Lakewood homeschool

amother

Pewter

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 2:18 pm

I had a friend in camp who homeschooled (from a normal tristate community, but not totally totally in town)

Her social skills were not up to par, and neither were her older sisters.

They were different.
Is that bad? I don't know.
That depends on what you think of being different.
Many people consider it a plus, I wouldn't.

Yes, I was friends with her, so obviously she had some social skills, but I wonder if she would have done better in a regular school.

Maybe the fact that she went to camp and therefore had those experiences to build and learn from socially helped.

Also, maybe they were homeschooled BECAUSE their family was different, and she wouldn't have done well in a normal school. Who knows?

amother

Cerulean

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 3:20 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

Are homwschoers social skills lacking?

Or is it the mass schooled kids who have poor social skills and recoil from. Anyone who can think outside the box and isn't a slavish conformist?

It doesn't need to be so black and white as you like to make things. A lot of it is personality dependent.
Did you homeschool your kids that you speak with such finality?

amother

Hosta

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 3:25 pm

amother Kiwi wrote:

Asking an honest question: if you have a group of girls learning together, isn’t that a school? Homeschool is a parent being with the children at their home. School is children going somewhere else to learn.

Not necessarily. "Homeschooling " can take different forms. I'm a private tutor and have taught for a Homeschooling family for many years. They have a number of teachers that teach different subjects (the mother teaches one too) and some of the classes the kids do with other kids. The image of a parent standing in front of a blackboard is a caricature of Homeschooling not a reality. As far as socializing, the kids are very well-rounded as they are used to interacting with people of all ages- from hobbies, groups, adults etc as opposed to traditionally schooled kids who are only and always with same age groups.

amother

↑ Chambray ↓

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 4:18 pm

amother Pewter wrote:

Can you give examples of social skills that were lacking?

I always wonder about these skills. School is an artifical construct. Being adapted to school and camp norms is different than lacking actual social skills.

amother

↑ Chambray

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 4:19 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

Are homwschoers social skills lacking?

Or is it the mass schooled kids who have poor social skills and recoil from. Anyone who can think outside the box and isn't a slavish conformist?

I think mass schooled kids might just have a certain set of skills that are needed to navigate the school and camp system successfully, and anyone who doesn't have that particular skill set is seen as lacking. I would only see it as a negative if it affected them down the line in real life, not just in camp.

amother

↑ Broom ↓

Fri, Aug 23 2024, 11:42 am

#BestBubby wrote:

Are homwschoers social skills lacking?

Or is it the mass schooled kids who have poor social skills and recoil from. Anyone who can think outside the box and isn't a slavish conformist?

I’m not going to argue whether it’s better to be a conformist or think for yourself. (Non homeschooled kids can learn to think for themselves too.) But the reality is that this it’s unfair for your kids to put them in a situation where they’re going to be the weird kids. And in Lakewood they will. Not only in snobby developments. Also, don’t kid yourself, many people would not consider a shidduch with a homeschooled family.

amother

↑ Nectarine ↓

Fri, Aug 23 2024, 11:47 am

amother Broom wrote:

I have no interest in homeschooling. But I don’t really see why anyone would even know the difference. Are you saying the kids on the block won’t let the kids join the ball game or the shabbos afternoon get together that all the kids that age are joining? Also Lakewood is huge, so many people, so many types. It’s hard to make a blanket statement of the whole Lakewood will have an issue with them. And they can marry another homeschool family easily there are plenty of those across the US. I don’t really see why it would impact them so much living in Lakewood. I’d probably choose Lakewood if I wanted to homeschool because the kids actually play outside all day, on bikes, with balls and have social lives unlike other communities I lived in where kids sat on screens all day or only had super official play dates.

amother

Sapphire

Fri, Aug 23 2024, 1:58 pm

amother Broom wrote:

My SIL who went to all the right BY schools and sem, lived the "typical" life, has been dating for years and is still single in her 30's

I was never in the same school for more than a year, lived in many states, come from a divorced home with issues. I got married to my first boy at 20. All my siblings got married right away too BH to amazing people, some from very very choshev families

Bashert is bashert, I dont make life decisions because years down the line someone might say no to my childs resume

amother

Black ↓

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 8:52 am

As an OOTer if I had to move to Lakewood for whatever reason I would probably want to homeschool. From what I know, academics in Lakewood schools are less of a priority than OOT. Plus if you homeschool you don't have to deal with getting your kids into schools. My only issue would be, would the kids on the block not be allowed to play with them.

amother

↑ Nectarine

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 8:55 am

amother Black wrote:

I don’t know if this is true. Kodesh is far ahead. And even English the girls tend to know more than oot girls in seminary.

amother

↑ Broom

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 8:58 am

amother Black wrote:

I doubt there are parents that wouldn’t allow their kids to be friends with yours. I’m just saying that especially as the kids get older they will be looked at as weird by the average Lakewood family. Some people don’t care to be the weird ones. I just don’t think it’s fair to their kids. And I’m not exactly the biggest conformist, at least not for Lakewood. But there’s a huge range between being a sheep and being a social outcast.

amother

Apricot

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 9:19 am

OP: I am not going to adress every single concern brought up on this thread.... some of them are silly.

I think in general, frum society is very much "follow the herd." I think in Lakewood you have more if that in other places. You see it in how we dress, the careers we choose for ourselves, the cars we drive, etc.... it exists.

I think that if you choose to homeschool, if you are mostly mainstream in other ways, no one will look at you funny. Okay, they might thing you are a little interesting, but it wont affect you in a major way. My husband has an old friend from yeshiva whose wife is a big homeschooler, and they are totally normal mainstream family.

And everyone seems to say that "kids are socially off" if you homeschool them. I think that has to do with the familes more than the actual homeschooling. Does anyone have any empirical evidence that kids who are homeschooled are socially off? Or is it just anecdotes? Send your kids to clubs or a social skills group if needed. (There are plenty of kids who go to school who are socially off as well).

I know a family near Lakewood that homeschools, and I think for them, they are very "anti-establishment" in general, and it shows. People pick up on it. But if you don't have that attitude, then it's a different story.

amother

Pistachio

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 9:57 am

amother Narcissus wrote:

I don’t know if this is true. Kodesh is far ahead. And even English the girls tend to know more than oot girls in seminary.

I live oot, my daughters went to hs in Lakewood, and they were way ahead in English subjects.

amother

↑ Black

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 10:41 am

amother Narcissus wrote:

I don’t know if this is true. Kodesh is far ahead. And even English the girls tend to know more than oot girls in seminary.

In seminary I found that I was way ahead of the Lakewood girls in secular subjects. They did have more knowledge of kodesh material. I guess it depends on the school.

Molly Weasley

Sun, Aug 25 2024, 1:49 pm

amother Narcissus wrote:

It's hard to explain the difference. You just see it.

It's like the way the media portrays us when trying to incorporate a Jewish religious scene on TV or in a movie. It's just "off".