Teens and Tisha b'av

amother

OP ↓

Mon, Aug 12 2024, 8:30 pm

My 9th grader is so checked out. She's generally not the most inspired personality but I usually can get her somewhat into most religious things. I'm not sure how to bring meaning into Tisha b'av.

My expectations are low. I don't want to push religion on young kids in ways they aren't ready for, and even adults (including myself, for many years) can have a hard time relating.

But I would love if someone has any ideas of how to add meaning to the day beyond trying to lecture or nag.

The last couple of years she was in camp during the 9 days and Tisha b'av and I was hoping it would be an educational or inspiring experience on some level but apparently she just zoned out the whole thing Sad

So it's just up to me and I don't really have an especially inspiring vibe being busy with little ones much of the time.

ra_mom ↓

Mon, Aug 12 2024, 8:37 pm

I rent and watch meaningful videos with my teens before chatzos. Is there something like that you can do with her? There are some from Hashkifa, Project Inspire, Shloime Zionce, Chofetz Chaim, Project Witness...
Find ones that are engaging, not a drag.

May we greet moshiach quickly and see the redemption speedily!

Last edited by ra_mom on Mon, Aug 12 2024, 9:05 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Snapdragon ↓

Mon, Aug 12 2024, 8:42 pm

ra_mom wrote:

I rent and watch meaningful videos with my teens before chatzos. Is there something like you can do with her? There are some from Hashkifa, Project Inspire, Shloime Zionce, Chofetz Chaim, Project Witness...
Find one's that are engaging, not a drag.

May we greet moshiach quickly and see the redemption speedily!

what Does sshloime zionce have out to watch this year that’s 9bav appropriate?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Aug 12 2024, 8:42 pm

ra_mom wrote:

Sure, I'm open to ideas.
The kids videos that I sent her to in the past weren't so directly related to Tisha b'av, I mean there were general themes of ahavas yisrael but nothing to really make one feel connected to the events or spirit of the day. And the adult lecture videos she wouldn't be interested in. So if you know of anything that hits a sweet spot in between I would love a targeted recommendation. Definitely don't have time to try them all and hit or miss.

↑ ra_mom ↓

Mon, Aug 12 2024, 9:01 pm

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12) 🎥 *Life Changers*
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BONUS (Podcast)
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amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Aug 12 2024, 9:14 pm

ra_mom wrote:

Thank you but that is a really long list, are there any you can vouch for as being appropriate for a disengaged 13 year old?

amother

Orchid

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 3:16 am

Not sure you're set up at home and how much time you have for this child but watchi g the video with her is gonna be a whole lot more meaningful for her than just sending it to her and expecting her to watch it
In the past sometimes I've set my (older) kids up at dining table with diamond art or painting or clay and put a video/shiur/story on while they are crafting which we all watch together .
They can tune in and out as they wish and feels less heavy this way.

imaima ↓

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 3:21 am

amother OP wrote:

So it's just up to me and I don't really have an especially inspiring vibe being busy with little ones much of the time.

Could it be too overwhelmed by fasting to care about much else?

↑ imaima ↓

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 3:24 am

amother OP wrote:

Is there a way to watch them together?
We watch the obligatory „Service in beis hamikdash“ animation (with younger kids) and I comment and direct their attention. It makes it into more of a bonding experience.

Chayalle ↓

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 9:55 am

It's not easy with teens.
I took my teen to the Judaica store last week to choose something inspirational for herself and the family. She chose a kid comic book about the churban, and Angels in Orange. I wholeheartedly supported her choices (and am reading both books myself. The comic book is actually very well done, has the history and the conflict of what was going on very well illustrated. And the Oct 7 book is definitely a must-read.)
I also stacked various books from previous year purchases on the coffee table, so they are available for reading. We have "A Time to Weep", "Touched by their Tears", and other similar books, plus various Holocaust books. She was definitely looking at some of them last night.
She went with me to Aicha last night, and is currently sleeping in. When she gets up I'll probably be listening to the Kinnus dial-in (they do shiurim on the various kinnus in Lakewood, and I dial in) till chatzos. She'll daven Shacharis. Sometimes she then comes and sits next to me, more for the company than for the shiur but that's fine.
After Chatzos we'll do some videos. And she'll help me bake for after-the fast. We might deliver some goodies for after the fast to her married sisters.
Basically it's where she's holding, and I try to slip in some info about the day wherever I can.