Keeping the Torah despite questions

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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amother

OP ↓

Sun, Aug 18 2024, 2:15 pm

Child has lots of questions about Yiddishkeit. We've reached out to many people and child is not completely happy with the answers.

Child has committed to remaining frum despite these issues but wants to know:
How can I give it my all when I have so much uncertainty?

In other words, they know there is a very high chance it's all true and they're ok to continue living this way, but they want to FEEL committed as well so they can live joyfully and not just be doing things by rote because it's "the right thing to do".

Any wise words of wisdom?

b.chadash

Sun, Aug 18 2024, 2:52 pm

How old is the child?

It's healthy to have questions. It's a sign of an inquisitive mind.
Reassure child that many great Rishonim (the Rambam, the Ramban and others) throughout the ages had questions and they addressed them in their writings.
Avrohom Avinu was the first one to ask questions. He didn't stop until he arrived at the truth. Yisro had questions.
Your child is in good company. Be proud of him and encourage him on his journey for discovering the truth.

Depending on his age and intelligence level, there are many resources that deal with common questions.
Simpletoremember.com
Aish haTorah
Rabbi Sapirman Ani Maamin foundation.
Rav Avigdor Miller's books and lectures

amother

Green

Sun, Aug 18 2024, 3:07 pm

How old are they?
Are the questions more hashkafa/emotionally based (why do bad things happen to good people?) or rational/science based (how do reconcile age of the world with bereishis?)
What circles are you in? Yeshivish, jpf etc

amother

Magnolia

Sun, Aug 18 2024, 4:01 pm

If they are old enough, maybe have them listen to YY Jacobson's Emunah series.

amother

Lightgray

Sun, Aug 18 2024, 7:17 pm

Are these questions emotional in nature or intellectual? Both are equally valid but they're treated differently.

amother

↑ OP

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 6:05 pm

The questions are intellectual. We've already been around the block and not looking for more answers at the moment.

The question I'm looking to answer is: How can someone who feels uncertain give it their all and feel energized by Yiddishkeit so they aren't just doing things by rote?

amother

Tuberose

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 6:12 pm

You can feel emotionally attached to the Torah way of life without knowing for sure that it's true. It's the joy you get out of it.

Ppl. Hate when I ask but does this child have anxiety in general because for some kids it can be an anxiety thing, needing to know for sure. Nobody knows for sure. I don't know for sure but I'm happy to do it. I struggled with this in high school.

Miranda Wright

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 6:29 pm

The Gemara says Hillel is mechayev the poor, Rabbi Elazar ben Charsum is mechayev the wealthy, and Yosef Hatzaddik is mechayev the sensually inclined. If these people could keep and learn the Torah in spite of their challenges, others have no excuses.

Your child is mechayev all those who don't have questions. If your child is doing it anyway, in spite of doubt and lack of inspiration, what excuses do others have?

eta - in my questioning moments, I find a lot of encouragement in the idea of the Jews as a people, a nation, and a cultural tradition that has lasted 2,000+ years under unfavorable and diasporic conditions, rather than focusing on Hashem/Yiddishkeit/beliefs. e.g., I do this because I am a Jew and this is what Jews do and have done for thousands of years, and this is what connects me to that history and to all my fellow Jews around the world.

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