Son got rejected from post h/s yeshiva due to hf-asd :(

↑ LovesHashem

Mon, Aug 12 2024, 1:37 am

OP I agree with you it's sad that there's discrimination. But the reality is there is. I know people who have lost their jobs, jobs they were working for months or even years and the company was very very happy with them until they heard from a third party or a coworker...

It's very sad and scary. I'm pretty open here but in real life, I am not. I actually told someone a few months ago (that I knew for over a year and was close to) that I was autistic and it majorly backfired and I lost that relationship.

It's so awful people can't seem to get past what they perceive autism is to see the real person behind the big scary word.

amother

Azalea

Mon, Aug 12 2024, 7:07 am

For those who are saying not to be honest on the application, this might backfire tremendously. The issues will arise quickly upon arrival and the yeshiva might kick him out which will hurt a lot more than being rejected in the first place. I work in a sleep away camp and we come across this all the time. Parents who try to mainstream at the expense of the people around their child. Let me tell you, it never ends well.
OP, you need to find a yeshiva that will work with your son in a loving compassionate way. Being away from home is hard for mainstream kids and so much more for kids who already struggle. My cousin with Aspergers went to a yeshiva in Telz stone for challenged boys. He made friends and had two great years. They treated him based on his needs and help ed him navigate. Later he got a degree and then got married. I encourage you to find the right setting for him over the reputation of the yeshiva or the goal of maintaining him.

Much Hatzlacha

amother

↑ Pansy

Mon, Aug 12 2024, 7:51 am

Ironically I think my son's autiistic tendencies make him a great yeshiva student!

He absolutely loves learning.

My other son is much more sociable (although very bright) and I don't think will do so well in a typical yeshiva.

Also, when you have met one person on the autistic spectrum, you have met them. Not anyone else. Everyone is diffferent.

Your son and my son might both have HFA but may be very very different.

amother

Cornsilk

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 7:33 am

amother OP wrote:

We have a few other places that have been suggested to us, so we are looking into them and hoping that they aren't full already. Will hopefully post back here soon with good news.

I am saying a capital tehillim for your son to find a yeshiva he will be happy in.
In general, adhd and asd/hfa is nobody's business. Even when dating discuss with your rav the time and how much to disclose.
This is one of the reasons it says in mishna not to talk too much.
Hatzlocha you sound like a great mother.

amother

NeonOrange

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 10:49 am

Are you comfortable sharing the other options you were given? (I've got a son who sounds similar to yours and we are starting to think about this.)