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amother
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 Wed, Aug 21 2024, 9:46 am
I am feeling so stuck now!
In two weeks we have to pay the rent and tuition. We have to pay in cash so I cant even put it on the credit card.
We also bh have a simcha that will cost us a lot of money. Im spending the least amount of money on it but itll still cost around 3k.
Right now we probably have 1k in the bank and 2k in savings. I am owed money ill maybe get 1k of it before the first.
The bigger problem is my husband doesn't work as much as he can. He has a hob that is well paying per hour but he only ends up working less than ten hours a week. The rest of the time he's sleeping, watching videos, hobbies, and he does help.
I would love to work but do to my kids school hours I cant work not from home and I cant find a job from home.
My kids shoes are too small/ ripped so I need to buy new ones. But how do I pay for it- even $40 shoes?
Where do I find the cash to pay rent and tuition?
How can I get my husband to work more?
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B'Syata D'Shmya
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Wed, Aug 21 2024, 9:48 am
| amother OP wrote: | I am feeling so stuck now!
In two weeks we have to pay the rent and tuition. We have to pay in cash so I cant even put it on the credit card.
We also bh have a simcha that will cost us a lot of money. Im spending the least amount of money on it but itll still cost around 3k.
Right now we probably have 1k in the bank and 2k in savings. I am owed money ill maybe get 1k of it before the first.
The bigger problem is my husband doesn't work as much as he can. He has a hob that is well paying per hour but he only ends up working less than ten hours a week. The rest of the time he's sleeping, watching videos, hobbies, and he does help.
I would love to work but do to my kids school hours I cant work not from home and I cant find a job from home.
My kids shoes are too small/ ripped so I need to buy new ones. But how do I pay for it- even $40 shoes?
Where do I find the cash to pay rent and tuition?
How can I get my husband to work more? |
What does your husband say when you ask him these questions?
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amother
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Wed, Aug 21 2024, 9:49 am
Why can't you go out of the house to work if your husband 's seems like he's home most of the day anyways?
Something has to give. Either you need to get a job or he need to work more hours...
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amother
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Wed, Aug 21 2024, 9:53 am
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As your husband has flexibility (or somehow manages to work so few hours) in his job, there is no reason why you can't get a job as well. The child care will work out and he will be forced to either be there for the kids or to work more hours so that you have a higher income.
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amother
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Wed, Aug 21 2024, 10:01 am
In a similar situation.
I work almost 40 hours a week. No choice. He does some carpools/homework/dinner.
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amother
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Wed, Aug 21 2024, 10:04 am
Sorry I forgot to add it also doesn't make sense for me to work out of the house because I will then have to pay for more childcare which makes it not worth it.
I have tried getting my husband to work more hours, find another job but it hasn't helped
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amother
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Wed, Aug 21 2024, 10:08 am
| amother OP wrote: | Sorry I forgot to add it also doesn't make sense for me to work out of the house because I will then have to pay for more childcare which makes it not worth it.
I have tried getting my husband to work more hours, find another job but it hasn't helped |
Your shutting down all options. You can't work out of the house because of childcare but you can't find a job in the house. Husband can't watch kids but won't work more hours. How do you pay for things now?
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amother
Bottlebrush
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Wed, Aug 21 2024, 10:09 am
| amother OP wrote: | Sorry I forgot to add it also doesn't make sense for me to work out of the house because I will then have to pay for more childcare which makes it not worth it.
I have tried getting my husband to work more hours, find another job but it hasn't helped |
But if he's not working, why can't he do childcare?
You may need to bluntly tell him one of you needs to work more hours, and the other will do childcare. Which does he want?
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amother
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Wed, Aug 21 2024, 10:10 am
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But why would you need to pay for more childcare while you are working if your husband is home most of the day? Why can't he watch the kids while you work and he is not? Can you give us an idea of what hours he works and we can try to brainstorm jobs for you, even part time?
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amother
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Wed, Aug 21 2024, 10:10 am
| amother OP wrote: | Sorry I forgot to add it also doesn't make sense for me to work out of the house because I will then have to pay for more childcare which makes it not worth it.
I have tried getting my husband to work more hours, find another job but it hasn't helped |
So either he gets a better job or does the childcare- watching them instead of daycare- while you get the job.
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dinglehopper
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Wed, Aug 21 2024, 10:10 am
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What was your plan when you signed them up for school? One adult who works 10 hours per week and one who does not work outside of the home, is not a sustainable situation.
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amother
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Wed, Aug 21 2024, 10:12 am
| amother OP wrote: | Sorry I forgot to add it also doesn't make sense for me to work out of the house because I will then have to pay for more childcare which makes it not worth it.
