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-> Parenting our children
-> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
amother
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 Sat, Aug 24 2024, 11:08 pm
Our sweet and challenging nine year old child physically hurt my husband today and in trying to stop the child, deliberately physically hurt back. DH has never done this before. I think it was from the shock of the pain and trying to make it stop. The child was pulling my husband’s beard, so it was difficult to get out of the situation. At the same time, a real line was crossed. Obviously this child needs help managing emotions (and my husband does as well), but something in the relationship feels broken now and not sure how to repair (while of course, working on parenting and behavior etc and I made it clear that no matter what, this needs to get resolved etc and a physical response is never the answer…)
Any thoughts? When the challenging child pushes a parent to their breaking point and they break in this way…?
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amother
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Sat, Aug 24 2024, 11:11 pm
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Why do you think anything is permanently broken? It happens people react in a moment of pain and everyone moves past it. If it’s not ongoing it’s not an issue.
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amother
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Sat, Aug 24 2024, 11:15 pm
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There is an ongoing anger issue that we’re trying g to deal with, but this type of physical response was a bit more traumatic type than just pushing the child out of the way. I’d rather not give more detail than that. And the child continually refers to it.
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amother
Diamond
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Sat, Aug 24 2024, 11:24 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | There is an ongoing anger issue that we’re trying g to deal with, but this type of physical response was a bit more traumatic type than just pushing the child out of the way. I’d rather not give more detail than that. And the child continually refers to it. |
Can you explain what you mean by the child continually refers to it if it happened only today?
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Molly Weasley
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Sat, Aug 24 2024, 11:32 pm
Just to be clear, your husband hit your child, and?
That's a pretty normal occurrence to the vast majority of humans since the beginning of time.
Is there something very different about this situation?
Eta, this sounds harsh. I apologize.
I guess my point is corporal punishment is part of the very fabric of humanity, I'm not condoning it, but it shouldn't be traumatic long term for your child.
Last edited by Molly Weasley on Sat, Aug 24 2024, 11:44 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
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Sat, Aug 24 2024, 11:34 pm
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Are you having a reaction each time the incident is referred to? They might be doing it to get a reaction. Or do they normally fixate on things?
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imaima
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Sat, Aug 24 2024, 11:56 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | There is an ongoing anger issue that we’re trying g to deal with, but this type of physical response was a bit more traumatic type than just pushing the child out of the way. I’d rather not give more detail than that. And the child continually refers to it. |
Does the child also continually refer to his own actions?
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