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40+ Ladies : Advice/What you wish to have done in 20-30s?
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amother
OP  


 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2024, 7:21 am
What do you wish you could have done differently in your life?
Any sphere: Parenting/chinuch/relationships/self/life goals?

Super curious to hear your thoughts, I am sure it could help a lot of imas with their direction or just provide valuable life insights and tips!

ETA
thank you dear ladies for your valuable insights & advice! Please keep the responses coming!
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amother
IndianRed


 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2024, 7:27 am
I wish I'd be more mindful and present and not just endure the time but really 'live it'
I wish I'd connect more and correct less
I wish I'd be mindful of teeth health and body weight - so difficult after 40
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amother
Currant  


 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2024, 7:29 am
Enjoy your children even if its just a moment a day they grow up so fast.
Take family vacations no matter whats going on in life even if you cant afford it they create lasting memories.
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amother
Mauve  


 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2024, 7:37 am
Not date just one guy longer than a few months
Finish college
Travel more
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amother
Magnolia


 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2024, 8:24 am
Learned how to invest.

Made peace with my small family size.

Used moisturizer.
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amother
  Currant  


 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2024, 8:45 am
Dont gain so much weight during pregnancy it gets harder and harder to come off
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2024, 8:50 am
I would’ve had more children.
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2024, 8:52 am
I wish I knew about inner child healing at that age . I would have been better at parenting and would have been better in relationships , especially with the relationship with myself .
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amother
Snow


 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2024, 8:53 am
Loving this thread. I am 32 for reference. I would love if you guys could also add how old you are now.
For example- I am wondering how old all of you who comment about weight are. 41 or 65? I think there is a difference there.
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2024, 8:55 am
I wish I would've gotten a degree!
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amother
Denim


 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2024, 8:58 am
When I was young I was suffering years of infertility, bh I have a decent size family which came later. If I would know that I'd end up with a family I wouldn't be so stressed and enjoy life, and use the time I had to travel with my husband, which is hard to do with babies and kids, bond with my husband.
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amother
DarkKhaki


 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2024, 9:02 am
More present w/ my first set of kids instead of just sailing through
I should of just tried to enjoy life, instead of waiting for next stage
Being more careful w/ health & weight
When I was going through sif, and didn’t have children for a few years, I should of still lived life & enjoyed it
Instead of being miserable , I should of done more for myself for my marriage
I could have had more hobbies , vacationed w/ my husband.
I didn’t do that .
BH we have often pushed ourselves & done family vacation, but we & husband haven’t gone away together in 13+ years
I regret that .
BH had more kids later on in life , and now our personal getaway will wait a lot longer .
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amother
Banana


 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2024, 9:18 am
40s
Struggling with weight loss. With it comes a bunch of other health issues.
Don't worry so much, smile more, trust more.
Work on your marriage when you're young so you don't have decades of unhealthy patterns to break later on.
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amother
Wandflower


 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2024, 9:21 am
I wish I had spent more time with my husband. We had date nights, but as our calendar got fuller, we had them less often and we never went away on a vacation without the kids, even once they were older.
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amother
Tealblue  


 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2024, 9:29 am
Bh- I am well into my 60s- not that many "regrets", but here are a few things would've done differently:
1. spaced my kids- 2 yrs apart in a large family is tough
2. gotten my license at age 17! I was in my 30s when I finally did- was waay too dependent on my DH.
3. Enjoyed my kids more as little ones!
4. Spent more time on family trips; my husband worked all Chol Ha Moed and all summer....
5. lost more weight prior to menopause ( I did lose 30 pounds in my late 40s- but put back 20 post- menopause)
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2024, 9:57 am
Love this! I am 42 and so grateful for my life, the struggles and the experience of life made me who I am today. I am closer and more connected to Hashem than I’ve ever been.

if I could change things I would have:

Finished school so I could be working in a higher paying field that I love

Invested small amounts when kids were little. Getting close to making weddings now and will need huge chunks of money

Done more date nights.

Spent more time with my siblings (we drifted apart so much over the years and I would love to get close again)
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amother
Grape


 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2024, 2:57 pm
I wish I would have had more Bitachon when I was younger. I would have made better choices. I reget the choices I made out of fear.
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amother
Navy


 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2024, 3:33 pm
I wish I could meet you all irl!
Upper 40’s
Wished I started trauma work way younger than I did

Then I’d have been able to do the things I wished I could’ve done when younger Wink
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amother
Cantaloupe  


 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2024, 3:35 pm
Young 40s
More kids
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amother
Blushpink


 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2024, 3:36 pm
I wish I hadn't squeezed my pores so much. And some moisturizer wouldn't have hurt either.
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