couldn't go in. Apparently the women were all covered up, but the girls were not and not all were that young. Almost all the boys and counselors went in anyway. DS and his counselor were the only ones who actually left the premises since DS was uncomfortable being there. DS's counselor called a posek from outside the pool to ask if it was okay to go in in that situation, and the posek said no.

Would you say anything to the camp? They're back from the trip so there's nothing to do about it anymore anyway, but I wonder if I should voice my displeasure. This is a yeshivish camp and I would not expect them to them to a pool with girls.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 7:07 pm

Molly Weasley wrote:

Wow
I would not be ok. It was probably a overbook issue.

Would you say anything after the fact?

Even if it was an overbook issue, I feel they should have left.

My son's school once rented a trampoline place for the day, and when they got there they discovered the rental place had messed up and it was open to the public including girls who weren't dressed appropriately. They took all 200+ boys and came up with another venue on the spot. And that wasn't a pool. As hard as it is to change plans, I think when there's a tznius issue there's no choice but to leave.

So any point in saying anything to them if camp ends tomorrow?

amother

Pewter

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 7:17 pm

I would definitely call them. And especially a camp of special needs boys not all are as on the ball as your son and it’s not fair to put them in compromising situations. That was really inappropriate and they should have left right away.

Was it a private pool owned by someone frum? Or a non Jewish place?

amother

Orchid

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 7:18 pm

I never call schools or camps to complain but this is a red line for me. I would for sure call to clarify what exactly happened and let them know that you're very surprised that they stayed and brought the boys into the pool with girls and women.

Your son did the right thing by leaving.

amother

Honey

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 7:26 pm

I’m very much on team you must say something to the camp. Cuz otherwise next year they’ll say “well no one said anything last year so it must be no one cares and we can do it again”

amother

↑ Carnation

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 7:30 pm

This reminds me.
This situation is very different, but a bit similar.
I once volunteered to chaperone my child's preschool class to a show.
They were taking the kids to a theater where they were performing Curious George. I don't know what the educational value in that was, but ok.

In this show, adults were playing the parts of the characters. For the most part it was cute, but there were one or two parts that I found offensive. Like someone's pants fell off, exposing his boxers. Of course, the kids found it hysterical, but I find this type of humor very inappropriate.

When we got back to the school, I mentioned this to the preschool director. She defended herself by saying that she didn't imagine that a show about Curious George would have anything off color. I asked - you mean you brought 100 yeshiva kids to a secular show, and you didn't watch it first to see if it's appropriate?

Needless to say, I was not impressed.
Yes mistakes happen. But it's how the camp reacts to it afterwards that is important. Will they apologize and acknowledge the mistake, or will they excuse it?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 7:41 pm

Thanks for all the replies. I emailed them thanking them for giving him a great time and then voiced my surprise and displeasure that they took them to a mixed pool.

amother

↑ Oldlace

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 7:48 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thanks for all the replies. I emailed them thanking them for giving him a great time and then voiced my surprise and displeasure that they took them to a mixed pool.

Perfect! Hopefully that alerts administration to make sure it doesn’t happen again. I wonder why none of the counselors said anything, did they feel too pressured to go along with the flow? It’s sad that they were all put in that position.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 7:53 pm

amother Oldlace wrote:

I have no idea. It is really surprising.

I will let you know if the camp responds.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 7:55 pm

amother Lightblue wrote:

I’m so impressed with your son, op! It takes a lot of guts to be the odd one out and do the right thing when nobody else is. Much continued Nachas.

He's on the spectrum. He couldn't care less what everyone else is doing. LOL

Amen!

amother

Lemonchiffon

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 8:08 pm

amother OP wrote:

He's on the spectrum. He couldn't care less what everyone else is doing. LOL

Amen!

I'm impressed with the chinuch you installed in him. You must be a fabulous role model to your children.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 8:18 pm

amother Lemonchiffon wrote:

I'm impressed with the chinuch you installed in him. You must be a fabulous role model to your children.

That's really sweet of you. Thank you.

amother

↑ OP

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 11:53 am

Boy do I feel stupid. They emailed me back that chas v'sholom they would take them to a place with pritzus and that they went to a natural pond, not a pool, and the only women there were frum women who were fully dressed and were on the side with their families. I asked my son if that's accurate and he said that there were little girls in the water who weren't dressed but no women except 3 women in tank tops who left as soon as they came. That's not at all how he portrayed it to me at first. I apologized to them for the misunderstanding and thanked them again for giving him a great time.

That will teach me to be dan l'kaf zechus in the future!