I have tried getting my husband to work more hours, find another job but it hasn't helped |
Why can't he watch the kids?
Why can't he time his 10 hours a week to accommodate you getting at least a part time job?
Your choices are:
1. He works more
2. You work
3. Some combination of 1 and 2.
If choice is 2 or 3, everyone has to pitch in to make it possible.
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chestnut
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Wed, Aug 21 2024, 10:14 am
| amother OP wrote: | Sorry I forgot to add it also doesn't make sense for me to work out of the house because I will then have to pay for more childcare which makes it not worth it.
I have tried getting my husband to work more hours, find another job but it hasn't helped |
No, you shouldn't pay more for childcare. Your husband's 10h/week have to be around your world schedule. He'll be responsible for kids while you're at work, plus most of suppers, cleaning, laundry. This is what he signed up for when working only 10h/week. You can't provide for the family with one spouse working 10h/week and the other not working at all.
It shouldn't be a choice or discussion at this point. Just one serious question - are you starting working full time next week or I am?
Last edited by chestnut on Wed, Aug 21 2024, 10:16 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
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Wed, Aug 21 2024, 10:15 am
It doesn't make sense for him to do childcare because he has higher earning potential than me. I just need him to reach his potential.
Also when I work out of the house im more exhausted and he ends up working less.
I really would like to work from home, Ive been trying to make it work but nothing is working out.
Now we're paying for things with savings, the 1k a month he makes and money im owed
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amother
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Wed, Aug 21 2024, 10:24 am
| amother Clear wrote: | Why can't he watch the kids?
Why can't he time his 10 hours a week to accommodate you getting at least a part time job?
Your choices are:
1. He works more
2. You work
3. Some combination of 1 and 2.
If choice is 2 or 3, everyone has to pitch in to make it possible. |
Ask him those questions. I have tried getting him to work more. He doesnt.
Also the hours he works doesnt accommodate pick up and drop off. So I have to do it.
Yes my husband has issues but every time we talk amd try to figure thjngs out it helps for a week and then he loses his motivation
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chestnut
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Wed, Aug 21 2024, 10:29 am
| amother OP wrote: | It doesn't make sense for him to do childcare because he has higher earning potential than me. I just need him to reach his potential.
Also when I work out of the house im more exhausted and he ends up working less.
I really would like to work from home, Ive been trying to make it work but nothing is working out.
Now we're paying for things with savings, the 1k a month he makes and money im owed |
Look, you can't make him work more if he doesn't understand the situation.
What does he say about paying Sept rent and tuition, all subsequent ones, and for a Simcha?
You can try talking to his Rabbi if your husband respects him.
Maybe once the savings run out, he'll realize it's serious.
Other than that, you can do something about it (start working) or keep on wishing your husband rise to the occasion.
Maybe once he sees you're serious about working full time, he'll step up to the plate. The way things are, he's way too comfortable - he's living an amazing life, doing what he wants, while having very few responsibilities and worries.
Last edited by chestnut on Wed, Aug 21 2024, 10:31 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Firebrick
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Wed, Aug 21 2024, 10:30 am
| amother OP wrote: | Ask him those questions. I have tried getting him to work more. He doesnt.
Also the hours he works doesnt accommodate pick up and drop off. So I have to do it.
Yes my husband has issues but every time we talk amd try to figure thjngs out it helps for a week and then he loses his motivation |
He can't change his hours?
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amother
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Wed, Aug 21 2024, 10:30 am
| amother OP wrote: | Ask him those questions. I have tried getting him to work more. He doesnt.
Also the hours he works doesnt accommodate pick up and drop off. So I have to do it.
Yes my husband has issues but every time we talk amd try to figure thjngs out it helps for a week and then he loses his motivation |
If he's only working 10 hours a week then he has to work around the pickup and drop off. That's the way it works when you choose to work less hours. I work about 6 to 7 hours a day and I have to do most of the carpool because my husband works longer hours. That's just the way it works...
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amother
Tuberose
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Wed, Aug 21 2024, 10:36 am
| amother OP wrote: | Ask him those questions. I have tried getting him to work more. He doesnt.
Also the hours he works doesnt accommodate pick up and drop off. So I have to do it.
Yes my husband has issues but every time we talk amd try to figure thjngs out it helps for a week and then he loses his motivation |
He needs to see a psychiatrist. This is not a functional situation.
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amother
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Wed, Aug 21 2024, 10:59 am
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Not sure what your question is- you have two people not working . How do you expect to pay for things?
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