My daughter is being taken advantage of

amother

↑ Currant

Wed, Aug 07 2024, 8:29 pm

amother OP wrote:

There are several special needs classes in my girls school year round, the girls have a ton of exposure to special needs kids on a daily basis & are bh doing amazing with it.
The girl that's currently in my daughter’s bunk, has behavioral issues & often has meltdowns and gets aggressive, which is why she needs her shadow at her side throughout the day & for activities. It was just too difficult on the girls. My daughter has a good heart & feels bad for everyone, and it seems like the shadow is just taking the opportunity to shirk her responsibilities.

100% you should bring it up to the camp.
You sound like an amazing mother and person.

amother

↑ Dandelion

Wed, Aug 07 2024, 9:55 pm

Tzutzie wrote:

I agree about talking to the camp.
Only when partners are paired up, they ships carefully choose a partner for her. Just to help with art and crafts, the shadow should definitely help the kid. Not your dd.
Unless a kid offers every now and then (highly unlikely) it is the shadows responsibility. It's literally what she was hired for.

Op, your daughter sounds like a real sweet heart.
The midda/nature she has is a beautiful yiddish hartz.

Take extra to build up her self worth, her self esteem and her confidence, and she will go very very far!

The shadow should help her. But it sounded like it was a partner activity and no the shadow should not be her partner every time when everyone else is with a peer. Otherwise why mainstream.

amother

↑ OP

Wed, Aug 07 2024, 9:59 pm

amother Dandelion wrote:

The shadow should help her. But it sounded like it was a partner activity and no the shadow should not be her partner every time when everyone else is with a peer. Otherwise why mainstream.

The shadow has to be her partner because of her behavioral issues. It didn't work out with the girls being her partner. She's too aggressive & was hurting girls. So the shadow has to be at her side all the time.

kermit

Thu, Aug 08 2024, 4:09 pm

amother OP wrote:

There's a special needs child in my daughters bunk in daycamp. My daughter is by nature very sensitive & inclusive of special needs children, and is very nice to them. It seems like the girls shadow is seeing this as an opportunity to let go a bit of her responsibilities & having my daughter be with her alot throughout the day. The shadow is supposed to be the girls partner at activities & she's been asking my daughter to be her partner. The shadow is supposed to help her with arts n crafts & she's asking my daughter to help her. My daughter has a hard time saying no to requests from adults/people older than her. Today she came home very upset that she's being taken advantage of & that she lost out on the fun of a special activity because the shadow asked her to be the girls buddy.
I want to bring it up with someone. Who do I call? The camp? The girls mother to ask her for the shadow's phone number so I can call her directly?
TIA

What a great learning opportunity to teach your daughter how to say "no" with compassion and firmness!

if done right, it's an empowering skill she'll learn for life.

Practice together how she will say no nicely next time and speak up for herself.

"I would love to spend time with Batsheva -- how about later, during lunch?"

"I would like to sit with my friend Reena for this activity. How about I come back later during art and spend a few minutes with Batsheva?"

etc etc.